Good News!!

Sort of!  


The butt doctor said that Boy G does NOT have hemorrhoids!  And, she said that was good news!


What Boy G has is an "anal fissure".

A fissure, as demonstrated by the photo above, is a crack in the surface.  In the case of an anal fissure, it's a crack in the surface of one's crack.  If you have the stomach for it, google "anal fissure" for the true picture.  Queen G couldn't bear to post it!

The bad news is, an anal fissure is much more painful than hemorrhoids.  This explains the throbbing, relentless, sleep-preventing pain that our poor Boy has been experiencing!

The good news is: the prognosis is much better!  Fissures often heal on their own, but since this one has lasted 3 months, it's probably going to need some help!  So, the doctor prescribed a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory to help with the pain and inflammation (the narcotics the Boy has been taking may actually make things worse!) and a compound containing nitroglycerin to help the thing heal.  The nitroglycerin will  improve circulation in the area to promote natural healing.  If those haven't worked in about a month, the doctor may try a botox injection to help relax the area, again with the goal of giving the wound time to heal, and giving Boy G the smoothest, most wrinkle-free puckerhole in all of Texas!

Finally, if all else fails,  the surgery for a fissure is much less invasive and much less painful than the surgery for hemorrhoids!

So, GingerSnaps, the message here is simple: be kind to your assholes!  If something doesn't feel right, don't brave the pain: see your doctor! Don't be embarrassed! Think of it this way: your doctor sees more assholes in a day than most of us meet in a lifetime!  Why should YOU be embarrassed about THAT?!

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish!

Can you believe that someone has actually created a website called "Boycott Houston" that is calling for "Christians" across Texas to boycott the city of Houston because we elected a gay mayor and are allowing Planned Parenthood to build one of their largest clinics ever!?

It is the most ridiculous, pitiful thing I have ever seen!

First of all, here's the "about us" quip from their website:

"Do you want a Texas version of San Francisco? Neither do we!Do you want Texas to be the abortion capital of America? Neither do we!Houston has elected an openly homosexual mayor and built the largest abortion clinic in the United States and you can do something about it!
While you may or may not be a resident of Houston and eligible to vote for mayor, you can vote with your dollar.
This is why we are calling on Christians everywhere to boycott the city of Houston.
We want to impose “economic sanctions” on Houston, Texas!
Please make your voice heard and join our cause. By signing the online petition you send Houston a message; That you are tired of babies being
murdered and the radical homosexual agenda being shoved down the throat of normal society."

It's so ridiculous on so many levels! I think my favorite part is on their "missions" page, where they declare:

"While not everyone in Houston is responsible for voting for a homosexual mayor or for building a Planned Parenthood version of Auschwitz, a boycott is the best way, and in many cases the only way for those not living in Houston to have a positive effect for righteousness in that city. Those in Houston who dare to call themselves ”Christians” are largely at fault for allowing these two abominations to happen. If everyone who calls on the name of Christ had gone out and voted against the newly elected mayor, she would have been defeated in a landslide. "

Really?! Are you people really so deluded that you think you have the numbers to back this up?! Houston is a VERY international city! I'm pretty sure if you totalled up the muslims, hindus, buddhists, jews, agnostics, atheists, wiccans, and undeclareds, not to mention the number of Christian GLBTQ citizens who don't share your narrow view of Christianity, you would find that we can and did outnumber your self-righteous asses! Screw your narrow view of "normal" society!

Oh, and the whole thing is the brainchild of some asshat preacher from Amarillo! Double WTF? It's clear across the state from Houston- why do you even fucking care?

And as for your boycott- I've seen the way your "Christian Masses" fleece our coffers when you travel on your "pilgrammages"! You stay 4 to a room at Motel 6, take all your meals at Denny's, drink iced tea, stiff the waitress, and don't shop or visit museums or otherwise leave your money behind because you spend the whole weekend in "bible study"! I'm pretty sure our economy is not gonna crumble, thankyouverymuch!

So, Christian Wrong, here is one drag queen who is decidedly NOT going to support your boycott!

So far there are like 3 comments on your blog- I'm pretty sure this post will get more than that!

Slow News Day!

Not a lot to blog about- can't even find a juicy story in the Chronicle to get me riled up! There were a few tidbits, but I just can't too excited about them- maybe Miss Ginger is overmedicated!
So here are the headlines- in a tranny flash!
Dateline Galveston- some asshole held the door open at "the Undercurrent" while some other asshole threw rocks in. 3 queens got bonked on the head, but the bitches that hang out there are such drunks they prolly didn't feel it. The police are calling it a hate crime.
Dateline Dallas- some asshole jumped out of an American Airlines plane after it landed at DFW while it was waiting on the tarmac. Just bussed right up past those stewardesses that were sitting there, moved that huge honkin' handle all by himself before anyone stopped him, and slip down the ensuing slide into the waiting arms of 2 luggage handlers who hauled him to the cops. I guess he's in the pokey now.
Dateline Canada- some asshole who chopped a mans head of on a Greyhound bus and then ate him in front of all the other passengers plead "not guilty". The devil made him do it. Swear to God! (He ain't from these parts!)
Dateline Huntsville- some asshole who murdered an old lady at gunpoint was put to death by lethal injection. We do that here in Texas. Hope he got a fair trial, 'cause there ain't no going back now!

Not the greatest news, but I don't make the shit up, folks. I just report it!
This is Miss Ginger Grant, saying "Good night, and good riddance!"