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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Dentist to the Star Quoted on MSN!!

You met him first here on TFBOMGG and now he's been picked up by MSN!!

Miss Ginger's personal dentist, Dr. Randy Mitchmore, has been quoted (several times!) in an article on MSN!

Doctor Randy is the artist responsible for Miss G's million dollar smile! If you read this article and discover you've fallen prey to some of the nasty habits that cause teeth to fail, Dr. R is your man! If you make that kind of investment in your smile, it's worth getting a recommendation from someone you can trust, so trust, gurl- if you need serious dental work, consider coming to Houston to have it done by the best in the nation!! It's totally worth the trip!

I Guess It Had to Happen!

Boy Ginger has started a blog! That little shit copies everything I do!!



Ever since he was elected "Fund Raising Director" for the Krewe (yesterday!!), his head has gotten SO BIG!!! The kitties and I can hardly live with him! All he does is run around the house talking about money-making schemes!!! "What do you think of this? Would people buy that? How many would come to xxx? It's driving us insane!!





Still, it's great to see him finally excited about something!!! So, throw the kid a bone!- Check out his new blog, and leave a comment! Maybe even give him a follow... but not too many! He'd better not get more followers than me!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

A National Museum for BunnyNation!!

Some couple in California has turned their home into a museum honoring the form, shape, and art of all things "bunny". Normally Miss Ginger would consider this behavior odd, but in this case, it is understandable, because the iconic bunny is so much a part of the heritage of our great BunnyNation! I know our lupine leader, David Dust, will be so proud!!

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Moment of Silence....

As is the custom at TFBOMGG, let's please have a moment of silence for Bruce.

My dear yoga teacher Darla lost her trusted companion today, and his pure, sweet soul has gone to a better place.




Miss Ginger didn't know Bruce well. He was a rescue dog, and apparently had been abused by a man in his prior situation, so he did not respond well to men's voices. He was an everpresent sweet soul at the Yoga Garden, and usually held a watchful position at the top of the stairs.


Godspeed, Bruce. And condolences, Darla. Thank you for being his friend!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Miss Ginger Opines on Tonight's Big News!

Miss Ginger hasn't much to say on all the recent hooplah about "healthcare reform". But now that it has passed, she's gonna put in her 2 cents. Fasten your seatbelts: it's going to be a bumpy night!




First, she finds it unfortunate that it was billed as "healthcare reform". In Miss Ginger's humble opinion, that nomenclature turned off a lot of folks who are happy with their healthcare situation. "I have insurance. I like my doctor. I can afford my prescriptions. Don't fuck it up!" These people, a large portion of the country, Miss Ginger included, are totally unaffected by this "healthcare reform".


It probably should have been billed as "insurance reform". Really, that is what will be changed by this bill. People who have not previously had access to insurance will now have it. The government will pay for it, the same way the government pays for everything it spends: by taxing Americans. This great American way has built interstate highways, bridges, schools, buildings, monuments, parks, and a pretty impressive office building for the man we elected to manage it. Oh, and it funds a pretty nifty set of services to protect it, as well. It's how we do things here in America. Always has been. Always will be.




But really, Miss Ginger sees it as "wellness reform", not just for individuals, but for the entire nation. In the past, the under insured did not have access to basic healthcare needs at many points of life: they went without well woman care.... prenatal care.... child development screening... asthma management... treatment of occupational barriers like depression and ADHD... diabetic care... blood pressure management... cholesterol screening... the list goes on and on! While the rest of us went about our daily lives, the underinsured struggled to get by without the health or wellbeing needed to hold down a job and manage their affairs! No wonder they are poor! It's a pretty vicious cycle!


Only when their condition became critical did most of them ever see a medical facility, and then it was typically an ER. High blood pressure became heart attack, diabetes became renal failure, or depressional became a suicide attempt before anyone would say "Get this man to a hospital! He's dying!!"



And for those Americans concerned about the cost of the "wellness reform": do you KNOW what an ER visit costs? Probably not, since your insurance paid for it! It is EXPENSIVE... WICKED EXPENSIVE to staff and manage an emergency facility! Our insurance pays for our visits. The government is already using our taxes to pay for the ER visits of the underinsured.


So, here's an idea: let's use some of that money to provide insured healthcare so we can keep them out of the ER in the first place. Funny thing about high blood pressure medication- it works just as well on poor people as it does on rich ones! And poor kidneys last as long as rich ones when their diabetes is treated and managed!


"So, Miss Ginger, what's in this for me? I'm not rich enough for my taxes to be increased, and I'm not poor enough for the government to buy my insurance, so why should I care?"

Well, you selfish son of a bitch, you SHOULD care because of your compassion for your fellow man. You SHOULD care because it is right, and decent, and good for you to want dignity and good health for all humankind. And you SHOULD want wellness for all because it is good for your spirit, and soul, and piece of mind!

But, clearly you don't, so Miss Ginger will put it into selfish terms you can understand.


Say you went to the mall to do some shopping, and you were thirsty so you stopped by the food court to get a soda. The young uninsured man behind you in line appears to have a cold, and sneezes. He looks really sick, and you think "gee, he really should stay home and take care of himself." But really, he doesn't have a cold. He has bacterial meningitis. And guess what. Now you do, too. One droplet from that sneeze is all it would take for his lack of healthcare to affect you. Oh, BTW: you should probably see a doctor. That shit can be deadly!

The good news is: you can still see YOUR doctor! Your healthcare will still be provided by the same free-enterprise doctor you know and trust. It will not be privatized by the government, or run by some Obama-appointed civil servant! And most of the patients there, like yourself, will be covered by insurance. The only difference is who paid for the insurance.

As Miss Ginger says, her personal healthcare will not change one bit by this legislation. But she is thrilled to say that one of her favorite charitable organization, Legacy Community Health Services, will benefit greatly by this! Or, I should say, their patients will benefit! Legacy's funding will now go so much farther, as many of their uninsured and underinsured patients will now be covered by insurance. They will be able to see these patients with much less administration and paperwork, and without having to use private funding. This means their money can go toward helping people who fall outside of the guidelines for government assisted insurance, which there always will be!

So, Miss Ginger won't be retiring her wigs and heels just yet!!! She'll just be helping even more people with every song she sings!!

Big Girl with a Big Grill!

And it's getting a major workout today!

Boy Ginger's boss, knowing that he lives with such a charitable soul, put him in charge of the District's March of Dimes campaign! So, Boy G volunteered that charitable soul to make her famous brisket and ribs Bar B Que to sell for $10 a plate. As you can see, there's hardly an inch of space in the ole grill, with ribs braising in their sauce, sauages steaming in beer, a big beef brisket, and a big pot of "semi-homemade" sauce the slather on all of it!

Miss Ginger would rather be sewing, but it IS for a worthy cause, and she's such a sucker for those!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Miss Ginger Hates the Gym!

Really, she does! That's why she's so "curvy"! You lift a heavy object, you set it down, you do it again. You call that exercize. She calls it indecision!
That's why she likes yoga... it's kinda like dancing, but not so complicated. Plus, she likes the names of the poses! They sound so funny, and she can never remember them all, but she has memory devices to remember the "landmark" poses so she doesn't get lost! And Darla doesn't even get mad when she sometimes giggles in class when she thinks of these silly names!

Some are easy to remember, if not so easy to do! Utkatasana is the sanskrit name for "Awkward Pose", which it certainly is!












Some of the rest are harder on the tongue and the memory!


Ardha Chandrasana is the Half Moon Pose, but Miss G can only remember it as Artichokeasana!










Dandayamana - Dhanurasana is the Standing Bow Pulling Pose, which Miss G remembers as Dandymanasana!













Balancing stick is Tuladandasana, which of course Miss Ginger remembers as Tallulahndasana!












And finally, Supta - Vajrasana; Fixed Firm, or The Reclining Hero's Pose, which of course makes Miss G think of this:
















On a lot of the others, she can never remember the name, but it doesn't really matter if a bitch can get her legs up over her head! For the record, Miss G cannot, but a girl can dream, can she not?

Friday, March 19, 2010

Miss Ginger's Guide to Beautiful Feet!

Even though Miss Ginger farms Boy G's gross retail feet out to Vietnamese professionals, she doesn't trust her tender tootsies to anyone but elle-meme!

Here's her foot care routine. Like all good things, it starts with a trip to the Mall!


First stop: the Body Shop, for a jar or two of Peppermint Pumice Foot Scrub! Believe Miss G when she tells you: this shit's the shizzle!!!




Next, she swings by Target for a brand new Scotch-brite pad! You know, the kind Celia uses to scrub baked on shit out of a casserole dish! But you have to have NEW one!!


And finally, she swings by Aveda for a tube of Foot Relief Creme. She's tried them all and it's the best!





So here's the regimen: In the shower, take a big glob of the Peppermint Scrub and plop it onto the wet Scotchbrite pad. Now, scrub the shit out of your feet like they were covered in baked on horseshit! Scrub! Hard! Use a circular motion and concentrate on the heels, but be sure to get the big toe, the balls of the feet, and the cuticles!

After your shower, dry your feet carefully, slather on the Foot Relief Creme, and put on a pair of white cotton socks. Now, go to bed. When you awaken, your feet with be blissfully soft and smooth. If they aren't your skin was seriously fucked up and you need to do it again for a few nights until they are!

Now, don't let them get all crusty ever again, okay? If Miss Ginger has to ride an escalator behind you and see those walking scabs at eye level she might just barf!!

It's Sandal Season!!!

Of course, Miss Ginger maintains an immaculate pedicure at all times, what with her busy social calendar and all! But she realized with the warm weather approaching, it was time to pack up Boy G and send him out for his annual hoove scraping! I swear, by the time that little Vietnamese girl finished with Boy G he had lost 10 pounds, just from the PedEgg alone!!





Because Miss Ginger can't be everywhere, sometimes she has to send Boy G out to do her bidding, and she certainly couldn't let him run around in shorts and flip flops with crusty feet!!!


At the risk of you all thinking Miss G is some weirdo pedifetishist, she does want to remind you how dashing a man can look when it seems as though he's ready to just kick his shoes off and get busy!!



Celebrity Death March 2010 Begins....

Remember last year's Celebrity Death March? Well, this March, it's back, with the passing of at least 3 celebrities. Albeit B-list celebrities, they are, nonetheless, dead.


We start with Peter Graves, remembered most fondly by my generation for his classic role in the movie "Airplane", where he uttered that immortal line "Do you like gladiator movies?!"


I seem to recall Momma G talking about how in his younger day, a young PG really "buttered her bread", but he never really did much for Miss G.





Next up, Merlin Olsen, best known for his role as an ancillary character on "Little House on the Prairie". So forgettable was that spot that Miss can't remember the character's name, or really his reason for being on the show. I'm pretty sure in those days he would have been considered a "drifter".

MO (?!) started his career in sports, which would typically tickle Miss G's loins. As you can see by his trading card, this was not the case in his situation.


Finally, Fess Parker, of Davy Crockett fame. Miss G remembers her brothers watching Davy Crockett on Sunday nights with Daddy. Miss G happily went to bed early.





Fess did not age well, but I'm not sure what one would expect from someone named "Fess". Really, Mrs. Parker: what WERE you thinking? C'mon- Fess up!" (Badomp-bomp! Ching! I'm here all week!)
So, on to Miss G's favorite part of the Celebrity Death March: READER PREDICITONS!!!!!!
Who will be next???

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Day Has Finally Come!!!

No, not St. Patrick's Day, silly! That comes every year!!!



Today is the grand opening of a very special place right here in the Heights, Darla's Yoga Garden!!!


Miss Ginger was first introduced to Darla several years ago when she had another studio here in town. The first time she went, she thought she was going to DIE! And she was like "WTF? Why would anyone want to DO this?!"

At that point, Darla was teaching a pretty strict Bikram series, with the Bikram instructed dialogue and the Bikram-taught expectation of yoga room discipline. Sometimes it was kinda rough, as you were instructed to "lift... more... reach... higher... pull...pull...pull!!!"

But then, after it was all over, and Miss Ginger had washed the sweat off and gotten her breath back, she thought "I DID it!" What an accomplishment!! Plus, it was the cleanest, purest feeling afterward! And, that night, she slept like a baby!! After that, she was pretty much "a regular".

That original studio closed. Drama ensued. Yoga ceased for a while. Then, Miss G got an unexpected email from Darla that said, basically, "for those of you who wish to do yoga with me, I have found a place!"

Darla had found a place to do yoga, and a place of peace for her soul. Pursuant to the drama mentioned above, Darla no longer taught "Bikram" yoga, she taught "hot yoga". No "brand name" meant there was no expectation that the "franchise" be respected. She could teach as she wanted. Teach as she needed. And teach, she did!

A room above the kitchen at the local Hare Krishna sat unused- uncomfortable, hot, and too difficult to air condition. So, the Krishnas installed mirrors and a dragon heater and rented it to Darla to practice her craft!

It was fun to meet Darla at the temple and do yoga! There we were, in our special yoga clothes, with our special yoga mats, and our special water bottles, driving expensive imported cars- and there were the Hare Krishnas- often in their unusual garb and interesting hairdos, living their life of devotion. And there was mutual respect. And admiration. And love.

We had great yoga at the temple. Small classes. People who were there for the yoga, not for the "scene." We discovered "silent" yoga, with sitar music, and kirtans, and amzing relaxation. Darla practice with us, but always kept a mindful eye on the students as well.

But, as the saying goes, "all good things come to and end", and the lease expired, and it was not renewed. Again, no yoga. A breakup in Ginger's life. Chaos at work. And lots and lots of Pinot Grigio! So, for Miss G, 40 pounds later, the day has finally come!!!

Over the past year (more?) Darla has converted a darling cottage in the Heights into Darla's Yoga Garden, a place where she and her students can practice and share their love of yoga! It's been a long haul! Do you know the engineering it takes to heat a room to 110 degrees? There were kerfuffles with the city. A handicap ramp?! Really?! We have to have a handicap ramp at a private yoga studio? Bubbling floors. Yes, it takes special adhesive to glue the tile down in a 100 degree room! Shouldn't a flooring professional know these things?!

But, it's all done!!! Miss Ginger has been one of the lucky few who has had the opportunity to practice during the "soft opening" classes, given free by Darla as she ensures the workings and amenities of her yoga boutique are in place. It's a lovely facility, and Miss G is thrilled to have such a great place to work on her mind, her spirit, and her big fat body!!!

Through all this time, for Miss G, when there was no Darla, there was no yoga. Miss G wasn't interested in practicing with anyone else. Darla knows about Miss G's quirky back. Darla knows about Miss G's completely fallen arches, making her feet completely worthless at supporting the one-legged poses. And Darla watches Miss G for signs her blood pressure is rising, and encourages her to sit and calm herself when the need arises.

No, Miss G could never do yoga without Darla. It would just feel dirty! And that kinda defeats the purpose, right?

Another Terrible Idea...

this time from those clever(?) Japanese?

At the Tokyo equivalent of Petsmart, you can place your dog in a dog washing machine, start the the cycle, and 30 minutes later fido emerges clean, happy, and healthy!


?
Miss Ginger just has to declare that this torture chamber smacks of animal cruelty! I mean, really! Locked in a chamber for 30 minutes while you are blasted with water, suds, more water, and then hot air?? Even Jackson and Shelby agree that no doggie deserves that!
Where is the humane society? SPCA? PETA??!! Anybody?!!
If you MUST see this monstrosity in action, follow this link! Miss G can't bear to watch it again!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Project Runway P.A. Right Here in H-town....

...at one of Miss G's stores!!!!



Nick Verreos, from season 2 of Project Runway, apparently is still looking for a "real job". So meanwhile, he is hosting the Macy's Fashion Challenge right here in H-town to earn a few extra bucks!




Members of the instore audience will be selected to pull a "look" for a professional model, and the winners get a $100 Macy's gift card to spend on their own spring wardrobe!




Sounds cute, and even though on weekends Miss G generally avoids the Galleria like the plague, she may just have to saddle up Veronique and head over there to see little Nikky-nik!




Anyone have a message for me to give him?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Miss Ginger's Heart Breaks For Her Beloved Nutwood Beth!

Nutwood Beth is one of the bloggers Miss Ginger has not yet met face to face, but she certainly hopes to some day soon! And she is SO heartbroken that another soul has to endure the tragic loss of a parent to stroke! The funny thing about death and loss (not funny "haha"... funny "???") is that every situation is different. While Miss Ginger can imagine Beth's pain, and suffering, and angst, she certainly has no idea what Beth is going through right now. It's always different.

Miss Ginger's experience with Momma G did have a lot of similarities. Momma G had a sudden stroke- no warning or expectation. Most of her children were in another state. Anti-stroke drugs had no effect. The CAT scan revealed that the damage to her brain was "catastrophic". There was no hope for functional survival or occupational recovery. If she survived, she would be, as the term goes, a "vegetable". God, I hate that word to this day!!!!


Miss G made it to Momma within 12 hours of the stroke. I know she knows her baby was there. After that, it becomes a blur. CAT scan... neurologist... "if she survives"... "catastrophic damage"... heavy breathing... panting... shots.... calmness... brothers holding hands.... blip. blip................ blip.........................................blip.......................................................blip......................................................................................blip.
......................................................................................................................... blip.........................................................................................................


beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.



silence.











Thank God I will never have to go through that again. Dammit all that Beth has to suffer through it!


I wish I could do it for her! I'm an old pro... maybe even good at it. No one should have to go through it. No one! But, we all do, at some point. And we survive.



Beth will survive. She's a survivor. And she has her beloved Ken and a strong family to help her through.


Her life will be changed forever. Changed by the loss of the man who help bring her to this Earth. And she will be honored to be there to see him through it!


Godspeed, and prompt succor, Daddy Nutwood! Prompt succor!

Mind Melded...

....and uber-connected! The technically deficient Miss Ginger, with the help of her even less technically savvy sister, have finally gotten Miss G up and running on twitter!!!




Since Boy Ginger already has facebook covered, she figured she would tackle twitter herself! I mean, if this queen and this queen can do it, surely so can she!


And, while still in the testing phase, she thinks she has made this plethora of useless information that she shares totally interconnected- a sort of mind-meld of all things Ginger! If it works, her blog will post automatically to facebook and twitter, and she'll be able to twit her twat wherever she is!!!

But all you blogger folks please remember to come back to blogger and comment! Nothing warms the cockles of an old gurl's heart like a friendly comment on her blog! And these days, Miss G's cockles don't get much other warmin', if ya git ma drift!



BTW, all the links you need to follow Miss G around the galaxy are pulled together very neatly in the tool bar under the header! Just click the link "Follow Miss Ginger" and choose the mind-numbing electronic social network of your choice!

So, GingerSnaps, tweet me!!! Hopefully I can figure out how to answer!!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sit or Stand?

Those clever Europeans have done it again... invented a product that doesn't make sense!





The No-mix toilet separates pee and poop at the source, rather than in the sewage treatment facility. Apparently, the nitrogen in urine is extremely hard to remove from the general sewage stream, and the sewage treatment process can be made much more efficient if urine is not present.





Okay, it kinda makes sense... but it will never fly in America. Here's why;





1. It requires all users to sit while urinating in order to work. American men won't do that. And the "hovering" maneuver that women do would mix it all up anyway!


2. It would require a tandem sewage pipeline, right? Or else, we'd be putting buckets of piss out with our green recycling bins? Ewe!


3. The energy savings at the processing plant would probably not be sufficient to cover the infrastructure requirements for many, many years.





America already has a technology that helps, and is becoming more and more commonplace... at least in men's rooms!
Waterfree urinals have only drains- no fresh water connection at all! There is a chamber in the bottom with a thick, gelatinous substance through which urine flows, and is trapped on the drain side. No flushing, no water, no smell! Boy Ginger has used these and they work extremely well!

Now, currently in the US, these units are drained into the same sewage systems as the rest of our garbage. But think about it- most of us spend most of our day away from home. We pee a few times at home, but most of our urine flows at work, or other public places.

So, a green-minded community COULD install dual sewage systems in densely populated downtown areas, or places like stadiums or shopping malls, where large numbers of people congregate and urinate. In the men's room, toilets would connect to the "dirty" sewage line, and the urinals would connect to the other. Perhaps the "No-mix" commode could be used in the ladies rooms, which I assume has separate sewage connections for each "function". Then, from these high-output zones, separate pipes would carry the pre-sorted waste to treatment facilities where it could be more efficiently processed!


And, it takes a Drag Queen to figure this out! I mean, who else uses both restrooms?!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Channel Your Inner Meana Garzilla!

Who says Marie Claire is the only place worthy of a fashion director? Miss Ginger's pretty sure we have at least 70 of them right here on TFBOFGG, and now, America's Favorite Department Store gives us a chance to prove just that!


Check out Macy's Fashion Director Sitelet to see what all the cool chics and dudes will be wearing this season, and enter the Daily Fashion Challenge to show the world all the great looks you can put together!




Now, as a highly skilled fashion professional, it would be unfair for Miss G to enter the contest against all the amateur fashonistas out there, but she has put together a couple of "looks" just to show you how cool the site is!




Today's Challenge was to "create a look to meet your ex for coffee." Miss G started by creating a look for Boy G. She wanted him to look youthful, spirited, and confident. She chose a pink Polo from Ralph Lauren, Seven for All Mankind Jeans, and Puma sneaks for a look that says "too busy and fun for you!" Boy G has an ex, and he could total rock this look at Starbucks with him!


Next, Miss Ginger created a look for herself! She has no exes, as she never ends a relationship! Even the biggest asshat on Earth may prove useful to her at some point in life! But, there's always room for one more, so Miss G started with a knock out Jones New York dress in electric blue, her signature color! Then, she added the sexiest ankle-strap stilletos she could find, and perfectly coordinated accessories to complete the ensemble!
Check out the site, and make a look or 2 for Miss Ginger! Please! And post a screen shot so we can all see your handiwork!

A Sad, Sad Day...


Cecilia, a 16-year companion to Made in Scotland and his Xfe, left our Earth last night.

And Nike, best friend to my best friend John in New Orleans, also passed on last night, with John at his side.












Miss Ginger is sobbing miserably for both of them right now!!!



Jackson and Shelby are remarkably quiet tonight.

Animals know so much more than we think they do...

Caption This:



P.S.: You may also vote for your favorite po-po popo!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tragedy!

Douglas Schantz was a Houston energy executive who, like Miss Ginger, loved the City of New Orleans and travelled there often. That's probably about as much as he and Miss G have in common: the love of a city and the spirit it represents. But really, isn't that enough?

The Houston Chronicle began following his story early Friday morning, when he didn't return to his hotel from a French Quarter bar crawl with his colleagues. For 4 days, police, private eyes, and coworkers combed the French Quarter trying to find anyone who might have seen him, or knew his whereabouts. Many suspected foul play, and hate against New Orleans spewed forth on the Chronicle Blogs about what a dangerous city it was, and how certainly he had met his fate at the hands of some evildoers.


Turns out, New Orleans is not the hell pit they imagined. Even in it's antiquity, the French Quarter is rife with surveillance cameras, and over the course of time, investigators were able to track his movement through the French Quarter. The last camera image of him shows his approach to the banks of the Mississippi, in a restricted area near the docks of the Steamboat Natchez. He never reappeared in the 4 hours of tape that followed.
Today, his body was found in the Mississippi river. No signs of foul play. No suicide note. No reason to think anything other than the guy got drunk, stumbled to the river, and fell in. Such a tragedy, really. Miss Ginger wonders where he thought he was going? And why he violated the restricted area. It's really sad, and Miss G's heart goes out to his family, friends, and coworkers. Really, just a tragic accident.
Yet, Miss G can't help but find herself angered at all the ASSHATS on Chron.com who had to leave comments about "the dangers of New Orleans." Apparently the most dangerous thing about New Orleans these days is that they overserve drunk people.
My heart breaks for his family, his friends, and his company. And my heart breaks for New Orleans.

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