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Monday, January 17, 2011

Miss Ginger's Golden Globes StyleSession!

The Golden Globes have come and gone, and honestly, Miss Ginger has no idea who won anything! She didn't watch the boring telecast of the actual awards, but she did actually watch the red carpet portion of the telecast on E!, and she must admit that there is something good about being able to see the dresses enter, move, and flow on the red carpet!   That first impression is really what a red carpet dress is all about!

If you recall last years' round of awards shows, it was all about austerity and subdued glamor as Hollywood tried to appear relevant with the times: tough economy, high unemployment, etc.  Well, apparently in 12 short months they think everyone got jobs and became rich, because this year's fashion parade was definitely over the top glamor!  Choo! Choo! Here come the trains!!

Really,  the Golden Globes arrival looked more like a choreographed fashion show than a gathering of organic glamor.  It was too consistent, in terms of colors, styles, and silhouettes. The number of full trains bordered on ridiculous.  The color story was VERY limited. The black. The "pop" color was forest green.  There were way too many "fleshy" colors".  And lots of red, in all the wrong places!  Why do stars insist on wearing RED on the RED carpet?!  And Miss G is not sure what to make of this naked neck phenomenon!

So let's get started!  We'll begin with
 "the Good":

Amy Adams gown was red carpet friendly in a deep shade of blue that looked great with her skin.  The shape flattered her, and the ruffles, though a bit much, weren't a distraction.  Definitely a red carpet winner!

Mandy Moore went for a similar color scheme in a dress with a great shape as well. The tulle at the bottom makes it look as if she's walking in a cloud, but the bit at the top is overkill some someone as young and pretty as she!

Kat Kramer probably did black better than anybody tonight.  Kat is totally working the Miss Ginger look, complete with oversprayed red flip and a hands-on-hip attitude! Snap, girl!

Lea Michelle was adorable in this Oscar de le Renta monstrosity!  When they said such a tiny little thing was going to wear OdlR Miss G thought "it will eat her up" but she had the glamour and presence to pull it off!  If she had worm her hair up and lot of jewelry she would have looked like she was playing dress up,  but with her casual hair and minimal bling, she looks  stunning, chic, and youthful!  

Anne Hathaway did the best with fleshtones tonight.  Her sequined gown was appropriately sparkled, and it fit her beautifully.  It's nice to see a young woman show sexy without baring half her body!  Miss G thinks Anne is so classy and pretty:  she nominates her for "Princess of Hollywood!"

and, if AH is the princess, make way for Her Royal Highness, the Queen of Hollywood, it's realms, and baronies:

Katherine Zeta Jones!  Anyone else may have looked a bit "Gone with the Wind" in this full-skirted forest green gown, but KZJ pulls it off with elegance!  With her body she can wear just about anything, and her coloring begs for rich, deep tones like this!  Truly a gown fit for the Queen of Hollywood!

"the Bad":

"Oh, my God, Christina: that dress makes your butt look SO big!"  And not in a good way! Maybe it's the pose, but that thing makes her ass look wider than her shoulders!  She looks like Charo on a bad episode of the Love Boat!

Halle Berry, did your dress get caught in the door when you got out of the limo? Or is that just a shower curtain you wrapped around your waist at the last minute when you heard everyone else would be wearing trains?  Maybe it's a swim suit and cover up, because you forgot the awards were today?  Whatever the reason, it's bad.  We've come to expect more from you!

Annette Benning, Miss Ginger has three words for you:  1.) Hairdresser!    2.) Contacts!   3.) Whitestrips!

And the dress reminds me of something my friend Cravyn Morehead whipped up for Halloween one year.  When she had 10 minutes. And wanted to be a witch.

Miss Ginger is sick to death of seeing Nicole Kidman in this dress!  Oh, wait! It's not the same dress... it just LOOKS like the same dress. Because every dress she ever wears looks EXACTLY the same!  But it must make it easy for a busy starlett to get dressed for these things! "Hmmm, which board straight, detail-less, no color number shall I wear today?"

Miss Ginger has tried to like Nicole.  Really, she has!  But I think she's a wimpy, whiny, washed out little girl... and her evening wardrobe proves my point!

January Jones looks like she's headed to the porn awards.  This dress is not elegant... it's vulgar and tasteless.

Morticia Addams meets Lily Munster.  And they went and smushed Eva Longoria's boobs!

Sedgwick the Sea Monster.  And some old man who looks kinda like Kevin Bacon.

Someone PLEASE hire this bitch a stylist!  Why does Tilda Swinton ALWAYS wear those horrible separates that are oversized, ugly, and not even evening wear!  And who told her pink shoes go with a yellow skirt?  She looks like a little kid playing dress up with her mother AND father's Easter outfits! You look dykey enough already, honey-  you need girl clothes if you want to look pretty!

But wait:  that's not the worst thing the UK sent us!  Check out:
"The Ugly!"
Helena Bonham Carter, get your head out of the crack pipe and quit wearing Vivienne Westwood!  In the 90's, her quirky style was, well, quirky.  But at least it was fresh.  Now it's just kinda tired and Cyndi Lauperish!  Put this Vivienne Westwood rag in the back of your closet next to all those horrible Betsy Johnson things you wore to your high school proms and get some grown up cothes!  Or, better yet, sell them on eBay and you can buy some shoes that match!\

Stay tuned, folks!  Can't wait to see what this bitches will wear to the Oscars!!


kayce. said...

i like tilda and i wish she would go MORE androgynous instead of less LOL... she should just embrace it and wear nothing but YSL (or tom ford) tuxedos to everything, everywhere.

mrs. miss alaineus said...

kacye's got a point. tilda would look better in a tux.


Beth said...

I agree with Kayce...tux all the way. And Halle has the best breasteses ever but that shower curtain has got. To. Go.

What about Sandra Bullock? Since when did she turn into Angelina? When she walked out I thought, " oh angie...get rid of those god awful bangs!"

Great job Miss G!!

Beth said...

I loved your take on The Bad! And oh, they were oh so very bad.

A few guy friends on Facebook were drooling over January Jones and her dress. When I saw it earlier today, I had the same reaction as you. Really? Slutty is in? I just thought it looked classless and vaguely sadomasochist. XOXO


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