Miss Ginger's Golden Globes StyleSession!

The Golden Globes have come and gone, and honestly, Miss Ginger has no idea who won anything! She didn't watch the boring telecast of the actual awards, but she did actually watch the red carpet portion of the telecast on E!, and she must admit that there is something good about being able to see the dresses enter, move, and flow on the red carpet!   That first impression is really what a red carpet dress is all about!


If you recall last years' round of awards shows, it was all about austerity and subdued glamor as Hollywood tried to appear relevant with the times: tough economy, high unemployment, etc.  Well, apparently in 12 short months they think everyone got jobs and became rich, because this year's fashion parade was definitely over the top glamor!  Choo! Choo! Here come the trains!!


Really,  the Golden Globes arrival looked more like a choreographed fashion show than a gathering of organic glamor.  It was too consistent, in terms of colors, styles, and silhouettes. The number of full trains bordered on ridiculous.  The color story was VERY limited. The black. The "pop" color was forest green.  There were way too many "fleshy" colors".  And lots of red, in all the wrong places!  Why do stars insist on wearing RED on the RED carpet?!  And Miss G is not sure what to make of this naked neck phenomenon!


So let's get started!  We'll begin with
 "the Good":

Amy Adams gown was red carpet friendly in a deep shade of blue that looked great with her skin.  The shape flattered her, and the ruffles, though a bit much, weren't a distraction.  Definitely a red carpet winner!

Mandy Moore went for a similar color scheme in a dress with a great shape as well. The tulle at the bottom makes it look as if she's walking in a cloud, but the bit at the top is overkill some someone as young and pretty as she!

Kat Kramer probably did black better than anybody tonight.  Kat is totally working the Miss Ginger look, complete with oversprayed red flip and a hands-on-hip attitude! Snap, girl!

Lea Michelle was adorable in this Oscar de le Renta monstrosity!  When they said such a tiny little thing was going to wear OdlR Miss G thought "it will eat her up" but she had the glamour and presence to pull it off!  If she had worm her hair up and lot of jewelry she would have looked like she was playing dress up,  but with her casual hair and minimal bling, she looks  stunning, chic, and youthful!  

Anne Hathaway did the best with fleshtones tonight.  Her sequined gown was appropriately sparkled, and it fit her beautifully.  It's nice to see a young woman show sexy without baring half her body!  Miss G thinks Anne is so classy and pretty:  she nominates her for "Princess of Hollywood!"






















and, if AH is the princess, make way for Her Royal Highness, the Queen of Hollywood, it's realms, and baronies:

Katherine Zeta Jones!  Anyone else may have looked a bit "Gone with the Wind" in this full-skirted forest green gown, but KZJ pulls it off with elegance!  With her body she can wear just about anything, and her coloring begs for rich, deep tones like this!  Truly a gown fit for the Queen of Hollywood!






















Now, 
"the Bad":

"Oh, my God, Christina: that dress makes your butt look SO big!"  And not in a good way! Maybe it's the pose, but that thing makes her ass look wider than her shoulders!  She looks like Charo on a bad episode of the Love Boat!

Halle Berry, did your dress get caught in the door when you got out of the limo? Or is that just a shower curtain you wrapped around your waist at the last minute when you heard everyone else would be wearing trains?  Maybe it's a swim suit and cover up, because you forgot the awards were today?  Whatever the reason, it's bad.  We've come to expect more from you!

Annette Benning, Miss Ginger has three words for you:  1.) Hairdresser!    2.) Contacts!   3.) Whitestrips!


And the dress reminds me of something my friend Cravyn Morehead whipped up for Halloween one year.  When she had 10 minutes. And wanted to be a witch.

Miss Ginger is sick to death of seeing Nicole Kidman in this dress!  Oh, wait! It's not the same dress... it just LOOKS like the same dress. Because every dress she ever wears looks EXACTLY the same!  But it must make it easy for a busy starlett to get dressed for these things! "Hmmm, which board straight, detail-less, no color number shall I wear today?"


Miss Ginger has tried to like Nicole.  Really, she has!  But I think she's a wimpy, whiny, washed out little girl... and her evening wardrobe proves my point!

January Jones looks like she's headed to the porn awards.  This dress is not elegant... it's vulgar and tasteless.

Morticia Addams meets Lily Munster.  And they went and smushed Eva Longoria's boobs!

Sedgwick the Sea Monster.  And some old man who looks kinda like Kevin Bacon.

Someone PLEASE hire this bitch a stylist!  Why does Tilda Swinton ALWAYS wear those horrible separates that are oversized, ugly, and not even evening wear!  And who told her pink shoes go with a yellow skirt?  She looks like a little kid playing dress up with her mother AND father's Easter outfits! You look dykey enough already, honey-  you need girl clothes if you want to look pretty!


















But wait:  that's not the worst thing the UK sent us!  Check out:
"The Ugly!"

Helena Bonham Carter, get your head out of the crack pipe and quit wearing Vivienne Westwood!  In the 90's, her quirky style was, well, quirky.  But at least it was fresh.  Now it's just kinda tired and Cyndi Lauperish!  Put this Vivienne Westwood rag in the back of your closet next to all those horrible Betsy Johnson things you wore to your high school proms and get some grown up cothes!  Or, better yet, sell them on eBay and you can buy some shoes that match!\
















Stay tuned, folks!  Can't wait to see what this bitches will wear to the Oscars!!

Really, Michael K?

All you fashionistas out there probably already know that the merchandise deliveries that stores receive during late December and early January are referred to as "cruise" or "resort" deliveries, as opposed to "spring", "summer", "fall", and "holiday". Cruise deliveries, by far the smallest of the 5 main deliveries, are intended to give those fashion-starved individuals who are tired of looking at the same ole sweaters a chance to add something fresh and new to their wardrobe. These resort-inspired deliveries typically inject color into the offering, often with nautical or spectator detailing. Aimed at the "jet set", they are, by nature, multi-functional, allowing the wearer options for everything from a cruise vacation to a week of skiing in the Alps!


So, now that you conjured up images of blue blazers, white pants, and cotton sweaters, all appropriate vestiges of cruise collections,  take a look at what our friend Michael Kors is showing for cruise this year:

Really, Michael?!  In this season of change, when you had the chance to work with vivid colors and bold patterns, all we get is this sad, brown dress- with a cardigan?!  And whats with the puddle around the bottom- did you run out of time before you got a chance to put in the hem?  I mean, what woman would wear this?  Where is she going- to a "Grey Gardens" party? And that hat? It looks like you had extra material from the sweater and thought: "Hey! I'll just whip up a hat, too!"  Vacations are supposed to be joyful! Where is the joy in this outfit?  

Miss Ginger would love to hear what Nina and Heidi would have to say about this one!  She knows what Isaac Mizrahi would say: "buh bye, darling!"

Fanning the STANK- Miss G's Project Runway Opinion

A sick and feverish Miss Ginger watched the 2nd from finale Project Runway last night with disgust and nausea- from more than just this bug she's been battling the last few days! Even though she had been able to keep down water for about 8 hours, she was glad she still had her puke bucket handy when Gretchen's "fashions" came down the runway!

Miss Ginger just does not get Gretchen's sense of "style" one little bit. First of, this is a runway fashion show, not the hemp fibers section at Whole Earth Provision! Not that there's anything WRONG with that, if it's your "aesthetic". But you don't have to go to New York fashion week to get it. You can find it in the corner of an urban flea market in most major metropolitan areas.

And Gretchen loves to market her garments as "wearable" for "real women", but what real woman is going to walk around in this Mobius strip of a garment, hoping an updraft doesn't raise her skirt and drop her top! Miss Ginger is not even a real woman, and she wouldn't tie herself up in that to take out the garbage!

Gretchen said she wanted to play with print mixing, and to do something exciting with animal prints. Well, dear, the rules of print mixing are simple and finite: one print must take the lead, and the other must recede into a "solid". Cheat off of Mondo- he's a master at it. Oh, and PS- there's nothing fresh or exciting about leopard print- it's a little trick we retailers throw at you every year in July like clockwork. We call it "transitional", because it's too early for full-on fall, but too late to bring in spring. It's the same reason you get "spectator" every January. It's as cliche as it comes! And because you included the little "flesh belt" of which you are so fond, you have struck the fatal combination of UGLY and FIGURE FAILING! AUF! Why are you still here wasting oxygen that could nourish the minds of talented designers like Andy and Mondo. my little Mondo!

And that leaves Michael C. Poor Michael C. Poor pitiful Michael C. Poor Michael C who Ivy and Natalie trashed, and Nina and Heidi bashed, and Michael Kors envisioned naked every night before bedtime! If it had not been for Kors, we all know Michael C would have been gone a long time ago.

As snarky as that last paragraph sounded, Miss Ginger is not a Michael C. hater. There are a few truths she holds to be self-evident:

1. His technical skills, while questioned at the beginning, proved themselves in the end.

2. He got screwed on the whole color palette criticism. It's not like Gretchen had 1,000 shades of ugly in her collection!

3. His "schlock it out" vs. "make it work" mentality serves his effortless chic aesthetic well. While others spent hours torturing fabric into submission, he spoke to several pieces of fabric and worked with the ones that spoke back. When it worked, it worked!

4. His breakdown at the end was cringe invoking.

Miss Ginger is not a Michael C hater, and she really would rather have seem him go to Fashion Week vs. Gretchen. Plain and simple, she hates Gretchen's aesthetic. Granolawear has absolutely no appeal to Miss G. Michale C's glam aesthetic, when spot on, was beautiful. Miss Ginger is not sure he has the experience or formal education to WIN fashion week, but it would have been more interesting to see his collection than more of Gretchen's cat vomit.

The one that really nauseated an already dispeptic Miss Ginger the most was Michael C's boyfriend, heretofore known as "Outtie". "Outtie" outted Michael C to his parents, and forced an issue that every gay man should be allowed to handle on their own. No one has the right to out another human being- that's as cruel and unjust as it gets!

And what kind of gay man is Outtie anyway? THE Tim Gunn is coming to your home for lunch, and the best you can come up with is white rice in a Sam's Club aluminum foil pan? It's TIM fucking GUNN for Chrissake- do we have to have the POTS on the table?! Go to Macy's and pick up a couple of decent platters and a bowl- Martha Stewart makes them by hand- and they're cheap!! Hell, steal a "tablescape" from Sandra Lee if you have to- but aluminum foil hotel pans?! What is this- the church bring-a-pot?!

Miss Ginger is as obsessed by a lovely table as she is by lovely fashion... but you knew that, didn't you.

Channel Your Inner Meana Garzilla!

Who says Marie Claire is the only place worthy of a fashion director? Miss Ginger's pretty sure we have at least 70 of them right here on TFBOFGG, and now, America's Favorite Department Store gives us a chance to prove just that!

Check out Macy's Fashion Director Sitelet to see what all the cool chics and dudes will be wearing this season, and enter the Daily Fashion Challenge to show the world all the great looks you can put together!

Now, as a highly skilled fashion professional, it would be unfair for Miss G to enter the contest against all the amateur fashonistas out there, but she has put together a couple of "looks" just to show you how cool the site is!

Today's Challenge was to "create a look to meet your ex for coffee." Miss G started by creating a look for Boy G. She wanted him to look youthful, spirited, and confident. She chose a pink Polo from Ralph Lauren, Seven for All Mankind Jeans, and Puma sneaks for a look that says "too busy and fun for you!" Boy G has an ex, and he could total rock this look at Starbucks with him!

Next, Miss Ginger created a look for herself! She has no exes, as she never ends a relationship! Even the biggest asshat on Earth may prove useful to her at some point in life! But, there's always room for one more, so Miss G started with a knock out Jones New York dress in electric blue, her signature color! Then, she added the sexiest ankle-strap stilletos she could find, and perfectly coordinated accessories to complete the ensemble!

Check out the site, and make a look or 2 for Miss Ginger! Please! And post a screen shot so we can all see your handiwork!