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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

There Comes a Time....

...when the most royal of carriages has seen it's better days and must be retired!  All those years roaming the roads of the baronies take its toll on the old girl's body... and it's tough on her coach, as well!
When Queen Ginger procured her last carriage, she thought it extremely fancy with an XM radio and a cruise control, but she has discovered that the newest carriages have some advanced safety features that no Queen should live without!  These things are more life-saving than the Royal Guard!!  So, when your next carriage bites the dust, be sure your new ride has these important safety features!

Queen Ginger knew that new cars offered back-up cameras, but what she didn't know was how effective they are, or how much safer they make one feel!  Now, in addition to 2 side mirrors and a rear-view mirror,  a driver has a fourth view of the road, directly behind the vehicle!  If Mrs. Gichraux had that on her Mercury Comet back in 1974, a young Princess Ginger's gold Schwinn might not have been crushed to an untimely death on the neighbor's driveway!  Luckily, our dear Princess was not on it at the time!

Two other features that our Queen has recently learned about have already proven to be incredibly valuable!

Using radar,  today vehicles can actually detect moving traffic in the driver's blind spot!  Long before a passing vehicle reaches the range of a driver's mirror, much less their peripheral vision, Blindspot Lane Information Systems alert the driver to passing traffic with an indicator light on the side view mirror corresponding to the oncoming traffic.  If you've ever tried to change lanes on a busy freeway, you know how difficult it can be to find a safe opportunity to enter the next lane! 

Additionally,  detectors on the sides of the car activate when the car is in reverse, creating a Crosstraffic Detection System. If another vehicle is moving toward the car in a perpendicular position from either side, a cabin tone warns the driver.  This is incredibly handy in Queen Ginger's rather short carriageway, where she is oft-honked-at while trying to back out, fasten her seatbelt, and close the garage door while putting on mascara and touching up her lipstick!

Finally, did you know that modern carriages actually offer voice command, not only to operate functions of the vehicle, but many of the Queen's personal accouterments as well?  At the sound of her command, Queen Ginger can direct Lena Lincoln to cool the cabin, change the radio station, or guide her to the nearest Arby's!  Not only that, Lena is so intuitive she can also control the Queen's crackberry, her iPad, and several other must-have devices that today's busy Queens take everywhere! No more fumbling in her handbag while driving, only to miss an important call from one of her loyal subjects!  Lena connects with the Queen's phone as soon as she tosses her tiny little handbag on the front seat, and stands vigil, ready to broadcast a call over the stereo or send it to voicemail as the Queen commands.  She can even convert an incoming text message to voice, so the Queen can stay in touch without taking her eyes off the road!

Of course, our Queen never actually DOES any of these things- she has "people" to handle all of that!  But she COULD, if she WANTED to... it just wouldn't be, well, Royal-  ya know?!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Her Royal Carriage Awaits...

... and she shall be christened, and known for now and evermore as HRC Lena Lincoln V!!!

Could there be a more fitting name for a mocha-colored beauty of mixed heritage?  

I think not!

Let's hope this beautiful ride ages as well as her namesake did!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Help Name the Royal Carriage!

The naming of a Royal Carriage is serious business! This task is not to be taken lightly, for the Queen must depend upon this Royal conveyance for both her State Affairs and the day-to-day management of her Kingdom! Many stately coaches have come before her, so Her Royal Carriage V must have a name  even more powerful and important than her most memorable ancestors! (HRC III Sally Silverado can be seen in the background!)

There is specific protocol that MUST be followed in the naming of a Royal Coach!
1. All identities must begin with the "HRC" nomenclature, identifying the vehicle as both a Royal Carriage and a supporter of equal treatment for all!
2. The title must alliterate. (google it, Maddie!)  This is a long-standing tradition among Royal Carriages and must be followed!
3.  The values of the machine's origins should be respected.  Ethnic and cultural heritage should be evident in the naming.

That being said, we have a couple of "technical difficulties", but Queen Ginger is confident that her GingerSnaps are up to the task!

First, her actual "given" name is quite unwieldy. "MKX" is a rather unfortunate birth name, but we Royals have dealt with that for years!  I mean, "Shlesweig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg" doesn't have nearly the ring of, say, "Windsor", now does it? Perhaps we can focus on the name given by her father's side of the family, whose honesty and integrity shape the history of our country!

Secondly, she, like many Royals, is a bit of a "mutt". While she carries a decidedly American surname, she was actually assembled in Canada. And judging by the color of her skin, I'm pretty sure my dearly departed King Daddy would say she appears "to have a little cream in her coffee!"

So, what's it gonna be, dear GingerSnaps? Leave your recommendations for the new carriage's name in the comments!!

Incredibly Busy!!

WTF?!  Queen Ginger is just not important enough to be THIS busy!!!
So much has been going on that Lady G just doesn't know where to begin!

First of all, it had been HEINOUSLY hot here in Texas this summer!  And DRY!!  In this soggy, humidity-ridden part of the state, we have actually been asked to ration water and reduce our dependence on electrical energy! The City of Houston has given us specific watering days (Sunday and Thursday for you detail queens!) and  ERCOT  has warned of record weekend usage, possibly requiring rolling blackouts over the weekend!  How will Miss G dry her luxurious red hair?

Additionally, social obligations have been off the charts!  It started with the HRC Gala at the beginning of the summer, and it hasn't let up yet! Last weekend was the Krewe's Trash Disco Party, and Queen G is STILL soaking her feet from all of that "boogying" and such!

 On top of the social obligations, Boy G has been INSANELY busy at work, all in a good way, but there's never any rest for the winners!  Southern Decadence will be a "no go" for the G's this year... WAY too much going on, and too insanely hot to even consider attending! It's been a while since she's missed it, but this year, it's not in the cards!

And on top of all else,  the Queen decided her carriage did not befit a sovereign of her stature, so she has spent much of her online time as of late considering the options for new royal conveyance.

She's landed upon a model named after Amurca's 16th President,  and Queen G is proud to "Ride Amurcan", even though she knows it was assembled in Canada, from parts made in Malaysia!  But the engine and transmission were made in Amurca, dammit, hand assembled with loving care by migrant workers from Mexico!  It's as Amurcan as apple pie! 

Lest my dear sister DD think she is going to get a ride to Gristedes after my trip through the tunnel (above), that is NOT the CDQG (Carriage de Queen Ginger)!  Her's is a more royal bronze tone, with a limited interior only found on a a select few vehicles!  And ALL Royal Carriages MUST be named, so look forward to a photo tomorrow so you can share your opinion of a title befitting such a luxurious machine!

Speaking of luxurious, Miss Ginger finally got a tour of the FABULOUS new Legacy Montrose Clinic she has been working so hard to help fund! Actually, "luxurious" is probably not an appropriate word to describe the practical, efficient facility that has been built to LEED compliance, but for the Legacy staff that has been scattered across the far-flung, under-spaced facilities, I'm sure it will feel like a dream come true!  Not to mention the clients, who will now have comfortable, spacious, private waiting rooms reserved for their specific needs!  There are separate facilities for primary care, eye care, dental care, pediatric care, behavioral care... 3 floors of care, plus administrative offices all in one place!  Both Queen Ginger and Boy Ginger could not be prouder of the "baby" they have worked so hard to produce, along with countless others in the Houston community who understand the need for this crucial care!

If you're so inclined,  plan on attending the Grand Opening ceremony on October 16th!  Miss G is pretty sure she can score you a VIP tour!!

So, our busy gurl gets to put on her scrubs tomorrow and help Boy G clean out the garage!  We can't expect that beautiful machine to bake in the hot Texas sun now, can we?!


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