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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Miss Ginger is Embarrassed...

to admit how amused she is by this video!  Not that she thinks sexual assault is funny- that's SO not the point!  Nor is it the fact that crime runs rampant in areas with concentrations of relief housing- it seems as though our cities would protect that property the most vigilantly, since they own it!

She is just amused by the passion of the victim's brother- he is ready to THROW DOWN!!  Sister seems to be relatively nonplussed by the whole episode, but Brother Boy is MAD and he's NOT going to take it anymore- HOMEBOY!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

This Has Scandal Written All Over It!!!

January 28, 2011

Tim Tebow to teach Houstonians how to be real men

NFL athlete and Christian activist Tim Tebow will join pastors, Christian musicians and Christian comedians at a sold-out event in Champion Forest next week to discuss how men can step it up to be better leaders in their homes, workplaces and churches.

Miss Ginger would say that judging by the womanizing depicted here, he's up to the challenge of being a "real man"!

"My Minds a Blank!"

Miss Ginger has been so busy lately her mind's blank!!!
She's so busy, she doesn't know whether to scratch her watch or wind her butt!

She's got so much to do before this ball comes in 2 short weeks, she's not sure whether she's coming or going!!

Things are going okay with the costume- she just needs a few blocks of time to get some big stuff finished.  The invitations are kind of mess- cancellations,replacements, etc... she's just about got that straightened out, but she has to pick up more seating cards.

And that reminds her- she needs elastic. And buttons- shit- she forgot about those!

Damn, there's a lot to do!! No wonder she can't sleep!

She needs a personal assistant to go to work for her for the next 2 weeks so she can get all this shit together!  Any volunteers?! 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Start Your Engines!!

Last night was the premiere of the 3rd season of RuPaul's Drag Race, and since my dear friend David Dust doesn't catch Logo in his new abode, Miss Ginger thought she would do the sisterly thing and catch him up on the highlights!  Mind you, Miss G doesn't have the attention span for a full recap, so consider this highlight reel more like "Cream of RuPaul" soup!!

Our season begins, as all do, with the requisite tranny parade as the girls arrive, one by one, into the trannyshack. 

First in, Delta Work, a plus size girl with a sense of style and a strong presence.  Miss G liked her instantly.

Next, Carmen Carrera, the polar opposite of Delta. She is skinny, tragic, and Miss G took an instant dislike. Then, when that Joisey accent came out, it got even worse.  She's not as pretty as she thinks she is.

A few more queens trickle in, with no particularly notable characteristics.  Miss G's trusty sharpie scribbled their names, but the notes about them are pretty nondescript. 

Then enters Stacy Love Matthews, a big Southern Momma from Back Swamp, North Carolina.  Yes, you read that right... Back Swamp! You know it... it's just up the dirt road from Front Swamp... right next to Left Swamp!   Anyho,  Stacy channels a bit Mo'nique, a bit Nell Carter, and a whole lotta soul!  Miss G likes her!

After a few more queens, in walks Mariah. At first, Miss G thought she carried herself like an African American Shannel, but later in the episode she redeemed herself by helping a big queen out of a jam, so Miss G decided she must be good people!

Miss G racked her brain trying to think of who Alexis Mateo reminded her of, and then it hit her:  Georgia Engel, Georgette on the Mary Tyler Moore Show!  Not in appearance- Alexis is much darker; and not in sound- Alexis has a Puerto Rican accent!  It's just the way she hold her mouth and tongue.  Alexis is also the cutest boy of the group!!

The last queen in was Raja, who entered wearing this bizarre cyclops hat, not boobs, and tattoos on her arms.  Miss G was instantly turned off by her, but interestingly enough she won both challenges, so there must be something there.  Raja is one of the rare trannys who is actually much prettier as a boy than a girl, and she also found him to speak extremely well,  as though he has been well-educated and brought up in a very proper family.  Miss G wasn't so much intrigued by Raja, but she thinks Boy Raja would be interesting to get to know.

So, that the rundown of Miss Ginger's faves.  Who did you like?  Any prediction for a winner yet?

Monday, January 24, 2011

Miss Ginger is Dubious!

Would you buy a condo on a 600 ft long boat?  As much as the idea intrigues Miss Ginger, most condo investments lose their value faster than a sinking penny, so she can only imagine what would happen with a floating condo!

And while the idea of wintering in the South and summering in more northern climes is intriguing, Miss G doesn't think that's a very solid selling point. Seriously, think about how difficult it would be to live on this thing!

1. "Sorry I'm late, Boss. When I went to sleep I was in Texas, but this morning I woke up on the Mississippi Gulf Coast! Made for a hell of a commute!"

2."Honey, we're out of bread!"  "Tough shit!  Last time I ran to the grocery store I spent the summer on a park bench while you cruised the Ozarks!"

3."We're so glad you came to visit! Before I serve the salad, my husband will conduct a quick lifeboat drill. Your life jackets are located in a pouch under your dining room chair...."

4. "I know Johnny looks a little old for high school, but every time he missed the bus, it took another year before we could loop back and get him back into school!"

Would you live in a floating condo?  What sort of interesting predicaments could you foresee it causing?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday Gospel!

Check out the 2nd soloist- she's amazing!  More on Sylvie later! For now- Happy Sunday!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sometimes, Living in Texas Makes Miss Ginger Feel.....

.... you know.... not so fresh!

I guess that's the price she pays for living in a state where the morons she lives with elected this douchebag governess!!

Here's Rick Perry's latest dog and pony show:  In a feeble attempt at grandstanding to detract attention from his HORRIBLE budget deficit, Perry has once again adopted the GOP's default smoke screen- abortion.

He has actually rushed through a bill in an emergency session that would REQUIRE doctors to perform a sonogram on any woman requesting an abortion, describe the fetus to the woman, and play the fetal heartbeat for her to hear. Based on this ridiculous legislation, the patient would not be allowed to opt out.  She would be forced to endure a procedure she does not want!

But here's the ridiculous part!  This procedure would be forced upon a woman regardless of her reasons for terminating the pregnancy.  So, for the thousands of women on government assistance who may explore termination as an alternative to bringing a child into the world that she can't afford to raise, we are going to make it even more expensive by forcing an expensive medical procedure on her!  If she can't pay?  We'll make the state pay for it!  But wait- the state is FLAT BROKE!! As a matter of fact, $21 MILLION dollars in debt!!!

Maybe humanitarian Rick will just put all those sonograms on his gold Amex!!  

Meanwhile, these idiots in Texas are so naive to his stupidity that they won't notice he is driving the budget into the ground!!

Don't Buy Kitchen Aid Appliances!

They suck!!

When Miss Ginger and previous BF remodeled the house a few years back, they chose Kitchen Aid appliances for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, being gay boys, they liked the style and the way they looked in the showroom! But also, Momma G had a Kitchen Aid dishwasher that lasted for like 18 years, so they felt like they would be getting dependable appliances that last.  Not so much!

Miss Ginger is not a big baker, so this wall oven does not get used that often- more during the holidays than any other time, when it is put into full service mode, making turkeys, casseroles, sides, etc, and keeping said dishes warm until meal time. After that big workout, it seems a good cleaning is in order, so she typically runs the self clean cycle after the holidays.

The first time she did it, the thing apparently overheated and blew an internal fuse that is located on the back of the unit.  A quick, yet expensive service call later and it was back in the wall, working perfectly again.

Well, wouldn't you know, exactly one year later, after the holidays, the self-cleaning cycle blew the damn thing out again! Another service call. This time, Miss G determined she was going to watch the guy fix the thing, and sure enough, all he did was pull it out, replace a tiny fuse on the back, and shove it back in the wall.  This guy was chatty, so Miss G decided to pick his brain a bit.  "Why do you think my oven goes out every time I run the self-clean cycle?", she asks.  "Oh, these things are pieces of shit!", he says. "I replace 2 or 3 of these fuses a month- more around the holidays!"

Just fucking lovely, right?  It will cost Miss G +$200 every time she wants to clean the oven?!  So he says "I saw a memo about some sort of workaround to keep this from happening.  Let me move this fuse away from this vent hole over here to this solid area where it's less likely to overheat."   GRRRRRRR!  So Kitchen Aid built a weakness into the appliance to ensure a steady stream of service calls to make sure their products are paying them dividend long into the future!!!  And if Miss Ginger had not forced the issue with the serviceman, he would not have performed the workaround to fix it permanently! What a crock!

It's a shame, really, since the oven heats quickly and cooks beautifully when it works. But, due to this fatal design flaw, Miss G gives it:

(   )
no lipsticks!!

But wait- there's more Kitchen Aid shittiness coming your way!!

Miss G also bought this (incredibly expensive) dishwasher. She was forced to buy the overpriced top of the line, because at the time it was the only one available that could be retrofitted with a custom panel to match the cabinets.  

Again, it works great when it works- you really can just throw the plates in there without rinsing them, and they come out clean.

But, it now sits in the kitchen almost dead- it's only sign of life is a tiny little green light that blinks faintly, saying, in a dying whisper "buy me yet another heating element! I'm on strike until you do!"  This will be the 3rd heating element consumed by this 7 year old mongrel!

Miss G gives the Kitchen Aid dishwasher:

(  )
no lipsticks

And finally, the Kitchen Aid side by side refrigerator.  Actually, it's a relative neophyte in the service call arena, requiring only one in its short 7 year life, to fix the ice maker.  That one doesn't irritate Miss G as much, considering it's a moving part that runs constantly and lives in sub-zero temperatures.  Miss G did find it amusing, however, that the service man told her that the machine had stripped its gears because hard water had caused the teflon to tear away from the ice mold, causing the ice to freeze up the mechanism.  Um, Miss G has a water softener that serves the entire plumbing supply- no hard water here, Mr.!!  

(   )
no lipsticks!

So, Miss G is gonna fix that damn dishwasher one more time- but if it breaks again, she's getting a new one!  What kind of appliances do you have? Do you like them? Are they reliable?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Veronique Volvo on Autopilot?!

Miss Ginger is not sure she's ready to let Veronique run on autopilot just yet, but this idea is way more intriguing to Miss G than you might think!

One of the things that Texans love about Texas is the "wide open spaces"... their ability to "roam the range" freely.  Texas is home to more miles of road than any other state in the union, and much if it is in the wide open spaces that connect 3 of the 10 largest cities in the country!  While this system may not seem to make much sense on the open road, we are closer to a use for it than one might imagine!

With all that roadway comes traffic, and in Texas' largest city, traffic can at times be a nightmare!  4 major highways converge on downtown Houston, and a ring of highway connects them in a loop around the inner part of the city.  Getting people into and out of this loop efficiently every day is a challenge that has confounded city planners for years.

While this system could take years or decades to legalize on open roads that would be shared by cars not so equipped, it would be as much easier sell in a place where it could operate independently of traffic that was not computer guided. There is a place where Texas could implement the system safely and inexpensively as soon at it is ready!  

Houston is laced with a system of HOV lanes- "High Occupancy Vehicle" lanes that are managed by the public transportation system.  They were devised as bus lanes to move commuters from "Park and Ride" lots in the suburbs to their downtown workplaces, but they also allow carpoolers to use the lanes to make them more widely used. Park and Riders are saved the expense of parking downtown, plus can use their commute time for reading, napping, or anything other than driving.  The sacrifice is their mobility within the city.  Houston is not particularly walkable, so they are pretty much stuck for the day. Most of the HOV lanes reverse at noon... they are inbound in the am and outbound in the pm.  Access is limited to controlled on and off ramps, and once you're in the lane, you are walled off from other lanes of traffic.  

Miss Ginger has often wondered why they didn't lay tracks down the lanes and replace those stinky buses with electric trains, but that creates the problem of getting the people all the way into downtown from the freeway.  Also, for those who need their cars downtown, it eliminates the benefit of carpooling. 

But, think if this Sartre system where applied to the HOV lanes!!!  You could only use the HOV lanes if you drive a specifically equipped vehicle. The buses could be retrofitted with the lead system, so you wouldn't need special drivers or vehicles to maintain the pace. To use the system, one would simply drive to the park and ride location, line up behind a loading bus, and set their vehicle to autopilot!  The car would follow the bus into the protected lane and stay close behind it on the way downtown, with other computer controlled cars in sync.  They could read, text, sleep, or whatever during the commute.  Rumble strips and cabin signals could alert them when they are reaching the end of the HOV, at which point the car would revert to driver mode, and the human driver could steer to the destination of their choice!

Because the system manages speed, acceleration, and braking,  the entire trip would be programmed to maximize the efficiency of each vehicle in the train.  The computer controls distance between cars more effectively than a human can, so the cars can be placed closer together to allow more cars to travel the same road in less time.  And accidents would be reduced because the system can slow the entire train at the same rate, keeping the cars the same distance apart.

This brilliant concept might almost make Miss Ginger willing to live in the suburbs. ALMOST!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Miss Ginger's Golden Globes StyleSession!

The Golden Globes have come and gone, and honestly, Miss Ginger has no idea who won anything! She didn't watch the boring telecast of the actual awards, but she did actually watch the red carpet portion of the telecast on E!, and she must admit that there is something good about being able to see the dresses enter, move, and flow on the red carpet!   That first impression is really what a red carpet dress is all about!

If you recall last years' round of awards shows, it was all about austerity and subdued glamor as Hollywood tried to appear relevant with the times: tough economy, high unemployment, etc.  Well, apparently in 12 short months they think everyone got jobs and became rich, because this year's fashion parade was definitely over the top glamor!  Choo! Choo! Here come the trains!!

Really,  the Golden Globes arrival looked more like a choreographed fashion show than a gathering of organic glamor.  It was too consistent, in terms of colors, styles, and silhouettes. The number of full trains bordered on ridiculous.  The color story was VERY limited. The black. The "pop" color was forest green.  There were way too many "fleshy" colors".  And lots of red, in all the wrong places!  Why do stars insist on wearing RED on the RED carpet?!  And Miss G is not sure what to make of this naked neck phenomenon!

So let's get started!  We'll begin with
 "the Good":

Amy Adams gown was red carpet friendly in a deep shade of blue that looked great with her skin.  The shape flattered her, and the ruffles, though a bit much, weren't a distraction.  Definitely a red carpet winner!

Mandy Moore went for a similar color scheme in a dress with a great shape as well. The tulle at the bottom makes it look as if she's walking in a cloud, but the bit at the top is overkill some someone as young and pretty as she!

Kat Kramer probably did black better than anybody tonight.  Kat is totally working the Miss Ginger look, complete with oversprayed red flip and a hands-on-hip attitude! Snap, girl!

Lea Michelle was adorable in this Oscar de le Renta monstrosity!  When they said such a tiny little thing was going to wear OdlR Miss G thought "it will eat her up" but she had the glamour and presence to pull it off!  If she had worm her hair up and lot of jewelry she would have looked like she was playing dress up,  but with her casual hair and minimal bling, she looks  stunning, chic, and youthful!  

Anne Hathaway did the best with fleshtones tonight.  Her sequined gown was appropriately sparkled, and it fit her beautifully.  It's nice to see a young woman show sexy without baring half her body!  Miss G thinks Anne is so classy and pretty:  she nominates her for "Princess of Hollywood!"

and, if AH is the princess, make way for Her Royal Highness, the Queen of Hollywood, it's realms, and baronies:

Katherine Zeta Jones!  Anyone else may have looked a bit "Gone with the Wind" in this full-skirted forest green gown, but KZJ pulls it off with elegance!  With her body she can wear just about anything, and her coloring begs for rich, deep tones like this!  Truly a gown fit for the Queen of Hollywood!

"the Bad":

"Oh, my God, Christina: that dress makes your butt look SO big!"  And not in a good way! Maybe it's the pose, but that thing makes her ass look wider than her shoulders!  She looks like Charo on a bad episode of the Love Boat!

Halle Berry, did your dress get caught in the door when you got out of the limo? Or is that just a shower curtain you wrapped around your waist at the last minute when you heard everyone else would be wearing trains?  Maybe it's a swim suit and cover up, because you forgot the awards were today?  Whatever the reason, it's bad.  We've come to expect more from you!

Annette Benning, Miss Ginger has three words for you:  1.) Hairdresser!    2.) Contacts!   3.) Whitestrips!

And the dress reminds me of something my friend Cravyn Morehead whipped up for Halloween one year.  When she had 10 minutes. And wanted to be a witch.

Miss Ginger is sick to death of seeing Nicole Kidman in this dress!  Oh, wait! It's not the same dress... it just LOOKS like the same dress. Because every dress she ever wears looks EXACTLY the same!  But it must make it easy for a busy starlett to get dressed for these things! "Hmmm, which board straight, detail-less, no color number shall I wear today?"

Miss Ginger has tried to like Nicole.  Really, she has!  But I think she's a wimpy, whiny, washed out little girl... and her evening wardrobe proves my point!

January Jones looks like she's headed to the porn awards.  This dress is not elegant... it's vulgar and tasteless.

Morticia Addams meets Lily Munster.  And they went and smushed Eva Longoria's boobs!

Sedgwick the Sea Monster.  And some old man who looks kinda like Kevin Bacon.

Someone PLEASE hire this bitch a stylist!  Why does Tilda Swinton ALWAYS wear those horrible separates that are oversized, ugly, and not even evening wear!  And who told her pink shoes go with a yellow skirt?  She looks like a little kid playing dress up with her mother AND father's Easter outfits! You look dykey enough already, honey-  you need girl clothes if you want to look pretty!

But wait:  that's not the worst thing the UK sent us!  Check out:
"The Ugly!"
Helena Bonham Carter, get your head out of the crack pipe and quit wearing Vivienne Westwood!  In the 90's, her quirky style was, well, quirky.  But at least it was fresh.  Now it's just kinda tired and Cyndi Lauperish!  Put this Vivienne Westwood rag in the back of your closet next to all those horrible Betsy Johnson things you wore to your high school proms and get some grown up cothes!  Or, better yet, sell them on eBay and you can buy some shoes that match!\

Stay tuned, folks!  Can't wait to see what this bitches will wear to the Oscars!!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Why Today Sucked.....

Miss Ginger is just not her normal, sunshiney self today.  This day SUCKED for a number of reasons!

1.  Miss Ginger got tired of the stupid subwoofer in the family room not working, so she pulled the whole AV cabinet out from the wall to see if there was a loose connection. In the process, she managed to pull something else loose, and now she can't get anything except the main zone to work.  Miss Ginger gets very cranky when she doesn't have her soundtrack following her from room to room!

2.  It's a dreary, cold, gross day outside and the fireplace won't work!  At first it kept shutting itself off, so Miss G thought the sensors needed cleaning.  After she did that, the fucking thing won't light at all! 
3. The garage has gotten infested with fleas... again!  Miss G just got rid of them last week,  and now they are back with a vengeance!  Why fleas want to live on her bare garage floor is beyond me, but there are thousands of them!!  It's better than having them in the house (knock on wood!) but just barely, especially during costuming season when Miss G spends most of her time in the garage!  She can't work in there until she bombs it again!

and, if all of that is not bad enough....

4. She has a fucking oral thrush infection for which she is taking 2 different medications, and isn't supposed to drink!!  Of all the things to get- a fungus in one's mouth!  It sounds way more disgusting than it really is, and Miss G is beginning to think the treatment may be worse than the infection!!  How she got this she will never know, but the dentist said it probably happened when Miss G had the stomach flu a while back, and her "flora and fauna" weren't at normal levels to suppress the fungus, so it took root.  Ick! 

5.  And, because Miss G is not drinking, she is not sleeping well. At all. Which makes her cranky. And bitchy. And very unpleasant to be around!

So, she is going to keep her bitchy ass at home all weekend and try to get some of this costume knocked out.  Thanks for listening... the kitties tuned me out hours ago!

Miss G Opines on Gun Control....

Gun control has become the topic de jour after the tragic shooting of Arizona Senator Gabrielle Giffords.  This article got Miss G to thinking about it:

Woman shot when man drops gun at Kingwood restaurant


Jan. 13, 2011, 10:53PM

woman was struck by gunfire Thursday night after a pistol discharged when it was dropped by a patron at a restaurant inKingwood, Houston police said.
The woman and the gun owner were both customers at Raffa's American Bistro, 1660 W. Lake Houston Parkway.
The gun owner, a 66-year-old man, was moving his coat about 8:30 p.m. when his Derringer pistol fell to the floor. It fired and struck a woman who was in a nearby booth, Houston police said.
The woman, 71, was taken to Ben Taub General Hospital in stable condition, police said.
The man has a license to carry a handgun. Harris County prosecutors late Thursday declined to accept any charges against him, police said.

Okay, so a completely innocent woman is gunned down in a restaurant by another patron with a pistol. When she entered the restaurant, she had no idea she was putting herself at risk.  Had she known that some idiot had a loaded pistol in his pocket, she would have had the opportunity to go elsewhere. But she didn't. So she soldiered on, ordering her meal, with absolutely no idea her life could be in danger.

Then it happened.  The aforementioned moron, with no idea of the position or condition of his firearm, moved his coat, with said gun loaded and perched precariously at the edge of the pocket.  Not secured to a belt holster, or strapped to a shoulder holster.  Just rolling around in his pocket like a 5 year old cell phone that he knows will be replaced in a few months anyway!

This makes Miss Ginger angry!!! VERY angry!!  First- I'm angry at the old fart who thought he couldn't go out for a burger without packing heat.  Really, Mr. bedroom community resident: are you SO terrified that people are out to get you that you can't go to a neighborhood restaurant without a gun?  Thousands of people eat at that restaurant every day. Do you REALLY think you would be singled out as the one with a need to protect yourself if someone did come and threaten the establishment? Did you REALLY think it's safe to have a gun just rolling around in your pocket, like a pack of gum are a cigarette lighter? Or perhaps you need protection, because people are out to get you, because of the way you treated them? 

Miss Ginger is ANGRY at you, you irresponsible asshole!!! Angry that you are so stupid, or selfish, or lazy, that you would walk around with a deadly weapon in your possession, without knowledge of it's exact position and condition!  I'm ANGRY that you feel you have a right to endanger others, and clearly feel no responsibility for handling that deadly piece of machinery in a safe and responsible manner!

And, Mr. Harris County prosecutor, Miss Ginger is FURIOUS at you for not accepting charges against this dangerous, irresponsible criminal!  What? It was an accident?  Nothing could be done to prevent it? Really? You know this, with no further investigation?

Miss G begs to differ.  Imagine if Miss G was tooling through town in her cute little convertible,  jamming to her tunes and daydreaming about the man of her dreams. All of a sudden, she looks up, realizes she has drifted out of her lane, and hits an oncoming car and kills the driver. BOOM! Manslaughter! Failure to maintain control of your vehicle! Illegal lane change...  Miss G would be tried for any number of valid charges, because she acted irresponsibly, and her irresponsibility had fatal consequences to another human being.  It could happen to any of us. When we get behind the wheel of a car, we know we will be subject to irresponsible operation of other cars by other drivers. It's a risk we know, and can consider before embarking on a trip. Personally, Miss G avoids driving on New Years Eve... St. Patrick's Day... Mardi Gras... Cinco de Mayo....   all days when she knows there will be a large number of irresponsible drivers on the road.

Similarly, if she knew a particular restaurant was frequented by careless gun carriers, she would avoid it like the plague. But, she can't do that. Because it is perfectly legal for these idiots to conceal there stupidity... and their gun!  

Miss Ginger is not pro gun control-  she's pro stupidity control!  But, since that would mean no permits for 90% of the human race,  she has to concur that gun control is the next best thing.

And PLEASE lock that old fart up... or at least take his gun away!  As Momma G used to say:  if you're not going to take care of your toys, I'm going to take them away from you until you are old enough to respect them!"  Apparently, 66 years old is not old enough for this old fart!


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