Fall Cleaning?

While Princess Shelby enjoys her little romp in the fall leaves, Boy G has decided he cannot stand another moment of Miss G's clutter- something must be done!

It all started when Queen G had to haul all of her stuff down to the dining room table to make her new fall frock, since she couldn't even GET to the sewing nook in her closet!  Boy G had enough, so he started sorting, pitching, and organizing! It took two days to rifle through dresses, jewelry and other unmentionables to get our gurl (mostly) back in order!

Boy G was actually quite surprised that he was able to mate  up all of the earrings except for one, and he hasn't given up hope on that one!  As he emptied all of her finery from the jillions of ziplock bags that contained it, he sorted it into these nifty little containers that have adjustable compartments to keep the earrings together and the necklaces untangled.  Each layer contains a specific color of jewelry, and Miss G can pop out only the colors that match her outfits for the night, and take them along without having to haul the whole collection!  She so enjoys selecting the perfect stone to match her outfit, so play along with me and don't let on that you know they are all paste!

Once the jewelry was done, it was easy to sort through the rest of the various and sundry accessories she uses to accent her wardrobe, and Boy G labeled them boldly so she can find what she's looking for, even without her glasses. 


After that was all cleaned up, Boy G poured himself a stiff cocktail and took on the biggest project yet- her makeup box!  This is the Queen who has collected every free gift-with-purchase from every cosmetic brand that ever cluttered a counter, so he knew the project was going to be a big one!  Plus, he knew she had her stuff scattered through every drawer and cabinet in the bathroom, as well, so he'd really have to go through all of to get it all together! 




Now, Boy G thought he would have an easy time finding the expiration dates on all of the Queens products, but guess what: in the US, "cosmetics" don't have to have an expiration date printed on them!  "Drugs" and "medicines" do, but not cosmetics. (Incidentally, I am of the opinion that the cosmetic companies have lobbied for this to save money!)  A quick internet search brought up lots of dissenting information, depending upon who published the info, but basically, we discovered that the closer a product is used to mucous membranes, and the more liquid its form, the shorter it's useful life. It doesn't last long once the package is opened!


Here are some guidelines developed by the Queen herself:


Liquid eyeliner and mascara- 6-8 months.  Here's a trick to making mascara stay fresh longer- after the first use, break the wand off and throw it away.  Then, use disposable wands from the beauty supply store to prevent transferring bacteria from your eyes to the tube.  Ditto for liquid eyeliner- use the package brush only once, then break it off and toss it.  A quality reusable liner brush will give you more control and can be washed and sanitized. These tips are especially important for a group of drunk drag queens who tend to share everything!
Eye pencils and shadows- 8-18 months.  Each time you sharpen a pencil you are giving it a sanitary point, so as long as the color stays creamy you are probably okay. Remember to put the cap back on to make it last longer!  Use disposable wands for shadows, and ditch them when they dry and crack.
Lipsticks and lip pencils- 6-12 months. Lipstick will stay sanitary longer if you use a clean lip brush to apply it, instead of wiping the stick on your lips... but really, who does that?  When it loses it's fragrance, it's probably time to ditch it.
Foundations- 12-24 months.  Cake and powder foundations last the longest; liquid foundations spoil the fastest.  If the cake has flaked and cracked, toss it.  If the liquid has separated or lost it's fragrance, it's time to ditch it, as well.
Lotions, creams, and cleansers- 6-12 months.  Lotions with natural oils, such as almond, jojoba, etc, will spoil fastest.  As the oils become rancid, they will change the fragrance of the product, and it should be discarded.

Once the cosmetics were cleared out, Boy G went through the drawers and cabinets to ditch all of the old cold medicines, pain relievers, and vitamin supplements that were past their expiration dates.  He was certainly surprised by how much old stuff he had- some of which he had been using!
















After hauling 2 cans full of old stuff to the dumpster, Boy G organized all of the rest of the Queens stuff by use and color. Now, she can get her face on and be out the door in a flash!


When was the last time you went through your stuff? Better question- what's the expiration date on the aspirin bottle in YOUR medicine cabinet?