Okay, Biatches! Start Your Recaps!

The first episode of RuPaul's Drag Race just aired, and Miss G has got to tell you, it was better than the hour long orgasm she expected!! First of all, Miss G is a fan of the "occupational reality" format that this show takes. 2nd, it's about drag. And 3rd, it stars RuPaul, the Goddess of the entire universe! If you don't know who RuPaul is, she is the woman Tyra Banks imitates for a living.

Miss G won't do the full play by play recap because her attention span is way too short for that kinda thing. But she'll hit the highlights.

The show starts, as do all reality genres, with the arrival of the contestants. They enter one by one in full drag, meeting each other (presumably) for the first time. Of course, as drag queens they are checking each other out, and as gay men they are "checking each other out", if you know what I mean.

First on the scene is Shanell, who looks kind Sheena Easton in her cast portrait, but is much prettier on camera. And as a boy, she has got the most beautiful turqwase eyes Miss Ginger has ever seen!

The queens spill in one by one, revealing them selves as Nina (the severe one), Rebecca Glasscock (the cutest as a boy), Ongina (the one Miss G thought would go home first), Victoria "Pork Chop" (no surprise a fomer Miss Continental at Large), and blah blah blah. Check out the cast roster on Logoonline for the full rundown.

First challenge: be photog'd by a sexy photographer while 2 black musclemen in speedos spray water on you and a car. Note to producers: wet drag queens are not sexy, they are just runny. Anyway, after the girls dry off they get to check each other out as boys for the first time. Cue the lesbian comments. Next, Boy RuPaul explains to them that their next challenge is to create their own outfit from thrift store clothing and dollar store crap. Oh, and the guest judge will be Santino Rice from Project Runway. I guess Tim Gunn was busy. Let the train wreck begin.

Ongina channels Biork. Nina channels the 80's. Victoria channel HR Puffenstuff. And Tammie Brown channels a package of Handi Wipes. By the end it's narrowed down to Akashia and "Pork Chop" who must go head to head in a "drag down smack down" lipsync of RuPaul's hit "Supermodel". Akashia is told to "Shante" (stay) and Pork Chop is asked to "Sashay" (away). So much for the fat queen! I guess Miss Ginger's hope of ever being a drag superstar sashayed away with Pork Chop- I'm pretty sure we wear the same size!

Anyway, if you don't have Logo, call your cable or satellite operator immediately. This show is pure genius! Oh, wait, that's on another network!

Miss Ginger is Sitting Pretty!

Of course Miss Ginger is sitting pretty! She's always pretty! But she's pretty happy, too, because she still has a job!
If you read a paper or watch the news, you will probably see the story that "America's Favorite Department Store" has announced 7,000 jobs eliminated nationwide. It sounds like a huge number, but it's only 4% of a workforce totally over 150,000 people!
Rumors have been circulating throughout the company literally for years, and with the current state of the economy we all knew something was coming down the pipe. And we knew it would happen this week, since it's the first week of the new fiscal year. We just didn't realize how drastic it would be.
Since the merger 3 years ago, we have operated as 4 "divisions" with buying offices in New York, Atlanta, Miami, and San Francisco. Each had a full set of officers and buyers, as well as marketing, accounting, HR, etc. Huge offices each with lots of people, working as 4 parallel units with it's own group of stores. Now it will be one really huge office, with the same functions serving 800 stores at the same time. Most of the layoffs will happen in Atlanta, Miami, and San Francisco, and Miss G is so sorry that some great people in Atlanta will be losing their jobs.
But interestingly enough, there is one job function in the entire organization that will benefit from this new structure. As divisions are eliminated, our stores will be aligned into regions, and regions into districts. The whole idea is to push more of the decision making out of huge divisional offices and move it into mulitple district offices across the country. The pivitol position in this whole restructure is Miss Ginger's position, which gets divided into 2! So Miss G will get a partner to do 1/2 of her job (planning), her least favorite part, and she will continue to do the other half (merchandising), which is her favorite part of the job. And she keeps her same boss whom she adores, so that makes it all the better!
Here's the announcement in Houston. Chances are there will be a similar article in your local paper!

Macy's says it's cutting 7,000 jobs
Chronicle staff and wire
Feb. 2, 2009, 1:14PM

NEW YORK -- Macy’s Inc. announced today that it will cut 7,000 jobs, or 4 percent of its work force, and slash its dividend as the department store chain looks to lower expenses and preserve cash amid a severe pullback in consumer spending.
Cincinnati-based Macy’s said the job cuts, which include some unfilled jobs, will come at offices, stores and other locations. The company currently employs about 180,000 people.
A spokesman for the chain in Houston declined comment on possible cuts in this area, referring questions to national information officials who weren't immediately available.
Macy’s had already announced last month that it would close 11 stores, affecting 960 employees, after retailers suffered through the worst holiday season in decades.
Macy’s said it expects the latest job cuts and other actions to lower its selling, general and administrative expenses by about $400 million annually starting in 2010.
The company also slashed its quarterly dividend to 5 cents from 13.25 cents. The dividend will be paid on April 1 to shareholders of record March 13.
Department stores have been especially hard-hit by the poor economy as shoppers turn to discount stores. Last month, department store chain Gottschalks Inc. put itself up for sale and said it had filed to reorganize in a Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Neiman Marcus Group Inc. said it was cutting about 375 jobs.
Macy’s also announced plans to roll out its strategy to localize merchandising to specific markets on a national scale. It began testing the strategy in 20 regional markets last spring.
As part of the restructuring, the company will begin eliminating its Macy’s division structure and integrating all functions into a single organization. Macy’s central buying, merchandise planning, stores senior management and marketing functions will be located primarily in New York.
Corporate-related businesses functions such as finance, human resources, law property development and purchases will be located primarily in Cincinnati.

Frigid....

That little groundhog saw its shadow, leaving all my yankee friends with 6 more weeks of winter.
Here in south Texas, our highs will be in the mid 60's and our lows wth dip down to the 40's.
February begins our gardening season; ceremoniously in Texas, we prune back the roses the day after Valentine's to start their flush of new growth, and before you know it we're spending the summer fighting back weeds. Gardening in Texas isn't like gardening in the north- it's not about encourging things to grow! It's about controlling the growth of the plants you want to keep them neat and "in bounds", and eliminating the sprouts, shoots, runners, and weeds from all the plants you don't want before they take over the yard.
Miss G grounds are a mess right now! As soon as the ball is over, she will have to get Boy G out there with a rake and shovel to get it pretty enough to post pics for you!

Pssst!

Hey, GingerSnaps, look over to your right... on the sidebar. While we weren't paying attention, we hit another milestone: 25 followers!! Woohoo!
Now, we certainly don't have the widespread appeal of the DustDaddy, or the emormous web popularity (webularity?) of that adorable couple from Nutwood, but we are indeed growing as a family of movers, shakers, and 'Snappers!
Keep reading, and tell your friends to read!
And PLEASE keep commenting! It helps me give you what you want, and it gives me what I want: attention!!! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE??!! Thank you, I LOVE attention!

Glitter and Be Gay!

Miss Ginger LOVES glitter! It can make anything sparkly and more FABULOUS! Through her work with the Krewe, she has become quite the expert at glittering, and we buy it by the pound, literally! We have perfected many techniques for the application of glitter over large surfaces, including the "spray paint and shake" technique (only works for a light dusting) and the Elmers and acrylic paint mix to make a good "crust" of solid color on a surface!The secret to a perfect glitter application is to get a matching paint color under the glitter, so the correct color shows through instead of whatever the background color was! You can use tiny artist brushes for detail work (let touching colors dry before adding the next), or paint rollers to cover large areas quickly. And there are members of the Krewe who pride themselves on being able to create any color of the rainbow by shaking the appropriate colors of glitter together. 2 years ago, Miss Ginger had to make "raw meat"! That color took some practice!

Glitter can also be a pain in the ass! Sometimes it sticks to everything except what you want it to! Even though Miss Ginger has a strict "no glittering in the house" policy, it follows her in from the garage in a cloud, like Pigpen on a Peanuts cartoon! You would think it would be easy to vacuum it from a hardwood floor, but it gets a static charge that makes it cling for dear life! A Swiffer does a little better, but it still misses a lot! It ends up in the car. The driveway sparkles in the moonlight. I even find it in the cats' fur! By the time the ball gets here, Miss Ginger's buggers are sparkly!

But in one week, when the ball is over and broken down, we can begin the process of "degliterring" the house. Between Celia and me, we should be able to get it all out by April. Just in time to start preparations for Miss Mint Julep....... Oh, well!

I guess Miss Ginger is just destined to live a glittering life! She just wishes in wouldn't find it's way into every corner and crevice!

Sleestacks

In Miss Ginger's last post she referred to the Olsen twins as "looking like sleestacks", and at least one faithful reader was lost in her youth.

Sleestacks were the monsters on a (really bad) live action Saturday Morning children's show called "Land of the Lost." It was a stupid schtick with an obnoxious family lost in the past, and everytime they would find a way to escape, the sleestacks would show up and ruin it for them. As gross as the sleestacks were, even as a child I kinda found myself rooting for them because the family was so smarmy and disgusting in a 1974 kind of way. The 'stacks made this horrible, whistling wet breathing kind of noise that can most accurately be duplicated, if you care to do so, by parting your lips and sucking saliva back through your teeth. That sound horrified me a child and it horrifies me today. Kinda like the Olsen twins. And there was never one sleestack; they traveled in packs. And just when the family was about to make their escape back to whatever was their appropriate era, the horrified kids would squeal "the sleestacks!" Kind of like Miss Ginger does when she sees Mary Kate and Alice on E! Entertainment television.

Any way, you can see the resemblance between the 2 sets of creatures in the side-by-side above.

1. Both creatures have ridiculously huge, black-ringed eyes that never seem to blink or close.

2.Both creatures have enormous mouths with frozen expressions on faces that seem to remain motionless.

3.Both creatures have 2 sets of holes in the middle of their face where a human's nose would be.

I think the resemblance is uncanny!

Winehouse's TrainWreck®, er, StyleSession®

Miss Ginger's StyleSession® with British Pop/jazz singer Amy Winehouse left her a little depressed. It's a sad story of a pretty young girl whose life was ruined by fame and scrutiny. Truly, my heart goes out to Ms. Winehouse. The girl clearly has issues for which she needs help. Miss Ginger truly hopes she gets the help she needs.

Meanwhile, Miss Amy, here's something Miss G CAN help you with- that Train Wreck you call a "style"!

DO remember that you didn't start out as a freak of nature! You can be quite a striking beauty with appropriate styling!
DO work the 60's vibe hairdo! It works for you, and when correctly done, it's stylish, not weird!
DO wear cotton dresses- they are your friend! They give your very (very!) thin frame a bit of presence!

Speaking of thin, DO eat a sandwich every now and then! All those adult "treats" you enjoy make you look like you are not sufficiently nourished!

And now, Amy Winehouse, your fashion DONT'S:

DON'T wear a bra with a strapless dress- it's overkill. And it's not like you've got that much to hold up, anyway!

DON'T hang out with the Olsen twins- they do nothing for your fashion reputation! And the fact that there's more than one of them makes them look even more like sleestaks!

DON'T forget to add a stylish handbag when you go shoplifting, er, shopping! It will provide a finishing touch to your outfit and provide a place to stash your loot, er, groceries!

DON'T forget to steal, er, eat a sandwich!

DON'T wear outfit color-cooridinated to your beer can. It's gauche and pretentious!

I hope those of you who voted for Miss Winehouse are happy with Miss Ginger's presentation.

She is throwing up a little right now!