The FABULOUS Miss Ginger Grant!

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Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year from Miss Ginger Grant!

Before her balls drop and she forgets all of her acquaintances, Miss Ginger wanted to take a minute to say Happy New Year to all the GingerSnaps out there who have made her what she is today: an overweight, aging sometimes drag queen with a drinking problem and a bad back!  

But really, the new year is a great time to reflect on the things we like about our lives, and the things we don't, and to determine which ones we are going to do something about!  I'm not talking resolutions: those are just begging to be broken!  She really means general ideas and practices that might change more than just one person's dress size!

So, putting it out there for the universe, here are Miss Ginger's "great ideas" for 2010:

1. Wouldn't it be great if we all just believed what we want to believe, and stop worrying about what others believe?  Miss Ginger, for one, will no longer vacillate on the whole Jeebus thing: she doesn't believe it and she won't pretend! And honestly, what she does believe is really nobody else's business but her own! Miss Ginger promises she will not recruit your children to become drag queens if you stop recruiting people to become christians! 

2. Wouldn't it be great if everyone were nicer?  If the whole world would SLOW DOWN and not always be in such a rush, we'd have way more time to be nice to people!  Even small gestures, like slowing down on the freeway to let a car in front of you instead of hitting the gas so they have to fall in behind! Miss Ginger is going to look for opportunities to perform such "random acts of kindness" every day!

3. Wouldn't it be great if we could resolve homelessness?  Boy Ginger spends a lot of time downtown in the office this time of year, and the blight of  homelessness weighs heavy on Miss Ginger's mind! She doesn't know the answer, and she needs to take on another cause like she needs another bra in her drawer, but she intends to spend some time this year exploring the problem and finding out what can be done to address the issue in her neighborhood!

4. Wouldn't it be great if everyone took responsibility for their own destiny, instead of looking to governments, institutions, and other sources for "relief"?  Miss Ginger is a woman of charity, but she believes charity should give a "leg up" rather than a "hand out"!  Let's stop bailing out industries, companies, and countries and focus our efforts on taking care of people who can't care for themselves!  Even in a tough economy, most people should be able to find a way to participate in some way! Rather than feeling sorry for ourselves about job loss, company failures, changes in ability, etc, let's regroup, figure out what we need to change to go forward, and get back on the horse- ANY horse! 

In closing, here's a little New Year's Toast:

Here's to the year that's ended, 
and  to the one that harkens-
let's put ideas in motion
before our outlook darkens!

Let' see that things get brighter
and ditch those that are daft-
and make sure life gets lighter
when Pailin gets the shaft!

Happy New Year, dear Ginger Snaps!  Hope I get to meet you all in 2011!!

Whip my hair Willow Smith by GloZell

Miss Ginger LOVES her some GloZell! Classic!!! "She 9!"

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Really, Michael K?

All you fashionistas out there probably already know that the merchandise deliveries that stores receive during late December and early January are referred to as "cruise" or "resort" deliveries, as opposed to "spring", "summer", "fall", and "holiday". Cruise deliveries, by far the smallest of the 5 main deliveries, are intended to give those fashion-starved individuals who are tired of looking at the same ole sweaters a chance to add something fresh and new to their wardrobe. These resort-inspired deliveries typically inject color into the offering, often with nautical or spectator detailing. Aimed at the "jet set", they are, by nature, multi-functional, allowing the wearer options for everything from a cruise vacation to a week of skiing in the Alps!

So, now that you conjured up images of blue blazers, white pants, and cotton sweaters, all appropriate vestiges of cruise collections,  take a look at what our friend Michael Kors is showing for cruise this year:

Really, Michael?!  In this season of change, when you had the chance to work with vivid colors and bold patterns, all we get is this sad, brown dress- with a cardigan?!  And whats with the puddle around the bottom- did you run out of time before you got a chance to put in the hem?  I mean, what woman would wear this?  Where is she going- to a "Grey Gardens" party? And that hat? It looks like you had extra material from the sweater and thought: "Hey! I'll just whip up a hat, too!"  Vacations are supposed to be joyful! Where is the joy in this outfit?  

Miss Ginger would love to hear what Nina and Heidi would have to say about this one!  She knows what Isaac Mizrahi would say: "buh bye, darling!"

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Pretty Damn Brazziliant!

According to the Houston Chronicle, online retailer is working to patent an online gifting system that to Miss G seems nothing short of brilliant! According to the article, Amazon knows that about 30% of the items it ships as gifts will be returned, at expense and inconvenience to both the recipient and the retailer.  Therefore, they have devised a system of advanced notification that allows users to convert an undesirable gift to something they want, before it even leaves the warehouse!!

Users can set parameters for gift acceptance on Amazon's site, and gifts that fall within the parameters will be shipped as usual.  But, if the gift falls outside of the parameters, like "no gifts from Aunt Mildred", or "no clothing with wool", the recipient will be notified that the gift has been ordered and paid for, and will ask the recipient for further instructions.  Seems like a "win-win" to me!!

Apparently, the Emily Post set is up in arms. What do you think, dear GingerSnaps? Would you use such a service?

Gurl's Got Talent!!!

Unlike the overhyped, overproduced, overpriveledged songster,  this girl has got real talent! (PS: can you tell how much Miss G despises Willow Smith's parents?)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Mardi Gras Madness Begins!!!

Well,  Christmas is finally over, and the greatest holiday of the year is ahead of us:  Mardi Gras!! This one's going to be particularly crazy for Miss G, as she has barely begun working on her costume!  As you may have seen in the past,  they are usually quite elaborate, and huge! 
But first, there's money to raise to pay for this shindig!  There Krewe's 12th Night Party, our final fundraiser of the year, is coming up January 8th, and it should be a real humdinger!!

Part of the fun that night will be a silent auction, and we're really excited to be able to showcase the art of one of our supporters, Houston's own Kermit Eisenhut! Kermit is an incredible artist and one helluva nice guy!  Miss Ginger has had the pleasure to come to know him through his work with Art League Houston, one of the Krewe's beneficiaries this year! Kermit is integrally involved in the League's Healing Arts program, and has worked with the group to create a couple of art chairs that he has donated for our silent auction!!

We're really excited to be able to offer an item from this noted artist, so you local 'Snaps make sure you come to the event and submit your bids!!  Hell, even if you're not local,  email Miss Ginger your bid and she'll submit it for you!

This is a "red letter" Mardi Gras for Miss G for a several other reasons, a couple of which she will note here!  First,  Miss G will return to the Crescent City to celebrate this glorious holiday, something she has not done for many, many years!!  There is NOTHING like Mardi Gras in the French Quarter, and everybody should see it at least once in their life!!
It's crowded and loud, but everybody is there to party and have a good time, so you hardly even notice it!  And, don't think it's too late to plan a trip to the Big Easy!  Miss G just made her reservations last night, so she knows for a fact there are still plenty of rooms available!  Let her know if you need hotel recommendations- she's stayed in most of them at some point or another!! She'll be at the Omni Royal Orleans this time... she's never stayed there before, but Momma G loved it so it must be nice!! And, it's a GREAT location!!

Another reason this will be a special Mardi Gras is because she will get the chance to meet the one and only, incomparable Amber LeMay!!  Yes, folks, the LeMay sisters are leaving all that snow in Vermont to vacation in the Big Easy for Mardi Gras, and Miss G certainly looks forward to meeting them!! 

Miss G has more to share, but that's for later!  She's got to get to bed, and you folks all have reservations to book!  Orbitz, Expedia, or whatever you have to do, but figure out how you're going to get yourself to NOLA for the big party!!  And, since Mardi Gras is so late this year,  you really don't have to worry about NOLA becoming SNOWLA and ruining your trip!

See ya there!! 

Saturday, December 25, 2010

'Tis Better to Give....

As many of you may know, Miss Ginger has declared her home a "no gifting zone" for the past couple of years- after (cough! cough!) years in the retail industry, she has come to despise the whole concept of "obligated gifting".

This year, however, she did give one special gift, and giving it brought her the great joy that the season is about!

Many of you know fellow GingerSnap Zombie Mom,  working and now single mother of 2 special toddlers in California.  The girls are CONSUMED with mermaids- they absolutely love anything mermaid themed!  So, Miss Ginger made them a special mermaid keepsake chest, and filled it with all sorts of subsea treasures!

On the front of the chest she placed two unique locks, each with it's own key, and she wrote a special poem to explain how it works:

The chest you see before ye holds treasures from the deep

‘tis from an ancient shipwreck! (‘twas hidden in the keep!)

It wasn’t placed by sailors; it’s contents are too fine!

A sailors loot is lurid- gold bullion, jewels, and wine!

This bounty is from mermaids, who hid their treasures well;

Deep within the shipwreck, hidden by a shell.

The treasures of a mermaid are special, that’s for sure!

Their beauty is their bounty, their hearts are good, and pure!

The nights at sea are sullen, the days are dark, and grey

But sailors find their targets when mermaids lead the way!

A mermaid’s life is lonely, with nights of siren song,

Singing while they’re swimming, so sailors tag along.

After each long journey, the sailors just get drunk

But every mermaid swims to check the treasure in her trunk!

She goes to where it’s hidden, alone, and with her key,

To add what she’s collected from this last trip at sea!

But some mermaids are special; they have a lifelong pal!

A mermaid with a sister is an extra special gal!

She has someone to share with, to coddle, and cahoot,

When mermaid sisters team up, there’s extra special loot!

The treasure chest before ye, ‘tis solid, that’s a fact…

With double locks, a fortress, its contents all intact.

It’s made for mermaid sisters, with a special catch, you see

Each sister owns the contents, each sister has a key!

Like sisters who are different, these keys are not the same

One is for the youngest, ‘tis LaLa! That’s her name!

The other if for Sarah to have, and hold, and keep,

And carry with her always on her travels through the deep!

But here’s the catch I promised: a special way to share!

Before the box can open, each sister must be there!

She must have sharing spirit, and of course must have her key,

And when both locks are opened, their mermaid love runs free!

Merry Christmas to those special California mermaids!!!

Merry Christmas Caturday!

Shelby and Jackson have decided they want Christmas to fall on Caturday every year! 

It is a TOTAL Caturday here at Chez Ginger, with not a creature stirring- just lots of sleeping!

A great time was had on Christmas Eve by all that came over to enjoy the little Christmas Feast Miss G had whipped up, so today is all about being lazy and basking in the quiet after the storm!

Merry Christmas, dear GingerSnaps!  And love to all of you!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

A New Drag Name!

You know the classics:
Virginia Ham
Anita Man
Bertha Venation

and here's a new one:

Phyllis Mangina?!  Really?

Assuming that she's a lesbian, which she appears to be, "Mangina"  would be the name given by her parents.  Can you imagine that conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Mangina?:

Mrs. M: What should we name out little bundle of joy?
Mr. M:  How about "Anita"?
Mrs. M:  No, I don't like the way that sounds?
Mr. M: How about "Bertha"?
Mrs. M: Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
Mr. M:  How about "Phyllis"?  "Phyllis Mangina".  That's a great name!
Mrs. M:  Perfect! And we'll give her my maiden name as her middle name!  "Phyllis Cameltoe Mangina!"  Our little girl!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Christmas Catchup with Miss Ginger Grant!

As a big 'ole drag queen with a heart of gold,  Miss Ginger is THRILLED with the repeal of DADT!  Miss G is not sure why any real 'mo would want to wear green all the time and be in the dirt and muck all day, but hey, she's not throwing rocks!!

As a fashion professional, Miss Ginger predicts that "camo will become the new black" as President Obama signs into law the bill abolishing DADT!  Michael Korange will be all about "military chic" next season, and Ralph Lauren will come out with a new Polo Artillery line!

Closer to the home front, Miss Ginger is really struggling with the ole holiday spirit this year!!  It's even worse than the year Momma G died!  She doesn't seem to have the time or energy to decorate,  and when she thinks she might force herself to cowgirl up and pull this shit out,  she realizes that if she does,  it will stay up until March and she'll have to put it all away herself. Not gonna do it!  Plus,  she's really struggling with the whole Jeebus thing anyway,  and feels a little bit hypocritical celebrating the birthday of a diety she does not embrace.  She will, of course, celebrate, but it will be more in the way the non-Irish celebrate St. Patricks Day, or the way non-French celebrate Bastille Day-  by getting dronk!  She's going to host Christmas Eve dinner, and that will get her in the spirit, but really, she's just kinda ready for the holidays to be over so she can celebrate the ONE TRUE HOLIDAY:   Mardi Gras!!!!

She's watched White Christmas like 3 times to try to get into the spirit, but it not working!  Miss Ginger LOVES White Christmas because: 
1. It co-stars Mary Wickes, perhaps the most talented character actress of all time!
2. It stars Vera-Ellen,  perhaps the skinniest bitch that "Golden Hollywood" ever saw!  I think this chic invented "bulimia chic"!  That little tiny waist.... and those LEGS!!!!

3.  It's the only movie in which Rosemary Clooney was truly pretty!  And pretty skinny herself, although it was cruel to put her next to Vera-Ellen!

4. The chorus boys!!  All that shiny black hair!!  A bohemian rhapsody, for sure!!  And Johnny,  the choreographer for the "show".  That's what I'm talkin' about!!

What's your favorite part of "White Christmas"?  And, while you're commenting, how do you get yourself in the mood for the holidays?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Do You Believe?

Whether or not you believe in Jeebus, surely you believe in Santa Claus!  How could you not believe that a man who loves every child on Earth would take one night a year to fly on a magic sleigh to deliver presents to each and every one of them!

Religious diatribes aside,  the Holidays are a GREAT time to give back to your community, while spirits are high and needs are at their greatest!

Once again, Miss Ginger's other persona is proud to be a part of Macy's "Believe" campaign,  inviting people young and old to write letter to Santa expressing their wishes and hopes for the holiday season!  Every Macy's store across the country has a special Macy's mailbox and a "Believe Meter" that tracks the wishes as they are received!  Macy's will count up the wishes,  make a $1 donation to the "Make a Wish" foundation for each one, and then forward to Santa at the North Pole for him to check against his "naughty or nice" list!  Our goal is to donate $1,000,000 to Make a Wish.  So far, the Believe Meter says we are a little over halfway there, so we need everyone's help to make sure we receive enough letters!!

Won't you write a letter to share your wish with Santa, and help the Make a Wish Foundation grant the wishes of a child in need?  You can go to Santa's Post Office to download stationery, find a mailbox, or even see what some of your favorite celebrities have wished for this year!

Once you've written your letter, just take it to any Macy's store (you know you'll be going there several times this season, anyway!) and drop it into the mailbox. It's that easy to do something great for someone who really needs a smile this year!

If you drop your letter on on December 10th, 2010, Macy's will DOUBLE it's donation as they join Make a Wish in celebrating National Believe Day!!!

And, on December 17th, at 8pm EST, 7pm CST,  tune into CBS Television for "Yes, Virginia- The Animated Special, brought to you by Macy's!

(This trailer has last year's date. The 2010 screening is December 17th)

If you believe in Miss Ginger, surely you believe in Santa Claus!  And, while you're at it, why not leave Miss Ginger a comment and tell her why you believe!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

In Case Anyone Ever Wonders.....

... why Miss Ginger does what she "does"....

This photo she welched from David Dust's post (that he "retwitted" from Joe.My.God) serves as a grim reminder that, although HIV can be "controlled":   really???  Is a $5,763.08 prescription "controlled"?  For the math challenged out there,  that's $192 A DAY!!!

When Miss G and her friends put on our wigs and heels and host one of our little shows,  we are all "high-fiving" each other if we make $1,000!  That kinda dough means a girl put a lot of work into publicity,  attracted some big spenders,  and called in a few favors, of some type or another (feel free to use your imagination here!) 

That's enough cash to keep an HIV patient alive for (cue the tympani) FIVE DAYS!!!   Less than a week!  And, that's assuming the person is healthy enough and young enough to work, and pay the rest of the "normal" life expenses that all of us face!  The next time you think "I really need to kick this $5.00 a day Starbucks habit" or "Jeebus!  $59 a month is a lot for cable television!), put that number into perspective!!

So, if Miss G spends a month sewing a new gown,  and publicizes to her fans that she's going to wear a new creation so they'd better come see it for the first time (not like their not going to get to see it a million more times) and her really generous fans come and get drunk and tip and tip and tip and tip and she raises $1,000 bucks, she can keep an HIV patient alive for FIVE DAYS!!!  Wow, that's a lot of work!

But, it is work that is needed, and necessary, and good.  Real good!  And it feels good, too!  If you've not tried it, you should... you really should!

Okay, maybe not the wigs an heels part (after about 30 minutes, those don't feel so good!)  But the doing part. And the helping part. And the loving part.  Those parts feel real, real, good!  So try it!  And give Miss G a shout if you need help getting started!!  The more of that give, and work, and support the cause, the more people we can keep healthy! 


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