The FABULOUS Blog of Miss Ginger Grant!

Queen Ginger Gets the Sadz.....

2012-01-20T20:17:00.000-06:00

when she learns that the TV world's greatest Southern chef is living with type 2 diabetes!

Queen Ginger can't help but love Paula Deen! She reminds the Queen SO MUCH of her dearly departed Momma G in so many ways! Just not so much the blue eyeshadow part!

Momma G kept her hair naturally white, like Paula. Momma G kept a coffee can of bacon grease on the kitchen counter. Momma G knew you can't make divinity when it's raining. And Momma G had type 2 diabetes.

And Momma G could cook up some of the best Southern dishes you ever laid a lip on!

Queen G has blogged about diabetes before, for that nasty disease has taken away too many people (and critters!) that she loved, and it's knocking' at her back door, as well!

The haters (and by haters I mean that asstit Anthony Boredom) have already started ragging on Paula, saying she should have revealed her diagnosis sooner, and that it's "in bad taste" for her to write cookbooks and host television programs heralding her delicious, if not someone unhealthy, cuisine while suffering from a disease likely caused by those foods!

Paula, in her own defense, claims that she never meant for anyone to eat her decadent specialties 365 days a year, which sounds fair, to this rather biased royal. Growing up in the South, it's not like we had a pecan pie every weekend, or fried shrimp once a month to celebrate payday! Think about it, people: the traditions of the South are rural. In the "old days" in the most of the rural South, there wasn't a hell of a lot to do, so people celebrated just about anything they could justify, and cooked special meals whenever they had the opportunity to get together with others,which really wasn't that often! To this day, Southern cooks "fix" their best recipes for visitors, and calories be damned when there's company coming!

Additionally, there's no proof that the foods "caused" her diabetes. While diet may play a part, and must be controlled to managed the disease, heredity and genetics could cause a person with the healthiest diet on earth to contract type 2 diabetes.

When Daddy G was first diagnosed with heart disease back in the 70's, it was hard for Momma G to part with her grease can, and her garlic salt, and her deep fryer- but she did it- not just for Daddy G, but for all of us. She learned to use olive oil instead of bacon grease; a "teflon pan" instead of an iron skillet; and the oven instead of a deep fryer. It may have been too little, too late, but she educated herself with fervor to learn what was rapidly being revealed back then about heart disease, high blood pressure, cholesterol, and the like.

We still got fried shrimp on our birthdays, and maybe a pecan pie at Thanksgiving, but we also learned to enjoy grilled chicken, broiled fish, and boiled shrimp. Just as, I'm sure, Paula's family does on a day to day basis!

So, go to hell, haters!! Paula is good people, and she makes good food, the traditional way. If that's a bad thing, Anthony Boredom, than you will have to prove it to me! Because I think Paula is a saint, and I hope someday, when her time on earth is done, she and Momma G have a chance to whomp up a big ole batch of fried shrimp together! I can hear their laughter in the kitchen from here!

A New Post From Princess Shelby...

2012-01-20T08:50:00.000-06:00

We STILL need ONE MORE!

2012-01-16T20:53:00.002-06:00

Don't ANY of you people have friends?!

Two Can Be the Loneliest Number!

2012-01-12T00:07:00.000-06:00

So, here's the deal: Queen Ginger has been doing this little blog for several years now, starting it back when she was just a princess! It's never been about "being a blogger" or "standing for" anything, it's just a little corner of the interwebz where a drag queen can be herself, speak her mind, have some fun, and make a few friends along the way. And oh, what friends she's made! Her blog friends, like her friends in life, are not huge in numbers, but they are great, like-minded people that she's thrilled to have in her life!

Some, she's met in person, like her dear, dear sister David Dust, along with crazy Cousin Maddie! On the west coast, she's got the Mermaid Momma, Creative Kailyn, and Fightin' Mad Mary! And covering the middle of the country, Nutwood Beth and Bucko. The more she thinks, the more she realizes she's met! Chicago Dan, and everyone's 2nd favorite drag queen, Amber LeMay. DJ Howard. Is she forgetting anyone? Oh, Sissy Mark! Who else....?

And there's still more to meet! Tug, and Auntie Flame, for sure! Smalltown Bob, and Mr. and Mrs. Miss Alaineous! The world is filled with GingerSnaps, and Queen G wants to meet them all! She's cooking up a few little round-ups around the country this spring, but tentatively we are looking at the 2nd weekend of Jazzfest in NOLA, the week after Easter in NYC, and a jaunt to the west coast sometime in May. Any takers?

Meanwhile, let's reel things back in to the point of this post! While Queen Ginger is all about quality, not quantity, she has realized that over these years, she has collected 98 wonderful, registered, card-carrying GingerSnaps, and for that she is truly grateful! But, she also realizes, this box is a couple of 'snaps shy of full! Wouldn't it be great to have an even 100?

She only needs 2 more!! C'mon, folks! If you've been reading, but you're not following, do a girl a favorite and set up a free google account so you can be an official "GingerSnap!" And, if you've got like-minded friends who might enjoy kicking back a few pinot grigios with the world's most entertaining drag queen, send 'em a link! The world can only be a more FABULOUS place for it!

Random Musings from Big Pink Ginger!

2012-01-10T22:53:00.000-06:00

#1- "Pink" makes an excellent party theme!

#2- Give a drag queen a microphone and she never shuts up. #3- Drag queens don't really need microphones!

#4- EVERYONE looks better dressed in pink, with pink lighting.

#5- Corrugated cardboard soaked in used cooking oil makes excellent chimney fuel. It burns all night. Trust!

Project Runway All-Stars- The Queen Opines1

2012-01-06T09:20:00.000-06:00

The long awaited (and FLAWLESSLY edited!) PRAS began with a bang last night, and we discovered that the producers have replaced Tim and Heidi as mentor and host!

Joanna Coles is certainly no Tim Gunn. She seemed to offer more snark and sarcasm than advice and support, which one would think I would enjoy, but I didn't. The fact that Tim is so lovable is what makes him, well, lovable. Watching Joanna is like having to kiss your aunt... on the lips. There's just nothing there, and it just seems wrong!

Tom and Lorenzo named the new hostess "Schmeidi" on twitter.... I think it fits her! Honestly, the Queen doesn't even know her real name to google a picture, so you'll have to look it up on the website if you must know! (She forever will be "Schmeidi" to me!) That dress she wore for the fashion show looked like it had an entire kindergarten's worth of half-sucked lifesavers stuck all over it. A little birdie told me it's a Mizrahi. Oops!

Speaking of Mizrahi, Queen G has decided that Michael Kors and Isaac Mizrable are pretty much interchangeable.

Put a mannequin in a black suit and pop on a crazy black wig and bad shoes: Voila! You have Isaac. Pluck off the wig, spray it orange, and add black aviators and boom- it's Michael. Actually, Isaac's brand of snark and commentary does seem gentler and more sincere!

As for the contestants, no surprises there, including the first loser. I remember Elisa being a freak, but she seems even more over the top freaky than her first season. Perhaps the drugs have had time to rot more brain cells.

Luckily, the contestants are entertaining enough to make up for the lack of sparkle from JC and Schmeidi. The first episode was definitely captivating enough to keep me watching, and probably making catty comments weekly right here on this blog! Keep watching!

WTF is It?!

2012-01-05T23:09:00.001-06:00

Not JUST a hoop skirt, dear DD!!

It's a pannier, an 18th century petticoat worn in the times of Marie Antionette to show the details and embellishments of an elaborate skirt. This motherfucker has consumed the Queens life for the last several months, and she is QUITE pleased to be finished with it, at last!

The inability to find a pattern , especially in the required "jumbo petite" is just the beginning of the difficulties! In ancient times, they were made of linen and whalebone. Have you GingerSnaps SEEN the price of whalebone lately, if you can find it at all? Joking aside, the polyester boning sold in fabric stores wouldn't begin to hold the structure of a hoop skirt this large, so the clever Queen found rolls and lengths of sprinkler pipe at the Home Depot that would provide the rigidity, flexibility, and light weight that the project required. Muslin is more practical than linen for something that's not to be seen, and trust, it breaks the Queen's heart that she has worked so long and hard on something that is to be covered up! Without a pattern, there was a lot of trial and error, cutting and recutting, and shoving and unshoving of those pipes so the whole thing could go through the machine! But now that's it's done, Queen Ginger couldn't be happier! It hangs straight and floats like a cloud, and at almost 9 feet from port to starboard, that's a feat in itself!

The whole thing will be covered in a gorgeous gown that Queen G has on one short month to create! Wish her luck- she's going to need it! And, if postings are light for a while, you'll know why! But if you can't stand another day with the Queen's snarky wit and humor, just check her out on Facebook- that's where you can usually find her, when she's not at the sewing machine!

Happy New Year's Eve!

2011-12-31T19:13:00.000-06:00

Queen Ginger is ready to do her holiday entertaining, right here at Chez Ginger! To all my loyal GingerSnaps out there: have a happy and safe celebration, and for gawd's sake use a designated driver- or a taxi!!

I'll have all the scoop on the party tomorrow!

No Fightin' Tonight!

2011-12-30T00:03:00.000-06:00

Boy G has long been a fan of Fightin' Mad Mary, with her tales of hikes in Fryman Canyon, pics of her adorable puppy Grace Jones, and travels with her handsome husband Q.

Finally, Boy G got to meet Mary and Q, and we had a great time!! Not only is Mary as charming, funny, and cute as she is on her blog, she is as sweet as can be! Boy G had never met an EMMY WINNER before, so he wasn't sure what to expect- god knows an Emmy would go straight to Miss Ginger's head! But Mary was so down-to-earth, and like most of the blog people he's met, it's like they've know each other forever!

We had a quick get acquainted visit, along with Mary's sister and her fiancé, and I look forward to visiting with them more, either on their trips here to visit Q's family, or with Queen G in tow to greet her ever-growing West Coast fan base! The Ginger's are thrilled to add Mary and Q to their list of "People We Have Met While Blogging!"

We FInd Our Bright Spots....

2011-12-28T21:50:00.000-06:00

For folks out there who think that the South is a vast wasteland of white trash and stupid people, I present 2 exhibits:

Exhibit "A" represents a mob of people crowding onto a Subway train in New York City- a daily mass transit image represented thousands of times over each day in the cities of the Northeast!

Exhibit "B" shows a line of Houstonians waiting patiently for their bus to arrive so they can board for their commute home. Yes, a line... a "queue".... "a line or sequence of people awaiting their turn..."

Sounds positively civilized, doesn't it?! Boy G sees it every night when he leaves the office and it always amazes him! No one is there telling them to line up, or threatening to arrest them if they are unruly or rude! Yet, each night, they arrive, take their place, and wait! No pushing, no shoving.... just waiting!

Sometimes it's great to be in the South!

There It Went!

2011-12-27T22:11:00.000-06:00

Christmas came and went in a flash... and it looks like we are in for a long winter!

The Ginger's had a small dinner with close friends and family, and before you knew it, the weekend was over and it was back the office for poor Boy G!

He's quite glad to have a job, however! Many in the industry are not faring as feel, as Sears Holdings announced today they will close 100-120 Sears and Kmart stores next year. While Queen Ginger NEVER shopped at Kmart (I don't even think we have them in Texas anymore), she does have many fond memories of going to Sears with Momma or Poppa G, to pick up a gadget or 2 for the kitchen or workshop. Whenever choosing appliances as a gift for Momma G, Poppa always looked for the "Sears Best" or "Lady Kenmore" label to ensure he was getting the top of the line! And Boy G still has a couple of Daddy's old Craftsman tools out in the garage. Growing up in a small Louisiana town back in the 60's, Sears was one of the few places we had to shop; Wallymart didn't take over the scene until the late 70's. And long before Amazon.com, if you couldn't find something you needed locally, your Momma ordered it from the Sear catalog! It seems so archaic now, to think you had to go to the store to place the order, wait weeks for it to come, and then go back to pick it up! Now, we click tonight and it's at our front door tomorrow!

Case in point: Queen G has finally become fed up with Microsoft and Blackberry! She became so sick of having to take the battery out her Blackberry 3 times a day to make it reboot, she finally ordered an iPhone! And having realized she has been through 5 Windows-based computers in the last 10 years, she has finally decided to switch to a Mac! She couldn't be happier with both! And, the Mac Mini made it from China to her doorstep in 2 short days!! Amazing! It's so cute- it takes up about as much space in her office as a router!

But her favorite part of all? iCloud!!! Every new Apple device comes with this remarkable feature, and Queen Ginger cannot begin to tell you just how remarkable it is! It's the holy grail of computing efficiency!

iCloud syncs everything you do, in real time, through thin air! Add a contact in your iPhone, and your contacts are automatically updated on your Mac and your iPad. Download a song using your iPad, and it appears in iTunes on your phone and your Mac. Type a document on your Mac, and refer to it from another state by pulling it up on any device! All without wires, or syncing, or connecting anything. I just works!

Apple, Mac Mini, the iPhone 4 S (more on Siri later!) and especially iCloud ALL earn Queen Ginger's coveted 5 lipsticks for being well designed, remarkably intuitive, and highly efficient!

Happy Birthday, Jeebus!

2011-12-23T07:54:00.000-06:00

blatantly stolen from Northwest Dan!

Good News!!

2011-12-22T22:22:00.000-06:00

Sort of!

The butt doctor said that Boy G does NOT have hemorrhoids! And, she said that was good news!

What Boy G has is an "anal fissure".

A fissure, as demonstrated by the photo above, is a crack in the surface. In the case of an anal fissure, it's a crack in the surface of one's crack. If you have the stomach for it, google "anal fissure" for the true picture. Queen G couldn't bear to post it!

The bad news is, an anal fissure is much more painful than hemorrhoids. This explains the throbbing, relentless, sleep-preventing pain that our poor Boy has been experiencing!

The good news is: the prognosis is much better! Fissures often heal on their own, but since this one has lasted 3 months, it's probably going to need some help! So, the doctor prescribed a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory to help with the pain and inflammation (the narcotics the Boy has been taking may actually make things worse!) and a compound containing nitroglycerin to help the thing heal. The nitroglycerin will improve circulation in the area to promote natural healing. If those haven't worked in about a month, the doctor may try a botox injection to help relax the area, again with the goal of giving the wound time to heal, and giving Boy G the smoothest, most wrinkle-free puckerhole in all of Texas!

Finally, if all else fails, the surgery for a fissure is much less invasive and much less painful than the surgery for hemorrhoids!

So, GingerSnaps, the message here is simple: be kind to your assholes! If something doesn't feel right, don't brave the pain: see your doctor! Don't be embarrassed! Think of it this way: your doctor sees more assholes in a day than most of us meet in a lifetime! Why should YOU be embarrassed about THAT?!

Sometimes the Queen is Slow on the Uptake!

2011-12-17T19:38:00.000-06:00

On occasion Queen Ginger Grant makes mistakes and when she does she will happily admit them. This is one of those rare occurrences!

Queen Ginger just can't believe she resisted getting an iPhone for so long. What the hell was she thinking?

Oh sure tug and anti-flame raved about theirs and talked about all the great features of the iPhone, but Queen Ginger wasn't having any of that. She was stuck in her BlackBerry rut, hopelessly defending that antiquated technology by repeating the ridiculous meme that is was better at corporate email. But in her own defense Tug and Auntie Flame never told the queen about Siri. Siri is what makes the iPhone more than just another phone!

Siri is the Queens new bitch- she does everything for the Queen! Siri takes notes, writes blogs, updates Facebook posts- the queen will never type again! She can also send all her notes, memos, and musings seamlessly to the clouds, to be retrieved by any of the Queens many iDevices- now that's teamwork!

If you've been holding out for an iPhone go ahead and give up now- save, scrimp, and screw to get one of your very own!

The iPhone definitely receives the queens coveted five lipsticks!

PS- she dictated this entire post into her iPhone!

It's Official!

2011-12-14T22:29:00.000-06:00

As all faithful GingerSnaps know: Miss Ginger will say just about ANYTHING! Many people think it's because she lacks adequate filters. But in truth, she has discovered, it's just in her DNA- all just part of being a REAL drag queen!

Queen Ginger Loves Her Job.....

2011-12-13T22:24:00.000-06:00

She does, really! Even though the hours get long and hard during the holidays, it's fun... and it makes her feel good about herself. And she's good at it! Really, she is!

There's only one problem with it: Christmas Music! I know, call her Scrooge- but really, try listing to that shit 8+ hours a day, every day, for 2 solid months! It's enough to make a sane person crazy... and Queen G is already half gone! There just aren't that many Christmas songs, so the loops are short, and the repetition is frequent!

And hence the problem: Queen Ginger has an extreme sensitivity to Earworms! Give her a catchy jingle and lilting melody and she'll hum the motherfucker all day long! And EVERY Christmas song has a catchy jungle and a lilting melody! Gahhhhhhhhhhh! Make it STOP!!!

Years past have had some doozies! She's been haunted by the likes of Natalie Cole, Ella Fitgerald, even Kay Star!

This year's worm is particularly noxious- and she CAN'T stop singing it! Really, what's not to love about DORIS DAY?!!

Assholes.

2011-12-10T18:21:00.000-06:00

In this post, as she is often wont to do, Miss Ginger will talk about a subject many people find disagreeable: assholes!

No, not this kind of asshole:

Nor this:

or even this:

No, dear GingerSnaps, Miss G is going to talk about this kind of asshole:

That's right, folks... the old poop chute... the starfish.... the rosebud...

We all have one, and we all use it for pretty much the same functions. A few clever GingerSnaps out there may have discovered that it's also useful for another function, and Miss Ginger commends those folks for their discovery. This post however, shall focus on the primary function- the elimination of solid waste from the human body. (I'm sure many of you have just breathed a sigh of relief, and the others among you just wrinkled your noses and made that "I just smelled a fart" face!) Bear with me, here!

The asshole that we so take for granted is really just the service exit for what is a pretty remarkable system that god has created to fuel the human machine. Most of us focus on the beautiful entry door:

the tummy (especially when it gets rumbly!)

and even the nether regions, when they become thunderous:

The much maligned and forgotten asshole, as part of a pretty remarkable digestive team, functions along with his partner, the rectum, to lock down a hermetic seal on the whole smelly mess, much to the joy and pleasure of all humankind!

Queen Ginger first learned her healthy respect for the "lower digestive team" when Poppa G lost his to cancer. His colon cancer led to the dreaded "colostomy", and let me tell you, friends, nothing will make you love your asshole like watching someone you love lose theirs! That's when the Queen learned first hand just what a smelly, caustic mess that thing shields us from, and began her lifelong fate of frequent colonoscopies to ensure hers doesn't meet the same demise.

It was at her last colonoscopy that the doctor confirmed what Miss G already knew- "you colon looks great... all I see is a few little hemmorhoids near the rectal opening." To add insult to injury, she added "they're probably too small to do anything about."

Too small? If hemorrhoids feel like someone drove a Cadillac up your ass (truly, they do!) then here's what just pulled into Queen G's royal palais:

They became so bad that Queen G finally had to go see "Doctor Downplay", who is completely unalarmed by any symptom Queen G presents, except her weight. Apparently, big girls scare him! It went something like this:

QG: I'm miserable. It hurts like hell all the time, and throbs so much at night that it wakes me up.

DD: You know you got them because you are a big fat pig.

QG: I know! But I've tried everything- creams, suppositories, gels, ointments, voodoo...

DD: If you weren't such a big fat pig they would probably go away on their own.

QG: I get it. But if I can't move from the pain, there's not much chance of me losing weight any time soon.

DD: Well, I understand that. But if you don't lose some weight, you're going to die of a heart attack, so hemorrhoids will be the least of your worries.

QG: You're an asshole. Fix mine!

So, after a few questions, he decides he needs to see this for himself. One would have thought all hemorrhoids look pretty much the same, but apparently not. More lovely conversation:

DD: So I see one here on the outside. Does it itch?

QG: A bit. But that's the least of my issues. It's the ones inside that hurt.

DD: What does it feel like?

QG: Like someone broke a Coke bottle in my ass. A hot Coke bottle that been on a sunny beach all day. Covered with sand.

DD (with a sinister snap of a rubber glove): I'm going to need to feel the ones inside.

QG: Uh, that's not going to work.

DD: What do you mean?

QG: I will scream bloody murder if you try to do that to me right now.

DD: Put your face in the pillow and bear down like you're trying to poop.

QG: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

DD: Wow! That IS big.

QG: Call me tomorrow?

After very brief discussion, it was determined that Queen G will see a surgeon:

DD: Do they hurt badly enough to do something about it.

QG: I called you, didn't I?

DD: True. But the only options are surgical, and they are very painful.

QG: At least that pain will be finite. If I have to live with this much longer I will jump off a bridge. Or kill someone.

DD: I'm typing the referral.

SO, Queen G has been googling the various and sundry procedures from which the surgeon will choose. Will she get:

Rubber Bands?

Staples?

A laser?

Or just good, old-fashioned knives?

Stay tuned, dear GingerSnaps, for the next episode of "As the Ass Burns"!

PS: Is ANYONE still reading?

Methinks He Doth Protest Too Much...

2011-12-09T07:50:00.000-06:00

You go, gurl!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Elimination Challenge!

2011-12-08T20:45:00.000-06:00

(Okay, commenters: get ready! Miss Ginger is really throwing you a bone with this one! )

Hey reality TV fans: over the past few months, Miss Ginger has had some "elimination challenges" of her own. These past few weeks have been dreadful, and this week, things have become so bad she has had to call the doctor!!

Rest assured, she has tried just about every OTC product on the shelf!!

This hasn't helped:

nor this:

or even that old standby, this:

Now, Miss Ginger herself has told her share of hemorrhoid, Preparation H, and suppository jokes over the years, but she assures you, dear GingerSnaps, this is no laughing matter! The pain is intense and constant! It keeps her up at night, and makes it painful to sit, stand, walk, or lie down- and there aren't a whole lot of other choices, lest she can learn to float in mid air!

So tomorrow our gurl gets to go to the doc and put her feet in the stirrups so he can try to figure out what's going on. You KNOW she had to be miserable to have made THAT appointment!

So, dear 'snaps, there ya go- comment fodder like Miss G has never before lobbed across the plate to you before. Please, don't disappoint!

Groovy!

2011-11-25T16:10:00.000-06:00

A recent post by uber-blogger David Dust reminded me of the cool things we had in the 70's that are now obsolete!

Who was born after 1980 that can identify all of these items?

Who the hell does Queen Ginger think she's kidding? No one born after 1980 reads this blog!

Did she stump ANYONE?

I SURVIVED BLACK FRIDAY 2011!!!

2011-11-25T10:40:00.000-06:00

Queen Ginger forgot to bring her camera, but I assure you, scenes like this were prevalent throughout the land as folks swarmed the malls at midnight to make "Black Friday" the newest phenomenon to hit the shopping universe!

Part of the Queen's professional role was to check out the competition, so she check out Target, Kohl's, and many others, and there were lines like she's never seen as people waited patiently to get their sweaters, electronics, and the item of the year: the triple slow cooker!

Apparently, everyone in the world needs to cook three things at a time all day long!

Luckily, the crowds here in Texas didn't go crazy like they did in the state that invented crazy!

How was Black Friday in your neck of the woods? Did anybody brave it?

How Will You Cook YOUR Turkey?

2011-11-24T12:11:00.000-06:00

When Did "Black Friday" Become a Holiday?

2011-11-22T22:15:00.000-06:00

So, when did Black Friday become its own holiday? The day after Thanksgiving has traditionally been discussed by retail executives as "black" Friday because that is the day when profit margins turn in their favor, and supposedly the ink on their balance sheets turns from red to black. That's great industry shorthand, but is it REALLY a word you want to advertise to customers?

All the big retailers are doing it- Kohl's, Penney's, Target... even the greatest retailer on the planet is doing it:

Meanwhile, this is how most in the retail industry are feeling about it:

http://youtu.be/GYhWqKng39s

So, who's going shopping on Friday?

Another Caturday Night....

2011-11-19T20:12:00.000-06:00

.. and it's just me and Shelby! At least her box is clean!

A Tale of Two Cities!

2011-11-12T00:02:00.000-06:00

Miss Ginger's travels have taken her to two cities this weekend, and so far, both have been a delight!
She started the trip with a couple of days of duty in Baton Rouge, but this week, instead of staying in the run down Marriott with the terrible freeway noise, Queen G and her coworkers stayed at the brand new Renaissance Baton Rouge, which was a truly lovely experience!

The ultra-modern lobby is the first inkling that the hotel is something special, and the bar, restaurant, and guest rooms don't dissapoint, either! Subtle local touches, like the use of an alligator hide motif on wallpaper, textiles, and other surfaces, along with custom designed "cajun dictionary" wallpaper in the guest bathrooms, allow the hotel to maintain a clean, modern feel while winking at the traditions and motifs of the market! Queen Ginger had not previously stayed in a Renaissance property, but will certainly seek them out in the future!

After her work week in BR, the Queen retired to her beloved NOLA for a weekend of R&R with her favorite cousin JC, who had just spent a week doing a volunteer stint with Habitat for Humanity.

Due to limited availability and late booking, the Queen's was forced to splurge and book a luxury hotel she has always wished to experience, and so far she has not been dissapointed!

The Roosevelt has long been among the crown jewels of American hotels, and like many of them, has seen good days and bad.. Built in 1893 as the Grunewald Hotel on the site of the former state capitol (it was at one time in New Orleans), the building has long stood as a bastion of lavish Southern hospitality. In 1923, a rennovation brought a new tower and a new name, and the Roosevelt was created, whose lobby stretched an entire city block! From University Place to O'Keefe Street, the ornate lobby led (and still leads) to such famous American landmarks as The Blue Room and the Sazerac Lounge. In 1965, it was purchashed and renamed by Fairmont Hotels, until 2005, when Fairmont sold the flood damaged properties to Dimension Development, who restored the grand jewel and contracted the venerable Waldorf-Astoria chain to oversee and manage the property.

The famous Sazerac bar actually did not become part of the Roosevelt until 1949, when the owner contracted to move it into the Roosevelt, and allowed female patrons for the first time. This famous vintage photo shows women "storming the Sazerac" for the first time, and was quaintly recreated for the grand opening of the new Roosevelt in 2010

The Roosevelt, and the Sazerac Bar, are truly among the many treasures in New Orleans, and must certainly be a part of your next trip to this vibrant, newly-energized city!

Tonight, You Can!

2011-11-06T01:02:00.000-06:00

Classic reminders to set your clocks back 1 hour!!

Queen Ginger Waxes Politic....

2011-10-30T22:05:00.000-05:00

The Queen is finding herself to be alarmingly political this year... much more so than ever before. She thinks it a bit odd, really, to be so interested in things political. In college, she found the poli-sci majors to be the most boring of the nerds, and did her best not to invite them to parties lest they spoil the fun and bring their downer views around to cancel out everyone's excellent "mood stabilizers". But this year, for some reason, she kinda smells what they were stepping in!

Maybe it's the parade of ~~mormons~~ morons coming from the far right....

Maybe it's the horribly ill-fated attempt by the worthless Governor of my own bankrupt state to gain a spot on the ballot:

Maybe it's the "we're not gonna take it anymore" spirit of my friends on the left who are making their voices heard:

And maybe it's Queen Ginger's newfound confidence in her own personal spirituality...

Regardless of the cause, Queen Ginger has become more and more irritated by people who will not think for themselves, and insist on aligning with a movement, or defining themselves as a member of a party, without thinking about what they are saying!

Case in point: "tea party" acquaintances who want to support the Republican party's stance on government regulation, and scorn the "Occupy" movements as extremist. Queen G wants to scream at them: "BITCH! You work at Wal-mart- you are NOT part of their 1%!!"

Another one that floors the Queen: people who want to label themselves as "fiscally conservative, socially liberal". Honey, that's like labeling yourself a "Jewish-Christian"- it ain't gonna work!! The fact that Republicans want to paint liberals as fiscally irresponsible just burns Queen G's biscuit! Those of us who want social liberty don't expect to gain it by bouncing checks all over the world- we just want to spend the wealth of our country, still the richest nation in the world, on things that will benefit ALL people in our nation, not just the ones living on Park Avenue or Boardwalk!

Queen Ginger has said all along that she will do just about anything to keep Rick Perry out of the White House, and it's looking more and more like she's going to make good on that promise. Even with Obama's popularity at a relatively low position, the Republicans may make this the easiest reelection any Democrat has ever seen!

How About a Nice Slice Of....

2011-10-22T00:18:00.000-05:00

October 22nd is National Pie Hole Day! You'd better make sure your comments have the phrase "pie hole" in them!

GingerSnaps: Meet Fiona!!

2011-10-20T23:57:00.000-05:00

If you've not heard of Fiona, Queen Ginger is working hard to change that! As you may have read here, her friend Fiona Dawson entered a contest to get her own show on a little known, relatively unwatched new network. (Just kidding, Momma O!) That attempt was ill-fated, but Fiona's determination to make it happen was not, and she soldiered on to find a way to celebrate diversity and open the world's eyes to everyday miracles that people are accomplishing to end discrimination! So moved was the Queen by Fiona's pitch and passion that she made a small donation to her campaign on Kickstarter to help her find a way to produce the show herself, and with that seed money, Fiona was able to travel to India to visit a hostel for women who are rescued from the red-light district in Mumbai, where they had been sold into prostitution. She filmed miles of footage, and is ready to pitch the show to production companies and television executives to find a partner to produce the episodes. Take a look at her pitch reel:
Fiona Sizzle Reel from Fiona Dawson on Vimeo.

So, whaddya say, GingerSnaps? Does this look like a show that would interest you? Queen Ginger thinks Fiona's positive, fresh take on the GOOD things people are doing to END the oppression of discrimination is what sets this show apart from any others on the air!

So, in support of Fiona's efforts, the Queen herself is throwing open the gates of the palace to host a little cocktail party in Fiona's honor! At the party, Fiona will explain what she is accomplished so far, what still needs to be done, and what her friends and supporters can do to help her make this lifelong dream a reality! Being new to the American television scene, she looking for advice, contacts, leads, introductions, or any other "insider tips" she can get to help move the project forward. Since she probably will need to produce a full episode up front in order to pitch the series, she will also be making an offer to potential investors who may wish to support her endeavor.

If you are interested in attending the party, hit up Queen G for an invite! And if you've got advice, contacts,or just words of encouragement for Fiona's efforts, leave them in the comments or email them here and we'll get them into the proper hands!

Take care, and love to all!

When Is a Blender not a Blender?

2011-10-15T20:56:00.000-05:00

When it is a SOUPMAKER! When Queen Ginger first saw the Cuisinart® Blend and Cook® Soup Maker, she knew it was perfect for a Consumer Product Review®! At $200, would a blender with heating elements REALLY be worth the money? Inquiring GingerSnaps want to know, and so does Queen G, so she bought it and headed home to test it out!

You may ask "Queen Ginger, why not just open a can of soup and pop it in the microwave?" Well, dear 'Snaps, I suppose you could, but have you read the nutrition label on most canned soups? They are mostly salt, with some fat stirred in, and enough little cubes of ingredients to give the soup a name. They are delicious, but terrible for you! And the so called "healthy" soups just taste, well, healthy. Homemade soups are relatively easy to make at home, but can be a bit of a mess by the time you use a blender, and perhaps a food processor, and a pot on the stove- that pretty much leaves you cleaning the whole kitchen! Wouldn't it be nice if you could do it all in one unit that can just pop into the dishwasher?

First, a little about the machine itself. It looks for all the world like a regular blender, although when you compare it to a regular blender, it's a bit taller, and the bottom of the jar is somewhat wider than most. There is a knob to control the blend functions, buttons to control the cooking temperature, and a timer that must be set in order for the elements to heat. The blending and cooking functions cannot be operated at the same time, but there is a "stir" function that will turn the blades at a slow speed while cooking to mix the ingredients. The jar and lid can go into the dishwasher, and the blade unit with the heating plate is easy enough to rinse clean in the sink. Used without the heating elements, it can be used just like a regular blender to make margaritas. Or margaritas. You could even make a pitcher of margaritas! Aside from that, Queen Ginger has found most blenders to be relatively useless... until now!

Queen Ginger had not sent a waif to the grocery store in ages, but she managed to find a recipe right there in the book to make with ingredients she had on hand! She had an onion, some dried lentils, and a couple of carrots that were just beginning to get a bit flabby, but hey, that's another great thing about making soup: you can use vegetables that are a bit too ripe to serve raw or whole, but no quite putrid enough for the compost heap! Queen G just loves a chance to be green!

The process for most soups starts, like all things delicious, with a bit of fat and some onions. Here you can see the ~~butter~~ cholesterol-free margarine sizzling in the bottom of the jar as it melts, which only takes a couple of minutes.

Once the margarine melts, the onions go in. Cut them into 1/2" pieces, and drop them in. A few pulses of the "stir" button breaks them up a bit more and distributes the butter.

The lentils are added, with some of the Queens delicious and healthful homemade stock that she put away last spring, and seasonings over which Queen G has complete control! She used Tony Cachere's Lite: Nothing unhealthy in this bowl!

After about 30 minutes cooking and a few "stirs", the soup was just the way the Queen likes it: rich, with a bit of spice, and recognizable lentils. The stirring process broke them up enough to make the soup creamy, but no so much that the soup was smooth. If one prefers smooth soup, a few whirls in the "blend" mode and that's what they'd have!

The soup turned out delicious! It made about 4 cups of soup, and since that was the main part of Queen G's meal, she had 2 cups for dinner, and saved 2 cups for lunch the next day. It was just as good the next day, and the machine makes it so easy, she could see herself making several batches of different soups on Sunday to have a week's worth of lunches at the ready! Next on her list of recipes to try: Asparagus and Leek Soup, and Cream of Broccolli. Don't think it only makes cream soups, however! There are recipes for Pasta e Fagioli, and Chicken Noodle, too; the texture of the soup is all according to the order in which you add the ingredients and when you blend the "base".

Queen Ginger is going to give the Cuisinart® Blend and Cook® Soupmaker 4 lipsticks! While it certainly is an appliance once could survive without, it does make it easy to take control over your own nutritional destiny. It's easy to use, easy to clean, and does what the package says it will do!

Ah, Youth!

2011-10-14T09:24:00.000-05:00

When one of us would say something with youthful exuberance or naivete, Momma G would say "Ah, youth! It's wasted on the young!" She probably would not have sad that about this sign; she, like many posters on facebook, would probably congratulate this young person, and herald them as exemplary among today's youth. If Queen Ginger had remained in the small southern town where she was raised, she might think the same thing!

But lucky for Queen G, she moved to the big city! She has seen a little bit of the world outside the US. And she has met many friends and acquaintances who have opened her eyes to such naivete!

Queen Ginger would love the opportunity to pose a few questions to this smug, overconfident young graduate:

1. Do you suppose you would be so smug if you had contracted a debilitating disease or developed a devastating handicap? Do you think you could work 30 hours and week and carry all that course load if you came down with mono? Hepatitis? Pneumonia? All three are common in the tight environment of college campuses and take you out for an entire semester.

2. How do you think you would handle 30 hours a week and all of that course load with a child to raise? Along with bathing, feeding, educating, nurturing, studying, working, and trying to get a few winks of sleep, do you supposed you would have time to pen signs to post on the internet?

3. What would you do if your parents, a sibling, or another loved one took gravely ill and needed your care and attention? Would you be by your families side in their time of need, and perhaps their last days on earth, or would your midnight shift at IHOP be more important to you?

4. What do you think would happen if the companies who funded those scholarships you covet had a financial crisis and failed? Do you think fulfilling their scholarships would be their first priority?

You've been very lucky, you little shit- and don't you EVER take that for granted!! Otherwise, the sign you are holding may look more like this:

A Royal Observation....

2011-10-09T19:40:00.000-05:00

As Boy G was going through drawers and closets trying to make some sense of the Palace, Queen G came across the set of plugs that go with her cell phone, and they got her to thinking. Scary when that happens, huh?

So here they are, for comparison. The one on the left, with it's heavy-duty looks and ample design, is the British standard. To Queen Ginger, it seems kind of fitting, really. Almost orthopedic looking, like QE II's footwear! It looks like it could withstand a bombing, which may be why the Brits built it to be so substantial!

In the center is the rather delicate "Europlug", used extensively across the ~~United States of Europe~~ the European Union. Rather demure in design, this plug has surely been the bane of every American tourist who has ever tried to use it with a converter to charge a cell phone, read their email, or dry their hair! The outlets are slightly recessed to provide some slight hope to Europeans that their appliance will actually stay plugged in, and this makes it even harder to try to plug in a voltage converter, an adapter plug, and then the big block plug that charges whatever it is you've depleted. And don't EVEN get Queen G started on what it's like to try to keep all of that connected on a smelly Italian train! She's pretty sure this design was developed by the French, as a way to discourage American tourism across the Continent!

Finally, on the right is the familiar plug used in North America. Rather small and diminutive by comparison, this plug appears to be designed for cheap manufacture and throw-away design. Interestingly enough, this is also the outlet that Japan adopted, which seems to prove the Queens point, don't you think? The best feature of the American plug, however, is the 2 little divots on each side of the blade, which mate with matching bumps inside outlet, which will keep your appliance firmly plugged until it's time to replace it in, say, a year or 2!

Queen Ginger leaves you, as always, with a question to ponder. How is it that Australia got their own plug, instead of the British one? And why did her cell phone not come with a plug for there?

A Blast From the Past!

2011-10-09T00:41:00.000-05:00

These didn't seem nearly as cheesy 20 years ago!

Fall Cleaning?

2011-10-07T18:51:00.000-05:00

While Princess Shelby enjoys her little romp in the fall leaves, Boy G has decided he cannot stand another moment of Miss G's clutter- something must be done!

It all started when Queen G had to haul all of her stuff down to the dining room table to make her new fall frock, since she couldn't even GET to the sewing nook in her closet! Boy G had enough, so he started sorting, pitching, and organizing! It took two days to rifle through dresses, jewelry and other unmentionables to get our gurl (mostly) back in order!

Boy G was actually quite surprised that he was able to mate up all of the earrings except for one, and he hasn't given up hope on that one! As he emptied all of her finery from the jillions of ziplock bags that contained it, he sorted it into these nifty little containers that have adjustable compartments to keep the earrings together and the necklaces untangled. Each layer contains a specific color of jewelry, and Miss G can pop out only the colors that match her outfits for the night, and take them along without having to haul the whole collection! She so enjoys selecting the perfect stone to match her outfit, so play along with me and don't let on that you know they are all paste!

Once the jewelry was done, it was easy to sort through the rest of the various and sundry accessories she uses to accent her wardrobe, and Boy G labeled them boldly so she can find what she's looking for, even without her glasses.

After that was all cleaned up, Boy G poured himself a stiff cocktail and took on the biggest project yet- her makeup box! This is the Queen who has collected every free gift-with-purchase from every cosmetic brand that ever cluttered a counter, so he knew the project was going to be a big one! Plus, he knew she had her stuff scattered through every drawer and cabinet in the bathroom, as well, so he'd really have to go through all of to get it all together!

Now, Boy G thought he would have an easy time finding the expiration dates on all of the Queens products, but guess what: in the US, "cosmetics" don't have to have an expiration date printed on them! "Drugs" and "medicines" do, but not cosmetics. (Incidentally, I am of the opinion that the cosmetic companies have lobbied for this to save money!) A quick internet search brought up lots of dissenting information, depending upon who published the info, but basically, we discovered that the closer a product is used to mucous membranes, and the more liquid its form, the shorter it's useful life. It doesn't last long once the package is opened!

Here are some guidelines developed by the Queen herself:

Liquid eyeliner and mascara- 6-8 months. Here's a trick to making mascara stay fresh longer- after the first use, break the wand off and throw it away. Then, use disposable wands from the beauty supply store to prevent transferring bacteria from your eyes to the tube. Ditto for liquid eyeliner- use the package brush only once, then break it off and toss it. A quality reusable liner brush will give you more control and can be washed and sanitized. These tips are especially important for a group of drunk drag queens who tend to share everything!
Eye pencils and shadows- 8-18 months. Each time you sharpen a pencil you are giving it a sanitary point, so as long as the color stays creamy you are probably okay. Remember to put the cap back on to make it last longer! Use disposable wands for shadows, and ditch them when they dry and crack.
Lipsticks and lip pencils- 6-12 months. Lipstick will stay sanitary longer if you use a clean lip brush to apply it, instead of wiping the stick on your lips... but really, who does that? When it loses it's fragrance, it's probably time to ditch it.
Foundations- 12-24 months. Cake and powder foundations last the longest; liquid foundations spoil the fastest. If the cake has flaked and cracked, toss it. If the liquid has separated or lost it's fragrance, it's time to ditch it, as well.
Lotions, creams, and cleansers- 6-12 months. Lotions with natural oils, such as almond, jojoba, etc, will spoil fastest. As the oils become rancid, they will change the fragrance of the product, and it should be discarded.

Once the cosmetics were cleared out, Boy G went through the drawers and cabinets to ditch all of the old cold medicines, pain relievers, and vitamin supplements that were past their expiration dates. He was certainly surprised by how much old stuff he had- some of which he had been using!

After hauling 2 cans full of old stuff to the dumpster, Boy G organized all of the rest of the Queens stuff by use and color. Now, she can get her face on and be out the door in a flash!

When was the last time you went through your stuff? Better question- what's the expiration date on the aspirin bottle in YOUR medicine cabinet?

It's Finally Fall in the South!

2011-10-03T19:08:00.000-05:00

Now, don't be thinking we're putting on sweaters, or raking leaves, or anything CRAZY like that!! Here on the Gulf Coast, "Fall" simply means the end of an infernal, humid-as-hell, seemingly endless summer, and the arrival of more moderate temperatures and a humidity level several notches below "sweaty". Lately, our nighttime temps have dropped to the 60's, with a daytime high of about 85, with an extremely comfortable 30% humidity!

Queen Ginger was REALLY reminded of Fall in Louisiana when her business trip took her down I-10, from Baton Rouge to Lafayette. As she drove through the old plantation country, she saw truckloads of sugarcane going one direction, with truckloads of bagasse and tankers of syrup going the other!!

In the "old days", cane and bagasse were hauled by train, and every Fall, Momma G would reminisce about the cane trains coming by Aunt Nen's property, and Momma and her friend would wave to the conductor, who would throw them pieces of the sweet, stringy cane, already peeled and ready to chew! Nowadays, most the cane is hauled by truck, and there's a lot more bagasse to haul than their used to be!

For those not "in the know", bagasse is the by-product of sugar production. Basically, it's the fibrous stems of the sugar cane that are left after they are pulverized to remove all of the sugar-rich juice. Perhaps one of the original biofuels, bagasse made the sugar plantations some of the most efficient industries in the world at the time, because the bagasse was burned in furnaces to boil the sugar down into syrup and provide the heat for the refining and crystallization processes. Today, most Louisiana processors create syrup from their cane, which is trucked to crystallization plants around the country. This preserves the bagasse to be sold for more modern uses. Today, bagasse is used to create paper, biofoam plates and cups, fuel pellets for home heating, and recently, scientists at Louisiana's ag schools have even developed liquid biofuels from bagasse!

And worry ye not that the poor folks of the South don't have the delicious smell of burning leaves to celebrate Fall- we have our own version! Sugar cane is a 2-year crop, and typically, what is planted in the spring is harvested in 18 months, the following October. A farmer can get a couple of good harvests out of a field of canes, and then, he must replace them to maintain a good yield. After harvesting the last crop from a set of roots, the farmer will set the field afire, to burn the stubs and roots into carbon, which he will then till into the soil to provide additional nutrients to next years crops! More efficiency, and the fragrance of the burning fields can be smelled for miles- our own version of burning leaves! The burning also keep the rodent and reptile population in check, lest the farm become overrun with those nasty creatures!

My next post will cover another South Louisiana Fall tradition, and I recenlty saw Nutwood Beth's post about making apple butter. What are the Fall celebrations and traditions in your neck of the woods?

The Red-Headed Woman in the Middle...

2011-09-14T21:39:00.000-05:00

seems particularly offended by the term "shame-fisted"... just sayin'!

'nuf Said!

2011-09-13T19:43:00.002-05:00

Terror in the Royal Mews!

2011-09-06T14:51:00.000-05:00

Lena Lincoln was viciously attacked by a savage garage door this morning in the carriageway, and Queen Ginger is almost certain it was a hate crime! That door has been nothing but trouble since it came to the palace, and it's had a real distaste for SUV's since it lost a battle with Tallulah Tahoe during Hurricane Ike!

Anyway, there was Lena, gracefully lowering her tailgate in her stately, coy way, when out of no where, this garage door came barreling down it's tracks like it's late for a meal! Poor Lena never saw it coming, and her tail became inextricably pinned by the hinge of the door! By the time she wiggled loose, that door had made a gaping scratch down her backside! It was an expensive lesson for our girl and the Queen alike, but now we both know to make sure Lena's tail is securely tucked before we drop gates on the palace for the night!

Lena was obviously quite shaken by the ordeal, but no one was more distraught than the Queen! We always hate to see our children in pain, but especially at such a young, innocent age!

Royal business avails, and the Queen will be quite busy for the next couple of weeks while we wait for the swelling to go down. At that point, the Queen can take her in for a little plastic surgery, and no one will be the wiser! Meanwhile, Lena is wearing her dark glasses and keeping a low profile- she doesn't want this all caught up in the paparazzi!

There Comes a Time....

2011-08-30T23:26:00.000-05:00

...when the most royal of carriages has seen it's better days and must be retired! All those years roaming the roads of the baronies take its toll on the old girl's body... and it's tough on her coach, as well!
When Queen Ginger procured her last carriage, she thought it extremely fancy with an XM radio and a cruise control, but she has discovered that the newest carriages have some advanced safety features that no Queen should live without! These things are more life-saving than the Royal Guard!! So, when your next carriage bites the dust, be sure your new ride has these important safety features!

Queen Ginger knew that new cars offered back-up cameras, but what she didn't know was how effective they are, or how much safer they make one feel! Now, in addition to 2 side mirrors and a rear-view mirror, a driver has a fourth view of the road, directly behind the vehicle! If Mrs. Gichraux had that on her Mercury Comet back in 1974, a young Princess Ginger's gold Schwinn might not have been crushed to an untimely death on the neighbor's driveway! Luckily, our dear Princess was not on it at the time!

Two other features that our Queen has recently learned about have already proven to be incredibly valuable!

Using radar, today vehicles can actually detect moving traffic in the driver's blind spot! Long before a passing vehicle reaches the range of a driver's mirror, much less their peripheral vision, Blindspot Lane Information Systems alert the driver to passing traffic with an indicator light on the side view mirror corresponding to the oncoming traffic. If you've ever tried to change lanes on a busy freeway, you know how difficult it can be to find a safe opportunity to enter the next lane!

Additionally, detectors on the sides of the car activate when the car is in reverse, creating a Crosstraffic Detection System. If another vehicle is moving toward the car in a perpendicular position from either side, a cabin tone warns the driver. This is incredibly handy in Queen Ginger's rather short carriageway, where she is oft-honked-at while trying to back out, fasten her seatbelt, and close the garage door while putting on mascara and touching up her lipstick!

Finally, did you know that modern carriages actually offer voice command, not only to operate functions of the vehicle, but many of the Queen's personal accouterments as well? At the sound of her command, Queen Ginger can direct Lena Lincoln to cool the cabin, change the radio station, or guide her to the nearest Arby's! Not only that, Lena is so intuitive she can also control the Queen's crackberry, her iPad, and several other must-have devices that today's busy Queens take everywhere! No more fumbling in her handbag while driving, only to miss an important call from one of her loyal subjects! Lena connects with the Queen's phone as soon as she tosses her tiny little handbag on the front seat, and stands vigil, ready to broadcast a call over the stereo or send it to voicemail as the Queen commands. She can even convert an incoming text message to voice, so the Queen can stay in touch without taking her eyes off the road!

Of course, our Queen never actually DOES any of these things- she has "people" to handle all of that! But she COULD, if she WANTED to... it just wouldn't be, well, Royal- ya know?!

Her Royal Carriage Awaits...

2011-08-28T09:10:00.000-05:00

... and she shall be christened, and known for now and evermore as HRC Lena Lincoln V!!!

Could there be a more fitting name for a mocha-colored beauty of mixed heritage?

I think not!

Let's hope this beautiful ride ages as well as her namesake did!

Help Name the Royal Carriage!

2011-08-27T12:26:00.000-05:00

The naming of a Royal Carriage is serious business! This task is not to be taken lightly, for the Queen must depend upon this Royal conveyance for both her State Affairs and the day-to-day management of her Kingdom! Many stately coaches have come before her, so Her Royal Carriage V must have a name even more powerful and important than her most memorable ancestors! (HRC III Sally Silverado can be seen in the background!)

There is specific protocol that MUST be followed in the naming of a Royal Coach!
1. All identities must begin with the "HRC" nomenclature, identifying the vehicle as both a Royal Carriage and a supporter of equal treatment for all!
2. The title must alliterate. (google it, Maddie!) This is a long-standing tradition among Royal Carriages and must be followed!
3. The values of the machine's origins should be respected. Ethnic and cultural heritage should be evident in the naming.

That being said, we have a couple of "technical difficulties", but Queen Ginger is confident that her GingerSnaps are up to the task!

First, her actual "given" name is quite unwieldy. "MKX" is a rather unfortunate birth name, but we Royals have dealt with that for years! I mean, "Shlesweig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg" doesn't have nearly the ring of, say, "Windsor", now does it? Perhaps we can focus on the name given by her father's side of the family, whose honesty and integrity shape the history of our country!

Secondly, she, like many Royals, is a bit of a "mutt". While she carries a decidedly American surname, she was actually assembled in Canada. And judging by the color of her skin, I'm pretty sure my dearly departed King Daddy would say she appears "to have a little cream in her coffee!"

So, what's it gonna be, dear GingerSnaps? Leave your recommendations for the new carriage's name in the comments!!

Incredibly Busy!!

2011-08-27T00:21:00.000-05:00

WTF?! Queen Ginger is just not important enough to be THIS busy!!!
So much has been going on that Lady G just doesn't know where to begin!

First of all, it had been HEINOUSLY hot here in Texas this summer! And DRY!! In this soggy, humidity-ridden part of the state, we have actually been asked to ration water and reduce our dependence on electrical energy! The City of Houston has given us specific watering days (Sunday and Thursday for you detail queens!) and ERCOT has warned of record weekend usage, possibly requiring rolling blackouts over the weekend! How will Miss G dry her luxurious red hair?

Additionally, social obligations have been off the charts! It started with the HRC Gala at the beginning of the summer, and it hasn't let up yet! Last weekend was the Krewe's Trash Disco Party, and Queen G is STILL soaking her feet from all of that "boogying" and such!

On top of the social obligations, Boy G has been INSANELY busy at work, all in a good way, but there's never any rest for the winners! Southern Decadence will be a "no go" for the G's this year... WAY too much going on, and too insanely hot to even consider attending! It's been a while since she's missed it, but this year, it's not in the cards!

And on top of all else, the Queen decided her carriage did not befit a sovereign of her stature, so she has spent much of her online time as of late considering the options for new royal conveyance.

She's landed upon a model named after Amurca's 16th President, and Queen G is proud to "Ride Amurcan", even though she knows it was assembled in Canada, from parts made in Malaysia! But the engine and transmission were made in Amurca, dammit, hand assembled with loving care by migrant workers from Mexico! It's as Amurcan as apple pie!

Lest my dear sister DD think she is going to get a ride to Gristedes after my trip through the tunnel (above), that is NOT the CDQG (Carriage de Queen Ginger)! Her's is a more royal bronze tone, with a limited interior only found on a a select few vehicles! And ALL Royal Carriages MUST be named, so look forward to a photo tomorrow so you can share your opinion of a title befitting such a luxurious machine!

Speaking of luxurious, Miss Ginger finally got a tour of the FABULOUS new Legacy Montrose Clinic she has been working so hard to help fund! Actually, "luxurious" is probably not an appropriate word to describe the practical, efficient facility that has been built to LEED compliance, but for the Legacy staff that has been scattered across the far-flung, under-spaced facilities, I'm sure it will feel like a dream come true! Not to mention the clients, who will now have comfortable, spacious, private waiting rooms reserved for their specific needs! There are separate facilities for primary care, eye care, dental care, pediatric care, behavioral care... 3 floors of care, plus administrative offices all in one place! Both Queen Ginger and Boy Ginger could not be prouder of the "baby" they have worked so hard to produce, along with countless others in the Houston community who understand the need for this crucial care!

If you're so inclined, plan on attending the Grand Opening ceremony on October 16th! Miss G is pretty sure she can score you a VIP tour!!

So, our busy gurl gets to put on her scrubs tomorrow and help Boy G clean out the garage! We can't expect that beautiful machine to bake in the hot Texas sun now, can we?!

Congratulations, Sarah!

2011-08-02T23:02:00.000-05:00

Miss Ginger's Tasteless Joke of the Day®

2011-07-25T23:10:00.001-05:00

What does a Muslim pussy look like?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

For real?! Surely you didn't think I would put one of "those things" on this family blog?!

Walk Score® Results Are Out...

2011-07-22T15:33:00.000-05:00

and the Big Apple has ousted the Golden Gate as the "Most Walkable US City" with a "walkability score" of 85.3%! This should be great news for everyone's favorite walking bunny, who thought he was just walking because the traffic is too bad to drive a car!! Truth is, his city offers more treasures within walking distance of more addresses than any other city in the country! The #4 ranking goes to GingerSnap-rich Chicago, and Mistress Maddie enjoys the #5 ranking... at least whenever she drags her hung over ass into the city!

Poor lazy Miss Ginger is stuck in Houston, which, surprisingly, ranked 23rd out of 50. Heat, distance, and humidity make Houston very unwalkable in Miss Ginger's book, but according to the survey, some places are worse (sucks being Oklahoma City!)

Interestingly enough, however, Miss Ginger's humble domicile enjoys a walkability rating of 85%!! Her historic neighborhood was built as a "streetcar community", where everything was designed to be a short walk from the streetcar line. The electric streetcars are long since gone, but the long, narrow layout remains, making distances pretty manageable. Now, if only we could find a solution for the heat and humidity, Miss G might actually stretch her legs and get some exercise!

Check out the amenities within walking distance of Miss G, and then put in your own address to see your score! Which GingerSnap has the highest walkability rating?

Life Has Been....

2011-07-22T09:10:00.000-05:00

....kinda crappy lately!

It's hot as hell!
I'm tired and cranky all the time...
My big fat mouth got me in trouble at work....
I haven't lost any weight even though I haven't been drinking or even eating much....
Money's tight....
things keep breaking and costing money to repair...

I'm tired of this rut!!! I wanna be THIS again:

Thanks for sharing this delicious rant with me... "The house whine of the South!"

The Discrimination Continues....

2011-06-28T22:14:00.000-05:00

As some of you may have read right here on this world renowned blog, Boy G had the immense pleasure of meeting Nikki Araguz recently at the Human Right Campaign gala here in H-town. Since then, we have become friends on facebook, and most recently, I had the pleasure of seeing her at the Houston Pride parade, where she remembered my named unprompted.

My heart so bleeds for this girl, but I have to say how honored I am to know her, and how impressed I am with her willingness to share her story and her life to further the cause of human rights.

Check my previous post if you need a "catch up" on Nikki's case.

A LOT has transpired since that last post, in addition to the fact that, through facebook and personal contact, Nikki has become someone I adore and admire! I'm so impressed with the way she handles the media and the public, and I know that she is trying to make lemonade from some of the lemons that have been thrown at her!

The first big story of the week was the release of the findings from the investigation into Thomas' death. As it turns out, Thomas never should have been sent into that fire in the first place! There were no lives to save. The building was a tinderbox, and there was no risk to surrounding buildings. Common protocol would have been to let it burn itself out while controlling the spread from outside the fire. The captain who made the decision has asked to step down in his own remorse.

Then today, bigotted Republican Judge Vanessa Velasquez "scolded" Nikki for violating the terms of her bail on a petty larceny charge because of pictures posted on facebook of her attendance at the HRC Gala, including, perhaps, the FABULOUS photo of the two of us, above!! Apparently the terms of her bail were vague, but the Dishonorble Judge Velasquez CONVENIENTLY decided that Nikki should not be allowed anywhere alcohol is served after hearing from staff members that Nikki had posted photos of herself at the Gala on facebook. How ironic that her rights to attend a human rights event are being suppressed!! Normally, Queen Ginger just kind of blows through the millions of county judge ballots on election day, but you can be double sure that next time this bitch is up for reelection, Queen G will pore over the ballot to find the chance to vote against her!

And I LOVE when people say this is about the money- it's how they show their own stupidity! 1st of all- the insurance money will be used to support the Thomas' kids, regardless of the way the court rules. This is a case of principles. And secondly: Nikki could potentially make millions through this with book deals and her reality show, if she chooses to pursue those routes. However the courts rule, girlfriend's gonna be okay! She needs our support as she stands for her rights as a transgendered human being, who is being denied her basic rights by the bigotted state of texas, which no longer gets capital letters on my blog!

Happy Pride from Queen Ginger Grant!

2011-06-26T19:28:00.000-05:00

I trust all the GingerSnaps across the globe had a festive weekend as we celebrated Pride around the world!

New York City gets the "Pride Prize" this year for giving us the greatest reason to celebrate! Best wishes to all my 'Snaps in the Empire State, especially to David Dust and Franky G! Auntie Ginger can't wait to come up and babysit the ADORABLE children you will have!

Here in H-town we had our typical, if not enlarged, Gay Pride Celebration! A few die-hard members of the Krewe pulled together a float for King Tony and Queen G to ride, even if enthusiasm from the general membership seemed lacking! Queen Ginger can always count on her lesbians to make sure she is duly honored! We had a great time waving to the crowd and throwing glorious pearl necklaces to all the handsome hotties we saw in the crowd! I've heard a crowd estimate of about 250,000, which is a lot when you consider the prevailing political views in Texas! I think it just goes to show what a farce our political system can be, when the direction taken by our leadership so clearly does not reflect public opinion!!

After a long day of prepping and parading, Queen Ginger gave her new breathing machine QUITE a workout today! 3- count them- three (!) naps today borders on ridiculous!!

But, my Dr. will know about all three of them TOMORROW thanks to the built-in wireless telstar uplink on Queen G's new machine!

So, GingerSnaps. how did YOU celebrate Pride? And more importantly, how many naps did YOU take the next day?

A Very Weird Day!

2011-06-21T00:32:00.000-05:00

I somehow knew today would be weird and it was....

It started off kilter because I had to go to an appointment with my pulmonologist- the Dr. who manages my sleep apnea. Normally, I would not schedule a Dr.'s appointment first thing Monday AM, but he is notoriously hard to see, I rescheduled the appointment twice, and last week he cancelled it. Today was available, so I took it, to avoid waiting another 2 months! (Damn, this post is mundane!)

ANYWAY... I really needed to see him because I continue to be SO DAMN TIRED! Typically, I sleep anywhere from 8-10 hours a night, and I take an hour and a half nap EVERY DAY- even work days! On weekends, especially Saturday, Shelby and I take 2, sometimes 3 naps! I am becoming a cat!

I knew I was sleeping too much, and that part of my weight issue is that I am sleeping when I should be exercising, but I'm tired and it feels SO GOOD to sleep!

I guess the part that surprised me, but caught his attention, was that, as I was explaining my routine to him, I suddenly welled up with uncontrollable tears as I realized I am sleeping the best of my life away! I sobbed as I explained that I avoid social commitments after work and on weekends for fear of being too tired, that my closet, garage, and guest room are a mess because I'm too tired to care that they are a mess, and I actually will rush through things at work or blow them off so I can go home an hour early to start my nap. I held it together without coming unglued, but he could clearly tell I was emotional about it!

I just knew he was going to tell me I'm tired because I'm too fat, and too lazy to exercise, but he was actually very compassionate and actually complimented the fact that I've only gained 3 pounds since my last visit (I'll take that as a victory!) Anyway, he gave me a 3-step plan to get this under control!

Step One: Make sure my sleep apnea is under control. Even though I can't sleep without my machine at all, he's not 100% sure it is helping me sleep because there are a lot of factors that can cause it not to deliver the correct pressure. Newers, modern machines not only can adjust themselves to provide the correct pressure at all times, they can also monitor their performance via an electronic chip that the Dr. can read to chart when I am sleeping, how much I am sleeping, whether my sleep is disturbed, and how much pressure the machine has delivered. Ain't technology amazing?! So he wrote a prescription for a new machine, which I should get in a few days.

Step 2: he has made a note in my chart for my Internal Medicine Dr. to run some blood tests for common causes of chronic fatigue in men, namely thyroid function, testosterone levels, and vitamin D deficiency. I wonder if all those hours in wigs and heels have rendered Boy G's testosterone levels undetectable? That could be embarassing!

Finally, Step 3, only expected to happen after one and 2 are completed, is to lose weight. Methinks that could happen, if improved health can improve my mental picture and make me care. Meanwhile: please pass the doughnuts- I need a snack before I go to bed!!

How Many Do YOU Know?

2011-06-17T22:56:00.000-05:00

And what's the DOUCHIEST thing you've ever seen someone do?

Golden Rules For a Happy Kitteh....

2011-06-17T21:55:00.000-05:00

Open for Discussion...

2011-06-16T23:28:00.000-05:00

Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich said he could explain the problems with the economy in less than 2 minutes, 15 seconds—and he did it (with illustrations to boot). A friend posted it on facebook, and it got Miss Ginger's feeble little brain to reeling:

His arguments make a lot of sense, and certainly some of his statistics are compelling. Miss Ginger is assuming them to be true, which may be naive; not sure on that. She does realize that anyone who professes to explain the American economy in 2 minutes,15 seconds certainly will have to simplify, and will probably do so with some level of bias. He also described a complex, multi-layered problem and offered a simple, vague solution. So here goes Miss Ginger's attempt to do essentially the same thing!

Not that I am defending the "super rich". Miss Ginger often wonders what rich people DO with all that money! Miss G is far, far, from "super rich", yet she has all of the things she "needs", most of the things she "wants", and many of the things she "thinks it would be nice to have!" She even finds some spare change every month or so to support a worthy cause or 2! Granted, she is spoiled rotten and lives beyond her means, but really- how does someone with $1,000,000 SPEND all of that money? And do they DESERVE it? I mean, really- what makes them so different from you or me... except for maybe the 4 inch spike heels, pancake makeup, and FABULOUS red updos?

Take Michael Dell, for example. The man is a prodigy. Earned $18,000 in high school selling newspaper subscriptions. Created a PC company that took on industry leaders IBM and Compaq- and won! Clearly, he is smart. Clearly, he works hard. Clearly, he can lead people to champion his cause.

But seriously- is he SO fabulous that he deserves to earn- are you ready for this- 1,530x's more than Miss Ginger Grant? I'm doing a little rounding here, but my boss earns about 2x's what I make. Her boss earns about 2.5x's what I make. The CEO of my company- ranked #107 in the Fortune 500- earns about 69x's what Miss G makes. And he is considered extremely well compensated for creating America's Department Store. Yet he earns 4.5% of what Michael Dell makes!

Now, giving credit where credit is due, Mr. Dell's little computer factory ranks # 41 on the Fortune 500. So in GingerMath, maybe he should earn 2.6x's what my CEO earns. Not 23x's what he earns!! It's just so mind boggling!!! What can he POSSIBLY do with ALL THAT MONEY?!!!

That comparison of 2 hard-working men seems crazy enough... but lets look at someone else.

How 'bout this crazy looking bitch? She doesn't work at all- yet she is the #6 (actually tied with her sister-in-law at #5) richest person in America- and the richest woman on the list!

Even though she clearly buys her makeup on a discount at WalMart and gets her hair done at Fantastic Sam's, Christy Walton, and her sister-in-law Alice, are the world's richest women. They don't work. Alice is divorced, and Christy's husband is dead, so they don't even have to put out! These rich bitches just lay around, eating bon bons, and cashing the checks that arrive in their mailboxes each day!

You wanna know the bitch of it all? These privileged bitches are in the same income tax bracket as my hardworking boss, and my visionary CEO!! They contribute at the same rate as all the rest of us, yet sit on billions of dollars that could be put to good use!

Now, Miss Ginger is not saying that taxing the shit out of the rich will be the answer to our country's economic woes! Granted, one can invoke "fun with math" and make all kinds of comparisons and conjectures about the fairness of taxation. It's a centuries' old argument that will remain for centuries to come, and is probably the most difficult concept facing organized society.

Miss G is a firm believer that excess capacity is a large part of our economic woes, and Reich's rant supports that, at least to some degree- what the hell else caused all that growth in the economy? The difference between the cause of the Great Depression and the current economic woes is the speed of technology. In the 30's, overproduction mandated cost reduction, which could only be affected by layoffs. That, in turn, caused unemployment, which reduced demand even further. It also left financed machinery sitting idle, which caused bankruptcies This made many businesses go under, causing even more layoffs, and the vicious cycle continued!

With today's speed to market, the problem just gets worse! Excess capacity causes a need to find new markets. Those markets are typically overseas, requiring additional costs for shipping, as well as new sales and marketing teams- based overseas, where the goods are sold. In order to reduce costs to maintain profitability in these new-found markets, companies either invest in work-saving technology or move production overseas- in either case eliminating jobs on American soil.So, while the American job market shrinks, causing grief for the working class, the American economy grows along with the world economy... providing dividends for the rich. Yet, the American PERCENTAGE of the world economy decreases as other markets prosper at our expense! Another vicious cycle!

So, how do we stimulate the American economy without unfairly taxing the shit out of the rich? It's really not rocket science! Or robotic technology! It's just plain common sense!

Step one is to differentiate the source of one's income better than we do today. Currently, when we do our taxes, we basically divide our earnings for the year into 3 "buckets": earned income, meaning wages from a job; unearned income, meaning returns on investments; and capital gains, meaning, in a nutshell, profits from the sale of investment property. Today, each of these buckets has it's own complicated tax rate, and only one works on a sliding scale! If you barely make enough money to make ends meet, we tax you at one rate. If you are able to subside comfortable on your wages, we tax you at another. And if you make good money, we take a bit more. I'm simplifying, but that's basically it. But here's the fucked up part. If you barely make enough money to make ends meet, you have nothing to invest- so you really could care less how we tax your dividend income or capital gains. If you make enough money to make ends meet, you may actually find some funds to invest from time to time- and you invest them wherever you think you can earn the most money, whether or not it supports American jobs. And you pay the rate for unearned income. And if you are making a lot of money, you have a lot to invest- which, or course, you invest where you think you can make the most money. And since you have money to make money, you can pay someone to help you determine the absolute best return on your money- which will usually lead you to a company with overseas investments! And when your investment counselor tells you the time is right, you sell the investment- at enourmous inflation over the price you paid- yet you are taxed at the same 15% that Ma and Pa Kettle will pay on that one share of Bank of America they have owned since 1963!

So how do we fix it? That's not so easy! We are not going to change the nature of the investor: they are in it to make money! So, how do you get them to support the American economy while still investing wisely? It seems to Miss G that we need more than 3 "buckets".

Bucket # 1: Wages. The keystone of a civilized society is that all should contribute. Anyone who has a job should pay some level of taxes. What's the right amount? That's a whole 'nother blog post!!

Bucket #2: Dividends/Investment Income. Somehow, we have to find a way to encourage companies to expand on American soil. How do we create sliding scale tax schedule that encourages companies to create American jobs vs. jobs overseas. We should be taxing the HELL out of American companies with manufacturing facilities and marketing teams outside of our borders! We MUST find a way to split this bucket between "pro-American" investment and "pro-global" investment!

Bucket # 3: Capital Gains. This is a toughy- but maybe not! On the one hand, if I have made a good investment, and the company has prospered, I should be rewarded for my faith in the free enterprise system. Yet, if the stock I sell supports a company with overseas investments, should I be taxes at the same rate as if I sell stock in, say, Whole Foods, which operates only here in the great US of A?

And that mention of free enterprise brings me to yet another rambling point... how do we protect our free enterprise economy as technology mandates a world economy that accepts socialism, fascism, and in some cases communism? How can our American airline companies be expected to compete in a world economy where national governments so closely subsidize and manage the industry? How can we expect American manufacturing companies to hire American workers when people overseas will work for so little? Even if we tax their earnings, it may not make a difference!

In order to maintain America's position as a world leader, we must have leadership capable of leading the world! Any GingerSnap who has traveled overseas: what's the first question the cab driver asks you upon discovering you are American? That's right! "What do you think of: Bush/Hilary/Obama/Palin/Bachman"? I'm not recommending that we open up the vote to expatriates and non-citizens, but I DO think that we, as American voters, have to consider how our future leadership will guide us through this tumultuous world economy!

I, personally, think Barack Obama has the cleverness, uniqueness, charm, and talent to lead our country into the next 4 years. I certainly don't think the Repubicans (sic) have produced a wiener more qualified to lead the country in the New World Order! Seems to me they have sallied forth a lot more (see you nest Tuesday)s!

So, whaddya think, GIngerSnaps? Discuss in comments.. PLEASE!

Fat Fighters Has a NEWWWWW Memba!

2011-06-12T17:38:00.000-05:00

One of our favorite GingerSnaps is embarking on a new eating plan! Good luck, sweetie- we're all pulling for you!

Just For the Record.....

2011-06-12T10:15:00.000-05:00

... Miss Ginger has never been particularly politically minded. As a child, Momma G always taught her to respect the President, whomever he may be, and even though she was a pretty staunch Republican, she thought that JFK was the epitome against which other Presidents should be compared. And she hated Nixon. And Reagan. But she loved Bush the First. I guess she was politically confused! Baby G found most of it, well, boring, honestly.

But, Miss G is fixin' to go all political on your ass!! If Prick Perry runs for President, Miss G will do everything in her power to ensure he doesn't get elected! This man can't run the State of Texas, one of the richest, most productive states in the Union! While other states struggled with economies hobbled by poor market conditions, Texas motors forward, producing oil, computers, technology, and medical advancements at an astounding rate. Yet, the Governor is so busy worried about what people are doing in their bedrooms, or how some unintentional unwed mother handles her pregnancy, that he can't find the time to figure out how to get Texas out of the red!
His priorities are fucked up, his policies are fucked up, and his ideals are fucked up! About the only thing NOT fucked up about him is his perfectly coiffed 'do! Somedays, his updo is bigger than Miss Gingers!

Lest we forget, this was the man that a few short years ago was ready to take The Great State of Texas and secede from the country! Now, he's applying for the job of running it?!

Miss Ginger is getting her political panties ready to roll- regardless of who the Republicans put out there, Miss G is ready to campaign against them!

Follow Me!

2011-06-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

Queen Ginger is at 95 followers- it's taken a long, long, time to get there, and she's proud of her progress! But, being a goal-oriented individual, she REALLY wants to be at 100!!!

She appreciates every one of her GingerSnaps, from the daily commenters to the occassional lurkers. And, according her feedjit, there are a LOT of lurkers out there!!

What are you hiding from, dear people?! Come into the light!! Sing up for a google account- it's free- and then follow, follow follow follow, follow!

Miss Ginger's First Prom!

2011-06-11T00:34:00.000-05:00

That's right, dear 'Snaps, Miss Ginger never went to prom in high school. You will all be shocked to learn, I'm sure, that Miss G was "the class fag", the one who was picked on in the hallways, mocked in gym class, and otherwise ostracized by all but a select few friends in high school. Miss Ginger couldn't WAIT until 3pm each day so she could escape those terrorist boors, so there certainly is no reason why she would want to get all dolled up on a Friday night and watch them drink themselves silly on hootch they stole from their parent's liquor cabinet. Just not Miss G's scene.

So how ironic is it that on the exact same night that Miss G's
old gang meets for their 30 year high school reunion, Miss G gets to go to her first prom! And with one of her favorite people, no less, Ms. MB, of OCD landscaping fame!

At one point Miss G actually contemplated going to the reunion, but her discovery that 2 of the people she would have actually enjoyed seeing wouldn't be there reduced the number of people she might want to see to 3, and one of them she sees all the time in NOLA. That, coupled with an unfortunate facebook interaction she had with some unfortunate coonass girl who's name was probably Tammy, made her decide she'd rather spend her time volunteering.

So what a fortunate coincidence that the kids from HATCH were having their prom on the same night, and Queen Ginger was invited to represent the Krewe! HATCH is a wonderful organization here in Houston, hosted by the Montrose Counseling Center, that allows young people to explore their sexual orientation and gender identity in a respectful, safe, and protected environment. While other kids are at career fairs deciding what the want to be when they grow up, the HATCH kids are busy determining WHO they want to be when they grow up! It's a crucial decision for GLBTQ teens, and unfortunately, a decision some don't survive long enough to make.

So the Queen, along with the Float Lieutenant, Vice President, and Secretary of the Krewe had a great time watching the kids have a great time! It was certainly one of the most "colorful" things Miss G has ever seen, with girls, boys, gurls, boiz, queens, kings, and one young person designated as "Rainbow" on his or her shirt that Miss G could only label as "fabulous"! There were kids from all walks of life, all colors of skin, and all different angles of the diversity rainbow when it comes to orientation and gender identity. Once group of biological girls, who called themselves "The Gendermen", did a little lipsync performance dressed as bees, and they were just adorable! 2 different Lady Gagettes, one almost 7 feet tall with her shoes on, came together for an impromptu GaGa duet of "Bad Romance" that had the whole crowd on their feet! Seeing kids with somewhere to go where they could be themselves, dress as they want, and act however they want to was pretty amazing. Queen Ginger looks forward to doing more work with the HATCH kids, and looks forward to the next time she's asked to interview the students for the Youth Scholarship Fund. It's great to be able to help kids find their way to becoming happy, stable, successful adults!

An Idle Brain Is the Devil's Workshop...

2011-06-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

... and 2 are just a disaster waiting to happen!!!

Mrs. Miss A and I were chatting tonight on faceplace (ain't technology somethin'?) and we realized that we were going to need a pretty grand scheme if we ever hoped to get all the GIngerSnaps together!

I mean, on top of our riDICulously busy schedules, and the fact that we are flung from one coast to the other, there is also the fact that flights are expensive, no one has time to drive, Houston is out of everyone's way, and there's nothing to do in Detroit.

Then, we had a BRAZZILIANT idea!!

What if we plan a GIngerSnap rendevouz in the Windy City? Mr. and Mrs. A can make an easy drive from the motor city! Points east can typically find cheap commuter trains to make the trip. And the most far flung of us can find cheap flights to O'Hare and Midway almost any time of the year! Nutwood's just a hoot and a holler from there! We can live on pizza and beer, camp out in cheap hotels (from which you can all come visit Miss Ginger at the Palmer House!) and if we are really sweet, we might even be able to talk Dan or Proper into giving us a tour of the city and it's infamous "BOYSTOWN!"

Waddya think, GingerSnaps? Anyone interested? When's the best time to to go?

Posted Without Comment...

2011-06-05T21:45:00.000-05:00

... I shall leave that to you, dear GingerSnaps! Don't fail me- wow me with yor braZILLiantly hilarious captions!!

A History Lesson for Ms. Palin....

2011-06-05T11:28:00.000-05:00

Someone had to do it... might as well be me!

Sarah's Midnight Bus Trip

Listen, Ms. Palin, and you shall hear

Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,

On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;

Clearly no Palin is now alive

Who remembers that famous day and year.

He said to his friend, "If the British march

By land or sea from the town to-night,

Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch

Of the North Church tower as a signal light,--

One if by land, and two if by sea;

And I on the opposite shore will be,

Ready to ride and spread the alarm

Through every Middlesex village and farm,

For the country folk to be up and to arm."

So you see, Sarah, dear, ‘twas not the Brit

but Americans warned, you stupid nit wit!

Just as your bus comes over the ridge,

don’t be surprised if they pull up the bridge.

They’ll batten the hatches, and roll up the streets,
Each window and door will be covered with sheets.
American families hide from your sight
As your spew your stupidity night after night.

With God in your Army you defend war; A phantom of violence with you as the star.

Your victims are victims whose rights are forlorn,
And despite an attack, the mistake must be born.
These victims of rape, according to you
must bear the child; they must see it through.
Though the egg that was wasted through violence and hate
Could be corrected without any wait,

You in your selfish, and ignorant way

will make these poor victims suffer and pay.

Nine months of suffering with daily reminders

Of a violent attack, seen without blinders

Then a lifetime reminder of her pain a grief

will show up under a near cabbage leaf.

Big Oil’s your friend, you say “drill baby, drill”

and you have contingents in case there’s a spill!

“Don’t worry!” says Sarah, as she hauls in her tractor

“We’ll tear down this plain for a nukelar reactor!”

Your world views are sketchy, your arguments trite,
And your knowledge of history’s not even right!

So don’t be surprised when you roll into town

If the drawbridge is up, and the guard gate is down!

The sentinel’s guarding the town through the night,

The moment you show up, he’ll strike up his light.

To warn all the townsfolk, each husband and wife”

“Sarah Palin is coming! Run for your life!”

Houston Philanthropy At It's Best!

2011-06-05T01:27:00.000-05:00

What a day it was today in Houston for philanthropy and recognition of Human Rights!!

A midday "flashmob" in the Houston Galleria (right in front of one of Miss G's stores!) celebrated breast cancer awareness with a coreographed routine to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Surive!"

Best part of all? It was sung LIVE by Ms. Gaynor her ownself, right there up in front of the Macy's! So sorry I missed it! Sponsored by Houston Philanthropists Sue and Lester Smith, it was one of Houston's best "worst kept" secrets, although Miss G didn't find out about it until after it had happened!

Then later tonight, Miss G, along with the rest of Houston glitterari gays and lesbians, gathered at the Hilton Americas for the 14th annual Houston Human Rights Campaign gala.

The unspoken star of the night was Cuc Vu, who's "Miss Saigon" story of her escape from a war-torn Vietmnam was both riveting and inspiring.

The "spoken" star of the night was Kate Walsh, star of TV's "Grey's Anatomy" and its' spinoff, "Private Practice". She was sweet, cute, charming, and entertaining. And, we agreed, apparently a tad drunk. Not that we all weren't!

Miss Ginger's BIG excitement for the night, however, was her opportunity to meet Nikki Araguz, live and in person! There she was, tiny little petite woman that she is, looking 100%, bonafide, real woman. Not that there should be any doubt, nor should it matter, but believe me when I tell you, if Miss Ginger did not know this woman was transgendered, she would lose a bet, because there is no way anyone could tell she was born a man if she didn't tell them. Nikki was sweet, charming, cordial, and genuine! I can't WAIT for her reality show to air, so I can watch and recap it weekly! Miss Ginger is officially "starstruck!"

It's late! Hopefully, there will be more later, to include a photo op of Miss G with Nikki!

Who Needs Reality TV....

2011-06-03T00:05:00.000-05:00

...when the news is this riveting??

Singer Patti LaBelle apparently felt a passerby got too close for comfort here at Houston's Intercontinental Airport, where she rolled down the window to her limo and summoned her bodyguards. A young U.S. Military Academy senior was talking on his cellphone and wondered into the singer's line of fire, enciting the attack. According to the Houston Chronicle, the cadet is now lawyered up and is suing LaBelle, her bodyguards, and IAH.

Now, before all you Patti queens out there jump to her defense, take a look at the security video- lower right hand corner. It looks pretty unprovoked to Miss Ginger's naked eye:

Here's one for you reality TV fans out there...

Transgendered widow Nikki Araguz is back in court, in charges unrelated to her contested marriage to deceased firefighter Thomas Araguz III. If you're not up to date on that story, after the tragic death of Thomas Araguz in the line of duty, Nikki, a surgical transexual, was sued by Thomas' ex-wife, stating that Thomas' marriage to Nikki was illegal because Nikki was born a man. In fact, in the bass-ackwards state of Texas, such a marriage is not legal, the judge found for the plaintiff, and the $1mil + dollars in death benefits went to Thomas' ex-wife and Nikki was left high and dry. A pretty sad story, and a tough reflection on Texas' regard for civil rights. The question about when and if Thomas Araguz knew about his wife's sexual reassignment may never be known for sure.

This week, Nikki is in court over what appears to be a petty larceny charge. Once again, the Texas courts consider Nikki to be a laughable being, and the judge himself allows his bigotry to show through as he shakes his head while Nikki tells her side of the story. That in itself should be cause for a mistrial in the Court of Miss Ginger, but in this case, who knows? Problem is, Nikki has had a pretty checkered past, so issues like these make her case more challenging.

That, and the fact that she has agreed to allow a film crew and television producer to follow her around to create a new "reality" show called "Being Nikki". I guess it's a way to pay the bills, but it seems to Miss Ginger that she might have wanted to hold off until her case makes it through the appeals court. In any case, I wish girlfriend a lot of luck, and hope she can maintain her composure and decorum during these difficult times.

In other news, MLK's Daughter, Rvd. Bernice King, has parted ways with the bulgilicious Bishop Eddie Long of Atlanta megachurch New Birth. According to Rvd. King, she is leaving because ~~homeboy fucked boys~~ she "feels called to an assignment" that she is "not calling .. a church right now". Perhaps after she gives it some undivided attention, and it grows a bit, she can call it a church, but for right now, Miss Ginger is guessing she just thinks of it as a ~~"penis"~~ "congregation".

And finally, in the Great Northwest, a judge has ruled that The Gay Softball World Series can legally limit the number of straight players on their gay softball teams. Apparently there were too many pitchers and not enough catchers!!

Who needs Connie Chung when you've got Miss G?!

Someone's in the Kitchen with Ginger!!!

2011-05-29T21:59:00.000-05:00

And as usual, that someone is Momma G!! Check out this great recipe and the stories that go with it on The Low Salt Cajun Queen!

Nothing's Funnier Than the Truth:

2011-05-28T12:20:00.000-05:00

but it's always nice to be recognized, anyway!

Miss Ginger was recently honored to received the Outstanding Guest Comment of the Week award from cutiepie Bob over at I Should Be Laughing!

Always competitive in nature, Miss G would love to tell you she trained long and hard (hard- heh, heh) for this contest, but to be truthful, she had never even fucking heard of it until she won it!

Miss G commented on Bob's post "I Can See Mexico From My House", which you know sounds like a snarkfest just waiting to happen! Check it out!

Thanks, Bob! MWAH!

Miss Ginger's Last Wishes....

2011-05-28T12:02:00.000-05:00

....not that you'll need them anytime soon!

Miss Ginger considers herself a bit a funeral expert. For a while, her family was part of the 'Frequent Diers Club" at Hixon's Funeral Home in Lake Charles. Man, the funeral industry has changed! It's a total racket, created by Service Corporation International based right here in Houston, the creators of what Miss G likes to call "McFuneral". Seriously, by the time it's all over, they give you a little box, with a handle on top, that contains "memorablilia" of one of the worst days of your life! The funeral industry in the US is barbaric, and Miss Ginger wants no part of it!!

It starts with a box- a big, heavy, overpriced box designed to hold an embalmed body. Miss G would venture to say that the box she buried her mother in cost more than any single piece of furniture in her home- in fact, it may have cost more than ALL of the furniture in his home. We saw it for about an hour and a half. And now, worms are eating it. CRAZY!!!!

Once they get you stuffed in nice and cozy, some of your best friends have to go through the pain of being pall bearers. Not only are they sad that you died, but now they have to carry your fat ass around in a box that was already as heavy as a piano! In the old days, I guess this custom made sense, but nowadays, they use these wheeled hydraulic lifts that give the whole process about as much dignity as loading luggage into the belly of an airplane!

And what's worse than being stuffed into a wooden box and dragged around by your friends after your die? How about being paraded across town in a really tacky station wagon? Not only do you have to ride in this ugly monstrosity, but all of your friends will parade behind in their cars, lights flashing, to make sure everyone in town notices!

And just to make sure everyone know you are DEAD, the whole place is decorated with DEAD plants! Florists LOVE funerals, because they can use up all the flowers that have been in their coolers for weeks, that are just a day or so away from browning in the compost heap. The petals only have to stay on for about half a day, and no one sees them up close anyway, so it's the perfect disposal.
And what does the family do after the service to ensure these flowers don't meet an early demise? They pack them up and send them to an OLD FOLKS HOME, so the old people can be reminded of what they have to look forward to!! Barbaric, in the cruelest since of the word!

The old folks in New Orleans have it figured out- a Jazz Funeral is the way to go!! Miss Ginger want her body cremated, and the ashes sealed in a nice, heavy urn. Marble would be nice. No inscription; no markings. This will give everyone time to make reservations and get themselves to New Orleans for the designated weekend, where they are to check into the Royal Sonesta or the Royal Orleans (go for the best rate!) Arrive Friday night to allow everyone to get settled and meet!

Saturday night, everyone should meet at the river about an hour before sunset, to unceremoniously drop the ash-filled urn into the Mississippi River. Upon hearing the splash, a Jazz Band should strike up their best Mardi Gras Medley, and the entire group should parade back through the quarter to a catered buffet of gumbo, shrimp, crawfish, and oysters!

Don't forget to buy cocktails for the folks in the second line that will undoubtedly fall in behind the procession! (it's considered "good form" to buy them cocktails!)

And it's a "come as you are" kind of party- no black dresses, no black suits! Wear what you would wear for a night of partying in the Quarter- augmented with an appropriate amount of feathers and bling, of course! You ARE honoring the FABULOUS Miss Ginger Grant!

And finally- no preachers or priests, no prayers or eulogies, and no mention of christ, jeebus, or beelzebub!! Just toasts to the soul you are sending off, and toasts for the souls that remain on Earth!

Oh, and a jazz brunch the next morning. Might as well make a full weekend of it!!

Preamble to Ginger's Last Wishes

2011-05-27T00:34:00.000-05:00

Miss Ginger has been thinking a lot about death and dying lately, for obvious reasons. Not only has she dealt with the death of her beloved Jackson, but a few weeks earlier, one of her best friends, with whom she shares an unfortunate connection to death, lost his Dad, and Boy G drove up for the funeral. Despite her cheerful exterior, death and dying is always on her mind. It comes from being the youngest in the family.

Miss G's first loss was her maternal grandfather, whom she had only known at her young age to be a sick old man. When Zha Zha (that's another blog post!) and Grandaddy would come over to the house, Grandaddy would sit in Momma's chair, and cough, and cough, and cough. He had terrible emphysema, and when he would cough into a kleenex, he would fold it the short way, then roll it the long way, into a neat, anal-retentive log, and throw it into the trash can that always sat by momma's chair for the bits and threads she'd clip from her knitting. When they went home, Momma would immediately send one of us out to empty that can! It would have 100's of those little "logs" in it, and it broke her heart to see it.

When Grandaddy died, Miss G and the family received a "funeral ham", the first of many! Zha Zha, Aunt Selma, then Paw Paw. By the time Paw Paw died, Baby G had the gig down pat. He walked home from school, as always, and instead of Momma standing in the kitchen making dinner, Aunt Nen was there. A ham was on the counter.

"Hi, Aunt Nen!", said a cheerful Baby G. "Who died?"
She said "your Grandfather died" to which I replied "Aunt Nen, Grandaddy's been dead for years!"
"No", she said, "It was was your Father's Father. I'm so sorry."
"Paw Paw?", I asked. "But he hasn't even been sick!"
Paw Paw was 83 years old and the picture of health- or so we thought. He had gone to the doctors office for his physical. The doctor gave him a clean bill of health. He went to the front desk to pay the bill, and dropped dead of a heart attack, right there in the doctor's office. Paw Paw was kind of mean, and had a mean Boston Terrier named Totsie. I was scared of both of them, so I wasn't sad that Paw Paw had died. But he was the first person I had known who died without being pitifully sick. That was scary!

My Grandparents had lots of sisters and brothers, so lots of old people died when I was little. Baby G's first brush with the death of a friend happened at the ripe old age of 12. Our next door neighbors, a family of proud Italian heritage, owned the town's nicest gift shop, where the most well-heeled brides registered their patterns, and Poppa G went for special gifts for Momma G. The shop had been owned by Pete's parents, the late Pete Sr. and Momma Rose, and when Pete was 8 years old, his parents took him to Italy on a buying trip for the shop. When Pete's oldest son turned 8, the store was doing extremely well, so Pete stayed home to tend the shop and sent his mother, his wife, and his oldest of 2 sons to Italy to repeat the trip. They flew on ill-fated Eastern Flight 66 from New Orleans to JFK, which crashed due to wind shear and killed everyone on board. This poor man lost his mother, his wife, and his firstborn son in this tragic accident, and from what I understand, never really recovered. And Baby G lost his best friend.

Our neighborhood had service alleys between the rows of houses, and across the alley from us was a lovely family that our family knew very well. They had adopted 2 children, a popular girl who fell between the ages of brothers 2 and 3, and a son, who was a somewhat troubled fellow, but only a couple of years older than me, so someone I liked to hang out with. Chances are if I got in trouble, he was involved. Back then, everyone in town used natural Christmas trees, so after Christmas, all us kids in the neighborhood would collect the discarded trees and drag them to vacant lots where we would make "tree forts". Of course, each group wanted to have the most trees, so we would often raid each other's forts to steal their trees to add a wing to our own construction. It was all innocent fun, playing with trash, really!

When your group made a tree raid, you needed to be able to get in, get the loot, and get out quickly without getting caught, so my friend taught himself to tie a hangman's noose, and created a series of them on one rope. This way, we could quickly nab several trees each, noose them swiftly behind our bikes, and speed away to add them to our fort before anyone missed them! It seemed ingenious and innocuous to me.

One cold January night, Momma and Dad called me into the dining room- never a place you wanted to be summoned!

"G", said a very serious toned Poppa, "we have a very important question to ask you. It's very important that you tell us the truth."
"Sure", replied an always obedient Baby G. "I know better than to lie to you."
"Do you know where K is? If you know where he is, it's very important that you tell us the truth"
"No, Daddy, I have no idea. He got mad at me when I lost 4 trees on the last raid because I couldn't pedal fast enough! I haven't seen him in weeks!"
"Are you sure?", prodded Momma G. "If you know where he is, you must tell us- no matter what you may have promised him or no matter what he may have asked you to keep secret."
"Momma, there are no secrets. I have no idea where he is! What's going on?"

Momma and Daddy explained to me that K's parents could not find him, and that he had not come home the night before. They had called the police, and were worried sick. Of course, I would have told them if I knew where he was.

All weekend long, both families worried. K's parents waited together by the phone, hoping he'd be found. Monday morning, K's Dad went to his office/warehouse to update his staff and let them know he was going to take some time off. When he walked into the warehouse, there was his son, hanging from one of the rafters by a hangman's noose.

None of us will ever really know exactly what happened, or how it happened. There was no sign of foul play or forced entry, so the authorities were pretty sure it was not a murder. Was it really a suicide, or just a curious kid's experiment gone horribly wrong. I guess we'll never know.

In a lot of ways, Aunt Nen was as much a Grandmother to us as our own Grandparents. Aunt Nen was Grandaddy's sister, and she was Momma's favorite aunt. Momma and Zha Zha had their own tumultuous mother/daughter relationship, but Momma and Aunt Nen loved each other unconditionally. Aunt Nen and Uncle George, my namesake, were unable to have children, so they treated Momma and Daddy's brood of boys as their own, and the older boys' stories of fishing with Uncle George are legendary! Uncle George died before I was born, but the stories told by Daddy and the older boys make him sound like Earnest Hemingway, with a fascinating, swashbuckling lifestyle and a joie de vivre to be recond with! He was a fisherman, woodworker, and collector, and Miss G still has treasures from around the world that they collected during the 30's and 40's as they traveled in search of black gold! Uncle George was a driller, so after the geologists found oil in places around the world, he arrived close behind to figure out how to get it out of the ground. Give Aunt Nen a bottle of scotch and a box of chocolate covered cherries and you were in for a long night of hilarious, spirited stories about their travels and experiences! Aunt Nen was the last of the "old people" to die, and I loved her very much. The cuckoo clock Uncle George had imported from the black forest for her shortly after their wedding is one of my prized possessions, and even though it's very difficult to keep an 84 year old clock working, it still hangs in a place of honor in my home. Most of the interesting artifacts in my home were, in fact, inherited from Aunt Nen and Uncle George.

The 80's brought the horrors of the AIDS crisis into Miss G's life,and she lost many, many friends, as did many of her readers. These were the years that formed her intent toward philanthropy, and she is proud to do her work in honor of these remarkable souls.

The 90's brought the death of her beloved Poppa G, and in the 21st century she lost Momma G and her oldest brother. There was another terrible death during this time, still too raw to blog about, but it was the experience, more than any, that taught Miss G just how fleeting life can be, and how important it is to live each day as though it were your last!

Of course, with each of these deaths came a funeral, and in her next post, Miss G will opine on the modern McFuneral model, and share her wishes for her own departure from the worldly. Hope you'll stay tuned so you'll be able to help see our girl out in style... IF you can outlive her!! Good luck with that!

Summer Memories Invoked by the Minx!

2011-05-25T10:20:00.000-05:00

The Minx recently published a post about sloppy joes on Minxeats, and it brought back so many childhood memories... for several reasons! My mom made sloppy joes often- not only to feed 5 hungry boys at home, but to fill big 40 quart roaster ovens to sell them at the concession stands at our little league games. She NEVER used Manwich- she made them from "scratch"- I remember ketchup, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce... and I'm sure garlic powder and onions. I haven't had a sloppy joe in years- I wonder if I would still like them?

As a kid in the summers, I ate chicken gumbo soup for lunch almost every day. I didn't even think of it as "gumbo"- I just liked the salty, tomatoey broth in the soup. Where we lived in South Louisiana, mornings typically had clear blue skies, and around noon, clouds would begin to gather as the afternoons heat thunderstorms began to develop. I knew that wherever I was in the neighborhood, when the sky got "blinky" it was time to go home for lunch! Daddy owned his own business, so he came home for lunch every day, and he and I would sit together at the breakfast bar and eat our lunch. Me with my little bowl of soup and some saltines, and Daddy, eating leftovers from the night before. Momma G cleverly planned leftovers for Daddy's lunches, and they were one of the few things "off limits" in the refrigerator for us kids. "Don't eat anything out of the yellow bowls" she would scream when she heard one of us foraging for a snack. "That's for your Daddy's lunches!"

Most of our summers when I was very young were spent at Huber Park, where the older boys played baseball. Daddy was a coach, and Momma was in charge of the concession stands, so usually, Momma would sit me with some of the "older" Moms in the bleachers, who had a blast watching me, and spoiling me rotten. I was too little to sit on one row of the bleachers and lean back on next one up, the way adults do, so Mrs. Bass would sit behind me and let me sit back against her legs. The ladies would buy me bubble gum, and corn dogs, and my favorite- snow cones!

I'm not sure which I loved more- the icky sweet, syrupy, sticky shaved ice, or the cool machine that made them! I loved watching the ice get loaded into the chute, and then watching the plunger convert it to white, fluffy snow in seconds. When I got older, I worked in the concession stands with Momma (Baby G had NO INTEREST in being a bat boy- sorry, Daddy!) and of course, I always got the snow cone station!

Momma G was a smart cookie when it came to keeping up with 5 boys. In the summers, the washer ran constantly in our house, and after a day of baseball games, there would be a parade of naked children as each brother ceremoniously stripped off his uniform in the laundry room, and then marched through the house to the bathroom to take a shower. I had a "uniform" as well- always a white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. After the baseball uniforms were in the washer, Momma G would find me and ask "what did you have to eat today?", a question I honestly couldn't answer, because I couldn't remember all of it! Then should would say "I think you had a corn dog, and a blue snow cone, some popcorn, and a coke." Spooky! The woman must have eyes in the back of her head!! I thought she was some kind of psychic! It wasn't until years later that she told me the purpose of the white t-shirts- the spills and stains on it gave her a clear record of everything the various and sundry well-meaning ladies in the concession stand had given me to eat! Into the washer with some bleach, and my "wearable white board" was ready for the next day's markings!

We had many, many fun family times at the ball park, but there were a couple of scary times, as well. One time, we heard a blood curdling scream from the concession stand. Instinctively, one of my "caretakers" grabbed me to her and held me, while the others rushed over to see what had happened. Momma G had reached into the popcorn machine to grab a bag while the kettle was cooking, and bumped the handle, tipping the kettle and pouring scalding grease all over her hand. They packed it in ice, took her to the hospital that was 2 blocks away, and got her back to me before I even realized she was gone! It was a terrible burn, but it healed completely.

Another time, Daddy took us boys to mow the field. Well, the big boys were going to mow, I was pretty much going to swing, and ride the seesaws and such. Anyway, at the ball field they had one of those big-wheeled Yazoo lawnmowers- I don't think they even make them anymore. It had big bicylcle wheels on the back, and rotating wheels on the front, and it was big and wide, designed to cut ball fields, golf courses, etc. Because it was so large, it was one of the first self-propelled lawnmowers ever made, and we had never seen anything like before. Brother B's shift was first. Daddy started the engine, and B said "Dad, why is it so hard to push?" Daddy said "It's self-propelled. Push that yellow lever forward and it will push itself". "Like this?" asks Brother B, as the huge machine lurches forward and drives itself right over Brother A's foot. Dad scoops up A and carries him to the station wagon, and we all pile in and drive home, about 5 blocks. Mom freaks, of course. As soon as she sees it, she lays into Daddy: "Why did you bring him here? You drove RIGHT PAST the hospital!" It's true, the hospital was smack dab in between the house and ball park, about 3 blocks from each! So, back into the station wagon they went, to take Artie to the emergency room for many, many stitches.

Remind me later to tell you the story of the chain saw. And the time we got the boat stuck in the mud. Or the time the door fell off of the car. I've got a million!

All good, clean, family fun!

Loss

2011-05-23T20:45:00.000-05:00

Humor us one more day and we promise to get back to our normal, FABULOUS selves.

This has been a tough day for Shelby and I. Much as the doctor had warned, she has been verrrrrry clingy, but otherwise relatively normal. I have seen her feed and drink, which is great, but she doesn't seem to be using the litter box. That's something I will call about tomorrow if it doesn't resolve itself. Maybe she's using the one upstairs that Jack rarely used. Surely, she's been today or she'd seem a lot more miserable!

I'm tormented by smells today. When they brought Jackson to me, he smelled horrible- like a dirty baby. That putrid milk smell that a baby gets by the end of the day. Combined with wet cat. I never want to smell that smell again! In addition, in a fit of poor judgement, I tied the crawfish shells from the weekend in a plastic bag and put them in the outdoor garbage bin. That was a bad idea... it was 90 degrees today. The yard reeks, and the garbage man doesn't come until Thursday. And to top that off, I think a possum has died under the house. I get a faint wiff of it here in the office, and the downstairs bathroom filled with fleas last night, which always happens when something croaks beneath the floorboards. At least they seem to confine themselves to the bathroom, which I think is because the floor there is white. I really wish I could just turn my nose off for a while. Instead, I've chosen to shove it into a glass of wine.

Believe it or not, this is the first time in my adult life that I have experience the loss of a pet, and the first time I have had to put one down. We had an Irish Setter for most of my childhood, and she died the summer between high school and college. Natural causes. I wasn't home at the time. It was sad, but not terrible.

Today was terrible. After having lost 4 grandparents, 2 parents, a brother, numerous aunts and uncles, and many, many friends, I thought I was a grief warrior! Grieve, yes. Take your time, yes. Time will heal, yes. Yet somehow, this was different. My pain initially was much more intense- the tears were like acid running down my face. I cried harder, longer, and much more intensely than I did when Momma or Daddy died. When they died, I felt blistered. It hurt. I wasn't going to die from it, but it hurt. And it lingered, and different things would irritate it and make it worse again. It seemed like every time I walked, I rubbed against that blister and irritated it again.

This was more of an acute pain, like a stab, or a cut. It hurt really bad when it happened, but now, it seems bandaged, and as long as I'm careful, I think it will heal quickly and leave one of those scars that reminds you how much fun you were having when you fell. He was my first cat. He came into my life with my first live in lover. He stayed with me after I had my first real breakup. And now he's gone.

I still have Shelby, thank god! And my little Nog, the one I worry about the most, is healthy and happy and ruling the back yard. And I'm sure there will be other cats in my future. Maybe I will find them; maybe they will find me. But Jackson will always be my first kitty, and that means he will always be a special kitty. And I thank ALL of my kitty loving friends for their love, support, understanding, and patience!

It would probably do me good to get out. But I don't want to leave Shelby alone. She's never been alone. As luck would have it, I had planned a few days "staycation" this week to try to get some things done. So much for that. But at least I have a couple of days to keep an eye on Shelby, and I am thrilled that I have my GingerSnaps to talk to. You all mean the world to me!

Jackson Brown Manuel Burch 10/1/2008 - 5/23/2011

2011-05-23T14:05:00.000-05:00

Rest in peace, little buddy. I will always remember our time together!

It's over. His little body just couldn't deal with 3 defective organs. Troubles with his pancreas were making his blood sugar bounce all over the place, making it extremely difficult for the doctors to regulate his insulin. At home, it would have been impossible. Had he suffered only from fatty liver disease, he wold have begun to bounce back by now. With his liver, pancreas, and gall bladder all diseased, his kidneys would have been the next to go. Better to stop his suffering now. He didn't have any fight left.

God! That was hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life, even though I've already practiced twice with humans!! Difference is, with humans, we had discussed it. In fact, I had PROMISED to make things swift when we knew it was time to go. Even though I always told Jackson that I would always take care of him, I wonder if he understood that meant up to the very end?

When the nurse brought him to me today, he was some limp, and lifeless. He seemed aware that it was me, but didn't have the strength to respond much to my touch. Seeing him like that made my decision clear, and after the doctor went to prepare and left me with him for a moment, he got all kinda squirmy and restless. He seemed to be trying to turn over, so as I turned him feet down, I could tell he was trying with all his might to get into our "nap" position, with me lying on my back, and him sitting on my belly, with his paws on my chest and his head snuggled up under my chin. I slouched down in the chair as much as I could, and got his little butt and paws into place, but he wasn't strong enough to hold his head under my chin. He just kind of rested it on my chest between his paws and stayed that way until the doctor came in. That's the position in which he died, and that's the way it should be.

Shelby and I can't begin to thank you all enough for all of the kind words of support you have posted, tweeted, texted, and emailed. The house is oddly, eerily quit right now. The dings on my phone indicating a message are a welcome distraction.

I can't really talk much- I get too choked up, so I'm glad to have this format to express my grief, anxiety, and profound depression. I know it will get easier. It just hurts so much at the moment.

Animals are the purest souls. I KNOW he is in a better place. And I know Poppa G will take care of him, and he'll sleep on Poppa G's belly... it's shaped just like mine!

Shelby Misses Her Pillow....

2011-05-22T16:48:00.000-05:00

I mean brother!!

The report on Jackson was not particularly encouraging today. Because of his weakness, they did not insert a peg tube into his stomach yesterday. He is being fed through the naso tube, and that seems to be helping him gain some strength. His liver tests, while definitely indicating fatty liver syndrome, are coming back higher than normal for that condition, indicating that something else may be wrong with the liver as well. The liver aspirate didn't show signs of cancer, but there is only so much the doctors can tell from that procedure. In addition, he has developed a slight fever, which could simply be an indication that with the help of antibiotics, he is fighting the infection in his bladder. He apparently continues to become a bit more active and alert, and even growled a bit at the doctor, which was taken as a good sign. Assuming that he continues to strengthen, tomorrow the doctors hope to place the peg tube. If he seems strong enough, and the liver results are still high, they may also biopsy the liver to gain a better understanding of what is going on there. Meanwhile, he continues to respond well to the insulin and his blood sugar appears stable. He still has absolutely no interest in feeding, but the doctors seem to think that perhaps he might take food from me tomorrow, so we will try that. I'm going to bring his favorite treat, Pill Pockets, to see if a familiar hand feeding a familiar bit might be more the the Prince's liking! The doctors are still somewhat encouraging, but today the doctor said the next 24 hours would probably give us a better indication of what the ultimate outcome will be.

On the homefront, today has been the worst day yet! Having my brothers here the past 2 days has been a blessing, and a very welcome distraction. Now that they are gone, I find myself tired, depressed, and at times weepy. Shelby seems okay, and luckily I've not had to leave her alone for any length of time, so I'm not sure how aware she is of his absence.

Your kind words and messages mean more to us right now than you can know! Please keep them coming, and continue to keep Jackson in your thoughts!

Tonight's Update on the Prince....

2011-05-21T22:04:00.000-05:00

The doctor called very late tonight- Jack had a long day of tests and procedures after I saw him this morning, when the poor dude did not look so good. He has a naso tube in his nose and an IV in his hind leg. Many parts of his body have been shaved, and his now bare belly is clearly very yellow from jaundice. He seemed very weak, but aware we were there, and in fact, when I petted him some small tears trickled down his cheek. This was heart-wrenching, as I recall Momma G doing the same thing after her stroke. The doctors assured me that he was stable and as comfortable as possible, and that he had a big day ahead of him.

Today, they inserted a feeding peg into his tummy so they can strengthen him with nom noms. The doctor called tonight and said that he seems to be gaining some strength, and that he is holding his head up more and seems more responsive. They were able to do the liver aspiration, which confirmed the fatty liver disease we expected. The medication seems to be lowering his bilirubin levels, which is good, and urinalysis confirmed a UT unfection, which is being treated with antibiotics. His potassium level is rising, which is probably why he is becoming stronger, and the insulin is getting his blood sugar back in line.

My little warrior let himself get REALLY sick before he went down, which leads me to urge all cat parents: don't ignore seemingly small symptons- get your baby to the vet and let them assess the situation. Their little bodies can go down fast when something serious goes wrong!

It was good to hear the doctor say "He's still not out of the woods, but, gosh, he seems better than this morning!'

I won't get to seem him tomorrow since there is no visitation at the clinic, but I should get a call from the doctor with an update on his condition.

Thanks again to everybody for your kinds words and thoughts- they mean more to me than you can imagine!