Home, Sweet Home!

Miss Ginger was quite happy to get home last night after a couple of days working in New Orleans. When she left, that stupid hot tub was still hulking in it's spot at the end of the deck...

but when she got back, it was mostly gone, and the chaos of reconstruction had begun!

As soon as the materials come in, Miss G's big new deck will be laid, and she may even have a little dinner party to christen it. Most of Miss G's friends love a big deck as much as she does, so I'm sure it will be quite a party!

In other news, Miss G flew home across a cold front that has brought Texas it's most glorious weather so far this season! When the gate announcer told everyone the captain said to go to the bathroom before they were boarded because they wouldn't be allowed to get up during the flight, Miss Ginger new she was in for a bumpy ride! Luckily, it was a short flight, and we've been left with a beautiful weekend! Clear skies, temps in the 70's by day and 50's at night! Shelby and Jackson are thrilled because daddy lit the fireplace for them!

Hope everyone has a FABULOUS Halloween! Miss G is turning off the porch light and going to bed early... ghosts, goblins, and bad drag scare her!

I'm not sure which is funnier...

the caption or the photo!


It said" "looks like a big pink garbage bag filled with creamed corn!" Creamed corn- in a sentence! I'm laughing my ass off!!

For You Retired Researchers Out There...

with time on your hands for internet research...
how did the phrase "going commando" originate?

TONY!!!!

His name is Tony!!! Mr. Mischief's name is Tony!!! I win!!!!I am the first one to post his real name on my blog!!!!!

Best Wishes to the future Mrs. Mischief!!!

When Mr. Mischief said he had asked a very important question on his blog, Miss Ginger asked herself "do I dare hope?" Well, I did hope, and wish, and pray, and it came true! And Miss Alaineous replied, in characteristic fashion: "you bet your sweet bippy I said YES!" Actually, that may not be so characteristic... it was pretty "G-rated"! But that's the thing about our gurl.... you never know what she's gonna say! But this time she got it right, and Miss G is pleased as punch... spiked with everclear, of course!

Anyho, mention a wedding and a drag queens thoughts turn to dresses. Not that it's much of a turn... drag queens pretty much always think of dresses! Anyway, Miss G thought she would try to help Miss A find the perfect bridal ensemble. Here's what she's got so far:

Choice #1: Over-the-top Traditional:

Miss G recognizes that she may be projecting herself on this one. While this might be Miss G's fantasy dress, it could be a bit much volume for Miss Alaneous!

Choice #2: Classically Traditional:

Not quite so over the top, and a bit sexy and playfull with the open back. Still, it's a lot of look!

Choice #3: Painfully Period:

Knowing Miss A's penchant for history and all things educational, Miss G searched for a "period wedding dress". She got this dreadfully Victorian number with a Kentucky Derby headpiece.

Choice #4: Hollywood Glam:This Marilyn look is cute, young, and simple. And it doesn't require big boobs to look great. Miss G has never seen the requisite boobs, so she's not sure what she's working with here!

Choice #5: Over-the-top Sexy:

Deciding that a shorter dress might be the right way to go, Miss Ginger dared to search for "sexy wedding dresses". The hit she got certainly is! It's kinda cute- if Miss A can pull it off, I say go for it. I'm afraid Tim Gunn might opine: "you're teetering on the edge of costume here!"

Option #6: Runway Glam:

Miss Ginger thinks she's headed the wrong direction with this one! Assuming Miss A has the figure to pull this off (it only comes in a size 1!) I still think it's too informal to be a wedding dress. And she looks barefoot in those flesh tone shoes!

Option # 7: Hippy Chic:

In an effort to course-correct, Miss G searched for "hippy bridal gowns", thinking that might get us a bit more down to earth. I think we ended up with more of a costume for a high school production of "Aquarius!"

Choice #8: Renfaire Beerwench:

Even though she gave it a very derogatory title, Miss G actually likes this gown! The hairpiece and handbag need to go, but the bustline is great if Miss A has the boobs for it... and if she doesn't, Macy's has a bra that can fix that! I like this one a lot, but I'm not sure if Miss A will.

Choice # 9: Goth Girl Glam:

I'm thinking this may be the look Miss Alaneous likes best. It's a bit lacy, but it's still racy and edgy, too. The stylist has done a great job here. I think Miss A could rock this look.

Choice #10: A Ginger Grant original!

Maybe Miss A just needs to start from scratch and work with Miss G to design a ground-up original! Depending on the wedding date, Miss G would be THRILLED to run up a little number that would suit Miss A to a "T"!

Vote for your favorite on Miss G's sidebar!

PS: this blog entry was NOT approved by Miss A! She may think she can pick out her own dress!

DDB Weekend Update...

For those of you who are following the debauchery that is DDBW II, here's a quick rattle of the happenings so far.
We all met up at DD's for drinks, then dinner at an Afghani restaurant in his neighborhood. "Afghani" is exotic for "shish-kebobs on rice", and they were quite tasty, and just the perfect amount of food to form a base for a night of heavy drinking without making one feel all "bloaty". After a couple more drinks at DD's, we took at couple of cabs to 2x2 (2nd at 2nd) to "the Urges". After a little mangling and wrangling (and elbowing a few bitches!) we got the spot we wanted at the corner of the bar. DD instantly fell in lust with the great big bubble-butt Papi, Miss G instantly fell in lust with the cute young Papi with long hair and bedroom eyes (she remembered him from the last trip!) and Howard fell in lust with the DJ. Quelle surprise there! We were relatively well behaved except for the whole elbowing thing, and we didn't touch anything that wasn't offered. And a lot was offered. And we touched. It was all good!
Saturday am is rainy in Manhattan. We've accounted for everyone, and are going to gather in a few to head over to Excellent Dumpling House for some excellent dumplings and some Barbequed Pork Buns!!! More later!

Ghetto Note Pad

Sometimes Boy G gets bored during meetings and pretends to be very busy on his computer! Today he made this!

Cream of Twitter...

Miss Ginger has done you all the great favor of editing this hilarious Twitter post to only the best entries! You're welcome!
BTW... it's called "Shit My Dad Says"... and believe me when I tell you, Daddy Ginger could have said any of them!


· "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."
· "Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down."
· "You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."
· "It's not the gardener's job to pick up the dog shit. If you don't want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening."
· "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
· "Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty."
· "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"
· "Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
· "The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside."

What kinda shit did YOUR Dad say?!

Packinherbags.... AGain!

Miss Ginger is packing her bags... again! And this time it's a triple pack! 1st, she has to pack Boy G for a trip to Baton Rouge tomorrow. Smart boy actually routed the trip through NOLA and planned the sleepover there, so he'll land in NOLA tomorrow, hit the casino, and then drive the short trip to BR Thursday am for the workday, then fly back home that night. Then, she's got to get him and herself packed for DDBW II!! What an ordeal! He'll be easy to pack... a couple of pairs of jeans, some sweaters and a jacket, and he's good to go... he hasn't worn underpants in years!

Miss G, on the other hand, has got some work ahead of her!
It starts with the shoes... she's got to pick something FABULOUS and stylish, yet walkable... it's NYC after all! That schlep from the hotel to Esquelita could get ugly in the wrong shoes! Once the shoes are picked, she can choose an ensemble... something suitably FABULOUS to greet her NYC fans for the first time, yet not so flashy that she attracts il paparazzi! Why ruin an otherwise perfect evening with gawkers?! Once the clothes are selected, they will dictate the appropriate foundation garments... these thighs don't leave the house without lycra! She'll have to sift through the tackle box of spackle to find the cosmetics she'll need, because she doesn't want to haul the whole box on the plane! Then, there's la coiffure! OMG, what a hassle! It has to be wrapped in bubble wrap, nested into a corrugated box, and carefully place into a suitcase to be clearly labeled "FRAGILE- Handle with Care!" so those handsome luggage handlers will know to be particularly careful with Miss G's most important feature! No wonder the bitch doesn't get out much!
But, it will be worth the hassle to see her DEAR sister Mamie, the handsome Marker, and the ever chipper Sissy and his handsome hubby Joe! Oh, and Howard, Miss G's official DJ for the weekend! Gurl don't go nowhere without her soundtrack! Toodles, poodles! Hope you get to see me in NYC! Be there or miss Miss Times Square!!!!

What is it about a daddy?

There is something about a young daddy that just butters Miss Ginger's bread. Not a hairy, cigar-smoking, chaps-wearing leather daddy (although those are okay, too!) Miss G means a stroller-pushing, snot-wiping, species-breeding daddy! Maybe it's the ultimately "can'thaveability" of the situation? Or maybe it's the look of the "look what I did and it didn't even hurt" cockiness on his face. Whatever it is, you gotta admit there's something uber-hot about this:

But honey, he could do WAY better than that mama!! Miss Ginger can't squirt out babies, but she'd happily hire a nanny to take care of as many as he wants to adopt if that would keep him happy!

Welcome Gingersnaps!

We've picked up 2 more GingerSnaps® today, bringing the census of GingerNation® to 64! Hope you enjoy it here, and check out Miss G's blogroll and meet all her awesome friends!

How to tell when you've had enough at DDBW II...

Compare your behavior to this video. If it matches, you've had enough!

Course Correction

Sometimes we all make bad decisions. Miss Ginger has been living with 2 such decisions for about 4 years now, and had decided to do something about it!

Bad Decision #1- Birch Trees

About 5 years ago when the house was expanded and the back patio was created of flagstone and brick, Miss Ginger had the stonemason leave a little semicular clip in the corner to make a planting area, and she planted 5 little birch trees. So adorable, with little uplights and everything.

But now, they have just become the nightmare trees from hell! They drop shit on the patio all year long. Vines from the neighbors yards crawl across the fence and climb up in them. Their branches tangle in the power lines and phone lines. And birds sit in them and shit all over the patio table. They need to go!

Bad Decision #2- Hot Tub

This seemed like a great idea at the time! I guess Miss G had visions of a whole lot of this:

Instead, to Miss G it felt a whole lot more like this!

What a pain in the ass that thing was! Keeping the sanitizer level consistent was a nightmare, and the water just never seemed "clean" to Miss G. The first time it leaked, we fixed it. The second time it leaked, Miss G realized that it would continue to be a problem until the 10 miles of flexible piping that form its bowels got replaced. Miss G decided "fuck it" and shut the Goddam thing off at the breaker. It always made her skin itch anyway! It now serves only as a play surface for Nog.

So, off they both go. Of course, Boy Ginger wanted to do all these projects himself, but the ever clever Miss G said "Hell, no, we are hiring professionals!" So, she found an adorable little contractor who is going to rip out the hot tub and extend the deck into that space, and also provide some storage underneath and additional seating up top. And Miss Mary Beth is going to take her turbocharged chainsaw to the birch trees, and off they go! Projects that would take Boy G several months will be finished and cleaned up in no time flat!

All that will be left for Boy G is to plant a more appropriate specimen at the corner of the patio (Miss G is thinking bird-of-paradise), and then Miss G can add some fall color to the planter boxes!

Now that we have FINALLY reached that GLORIOUS weather stage that Texas gets to enjoy for about 2 months, Miss G can enjoy her back yard and spend more time with Nog! It's beautiful outside- a perfect 70 degrees with no humidity and not a cloud in the sky! We'll get to enjoy this until about Thanksgiving, when it is likely to get rainy! How's your weather?

Burnin' Down the House!

HFD puts out suspicious Heights blaze
By DALE LEZON Copyright 2009 Houston Chronicle
Oct. 13, 2009, 6:49AM


Firefighters put out another suspicious blaze in the Heights area overnight.
Around 9:30 p.m. Monday, the Houston Fire Department responded to a fire at an unoccupied residence near the intersection of 23rd Street and Durham. Firefighters quickly extinguished the blaze, but officials said it appeared to be intentionally set.
The Heights area has been hit with 15 suspected arson fires recently, starting in August. Most have been set at unoccupied businesses in the early morning hours along Ashland between 10th and 11th streets, meaning Monday's blaze was several blocks from where the majority have occurred.
The latest fire occurred on the same night of a Heights community meeting about the rash of blazes.
dale.lezon@chron.com



Miss Ginger is not sure what's going on in her lovely historic neighborhood, but this is gettin too close for comfort! It started with a rash of overnight fires confined to a one-block area that were determined to be arson. Apparently, most of them have been set in unnocupied houses or businesses on the other side of the neighborhood from Miss G. But this last one was right down the street on 23rd street.... Miss G lives on 24th! And, there's a vacant house around the corner from her that has had plywood over the door for years! Scary!
I can't imagine that it would be so hard to catch this guy... he'd be the one walking through the neighborhood at 3am with a can of gas in his hand!

I LOVE This Doctor!

Just another reason why Miss G is convinced there is no such thing as a "healthy lifestyle"!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.

.Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION:Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

The Demise of the "Big Gay Living Room"!

Quelle dommage!



Every big city used to have it's "Big Gay Living Room". You know, the bar that opened by at least 1pm, was the first to get a crowd, got REALLY crowded around happy hour, got REALLY crowded again just after 10pm, and then emptied abruptly about 30 minutes before last call! It was the bar where you knew the bartenders, always liked the music, and could usually just "show up" and run into at leat 20 people you knew!

Well, Miss Ginger has discovered that "TBGLR" is dead. Gone. Extinct. No longer needed. Like the abacus and bathtub gin, the THBGLR is obsolete..... gone forever!

In Houston, TBGR was JR's- "Never a cover, always a groove". On any given Sunday afternoon at JR's in the 90's. JR's would be PACKED with men! Older men looking to regain their lost youth. Younger men looking to see and be scene! And a young drag queen just looking to make friends in the world!

Not so much anymore! Miss G went for lovely afternoon cocktails with a new friends today, and we were initially SHOCKED at the scant crowd (though, Miss G must admit, THRILLED with the parking!) After a few cocktails and a bit of observation, we realized that there were several factions missing!

1. The young... Thanks to "Will and Grace" and other such shows, homosexuality is so well tolerated among young people that the gays and straights now just all party together! What the hell! Miss G tolerated the gropes of all the old farts when she was a cute young stud, so Goddamit, who's she supposed to grope now?!

2. The connected...what with "Twatter" and "facegrope" and all those other newfangeled sites, the boys don't have to drink until they filter through the rifraff to determine the least common denominator that will hook up with them tonight! They can just enter their search criteria and "badaboom... meet me in the third stall at Denny's on I-45 at 10pm!"

3. The old... they are too busy to go out! It takes hours to Photoshop their face onto a younger body with convincing realism!

Miss G misses the "good old days"!

What was YOUR Big Gay Living Room?

Miss Ginger Welcomes a "Newwwww Memba"!

3 actually! 3 new GingerSnaps have joined GingerNation®, and Miss Ginger couldn't be more delighted! No one is better at welcoming New Members than Fat Fighters own Marjorie Dawes, so here she is with a special welcome!


Not that anyone's counting, but that brings GingerNation® to a census of 61!!!

Get off!

Boy G heartily endorses getting baboosh off whenever possible!

Sex is Sex, Goddamit!

The uber-conservative and VERY Republican Houston Chronicle ran a very uncharacteristic "blog post" today entitled "Teens and gay sex: the numbers may suprise you"! Apparantly, there is shock in the universe that teen boys don't recognize butt fucking as "gay". WTF!?

These stats don't suprise Miss Ginger at all! While "acceptance" of gay sexuality may not be markedly increased among America's "adult" population today, "conversation" about such controversy is definitley "up"! In my parent's day, the conversation about the local florist was gossip about whether he "was" or "wasn't", not about whether he "should" or "should not" be allowed to marry!
It didn't matter one little bit to me and my best friend in high school! When he threw rocks at my second floor window on Saturday night, he knew that my momma had gone to bed, and my daddy was sound asleep in his recliner! We knew we could go up to my room and explore each other's bodies in a way we knew would not be accepted by our parents, yet in a way we did not identify as "gay". I mean, c'mon... it was a small town in south Louisiana! We knew there were people in the world who were "gay", but we had also been taught that this "freak of nature" only occured in places like California and New York. Even though we knew what we did with each other was "wrong" in the eyes of our parents, we also knew it brought us great pleasure, and a treasure we could share only with each other!
When we were in college, it was my BFF who first discovered that there were others in the world who could share such intense pleasure with us. At first, I was jealous, but I soon realized that I was not so much jealous that my love had been usurped as I was that my best friend was having thrills that I was not enjoying! Once I realized I could have the same euphoria, all was well in the Universe!
Then, Baby Ginger became the horndog of South Louisiana! She fucked what she could, and worked out until she could fuck what she previously couldn't! She was the belle of the ball, the wrecker of homes, and the breaker of hearts!
Then, the worst possible of scenarios occurred: she graduated from college!! Quelle dommage! She would now be required to earn her own way in the world!
Lucky for her, her parents didn't know about the whole "butt fuck" thing, although she's quite convinced that before their untimely deaths, an unspoken "don't ask, don't tell" policy evolved. Momma G once said "your Daddy and I don't tell about our sex life; we don't want to hear about yours!" 'nuff said! The 'ner disinherated Miss G can live with all that!
Originally, this post had a single point, but its has now evolved into a "bi-pointed" post!

Point #1: As conversations about sexuality become more comfortable, and lines between "gay" and "straight" blur, it's important that high school age kids learn that intimate contact with another human of either gender can put them at risk for STD's. It's no longer the Grease mentiality of "don't fuck the easy girls" and you'll be okay!
Point #2: Miss G's philanthropic focus has evolved, Miss G realizes, as a way for her to "make right with the world" her parents very narrow focus on sexuality. What better way to repair their naivety than to use their own money to support a cause they would have opposed... because they assumed it did not apply to them! If they had known how important the cause was to their baby boy, they would have been the proudest parents the the P-flag rally. Eventually! Love ya, Joy and Frank! And I wish you were alive today to see how succesful and happy your baby boy has become!!!

NFL Hottie of the Week!

Miss Ginger's latest heartthrob is Houston Texan's Rookie Connor Barwin! He's tall, hunky, and has a great smile! What a dreamboat!

The Texans are not the winningest team in football, but they do try to always keep at least one beautiful piece of white meat in the locker room, and for that Miss Ginger will always be a loyal fan! Hopefully, Miss G will have more pics of Connor for you as his Texans career continues!

Miss Ginger Has Suspected This All Along!

Healthy foods carry hidden dangers, study says
Watch out for these: spinach, tuna, oysters, sprouts
By LYNDSEY LAYTON Washington Post
Oct. 6, 2009, 2:00PM

Leafy greens, tomatoes and berries: They're packed with vitamins and showcased by nutritionists as healthful foods that Americans should eat regularly.
They are also among the 10 foods most likely to make you sick, according to a nonprofit research group's analysis.
Researchers analyzed federal data collected since 1990 to identify the foods regulated by the Food and Drug Administration that caused the most outbreaks of food-borne illness. The 10 riskiest foods were, in descending order: leafy greens, eggs, tuna, oysters, potatoes, cheese, ice cream, tomatoes, sprouts and berries

(Read the complete story here!)

Miss Ginger has for years suspected that the FDA and the CDC were enormously full of shit! I mean, c'mon- which is better for you: food produced under controlled conditions in a labarotory environment by proven chemical reaction, or random "produce" grown God knows where and fertilized with God knows what, not to mention that it is either infested with God knows what or laced with God knows what to avoid said infestation! I mean, really, Miss G feels much safer eating something that's been hermitically sealed in a can for God knows how long than she does eating something that been sitting all open in a produce bin for God knows how long, being handled and sneezed on by God kows who!

If this post doesn't help us all lose weight, than God knows what will!

Sunday Services

Continuing Miss Ginger's newfound craze to bring you songs of inspiration on Sunday morning, she stumbled across this fascinating youtube from a BBC Television show called "Last Choir Standing", which just goes to show how desperate the Brits are for quality television entertainment now that "Little Britain" is in reruns!
Just to set this up for you:
it's a bunch of British girls in green mini-dresses-
and a handfull of rythm-less British guys in all black-
in swing choir style on risers-
singing gospel music while a black guy on a pedestal does a St. Vitus dance in the middle of the studio.
Yet surprisingly, Miss Ginger found it quite uplifting! Enjoy!

Disturbing on So Many Levels!

Not the least of which being that these are (supposedly) adults! Judging by their size, at least! Miss Ginger feels compelled to point out the trailer house in the background. And I'm sure there's an Alabama flag flying somewhere!

For Auntie Flame on her Special Day!

Here's one of my favorite disco anthems of all time, extalling the virtues of one of my favorite names of all time! HBD to my favorite blogger "Auntie"!

Jack in the Box!

If only contentment and security were so simple for the rest of us.....!

Boy Ginger on the News!

Not in the news. He's done nothing newsworthy. But he was pictured on the local news, which is kind of exciting! At the luncheon on Tuesday he had the opportunity to speak with Mayoral candidate Annise Parker, and the newscameras filmed him, abeit quite briefly.

I can't figure out how to imbed from the Channel 2 news site, but here's a link if you want to see! It's around 1:25!

http://www.click2houston.com/video/21176427/