Last night, RuPaul's Drag Race begins with the girl's washing last week's lipstick goodbye off of the mirror. No one seems sad that Mimi Imfurst is gone, least of all India Ferrah, who won over Mimi in a full body contact Lipsync For Your Life last week.
A loud "whoop whoop" signals that the girls have "SheMail", and Ru appears on screen to remind the girls that they have to bring it, or somesuch drag buzztalk. After that, boy Ru appears, dressed in a suit made from his grandmother's sofa, and tell the girls that for their mini challenge, they must create a drag look for a red carpet papparazzi moment. Drag frenzy ensues, and the girls pull some nasty ass looks together that are barely worth talking about, so I won't.
The winners are a makeup-free Stacey Matthews with one real manboob hanging out, and Carmen Carrera with a paparazzi shot of a fake beaver make from duct tape and spirit gum. I told you they weren't worth talking about!
As Stacey proclaims "OMG! My fat ass finally won somthing!", Ru explains that the winners of the mini challenge will be the team leaders for the main challenge, this years "executive realness" challenge.
The girls will be divided into 2 news teams, to create their own morning news show. Ru brings out some chick named Debbie Somethingopolous, who supposedly has been on the news somewhere, to give them tips and feedback. Stacey's team is up first, and their rehearsal is a trainwreck! Stacey can't keep up with the teleprompter. Yara, as the weather girl, sounds like a frenzied Charo as she struggles to reverse her handmotions to the green screen. The only one who performed well was Shangela, who seemed really confident and comfortable in her role as gossip reporter.
Next, Team Carmen takes the stage, with Raja and Delta as anchors, India destroying the weather, Carmen fucking up the gossip segment, and Manila doing a tacky, racist, unfunny roving reporter who can't pronounce her L's and R's, sounding like a cross between Connie Chung and Barbara Walters. It was totally predictable schtick as she interviews Kristen Cavasomething, trying to fix her up with her "blother" so he can clear "immiglation". So not funny. Miss Ginger was not amused.
After the crappy newscasts, the girls parade out to meet the regular round of gay gaggle judges, plus a very uncomfortable looking Chloe Sevigny. As they appear on stage, and again backstage in the "Interior Illusions Lounge", India appears to be getting the "edit of doom" and we become pretty sure she will LSFHL. Raja and Shangela have a kind of funny argument in dressing room, with Raja poo pooing the gay pagaent system, which clearly hurts the feeling of Shangela, California's regining "Entertainer of the Year". Ouch.
By the time Ru whittles it down to the top and bottom, she tells Manila, of her racist reporter:
"You broke all the rules...
you crossed the line of good taste,
and perpetuated stereotypes."
"Condragulations! You are the winner of this challenge!"
Apparently the judges decided that Manila was an equal opportunity hater, and that made her tasteless performance okay. Miss G is all for high camp, but that bit left her cold.
Stacey and India are left to perform a rather lame and uneventful LFYL, with Stacey edging out India, who got slammed for an ugly dress, bad makeup, and no personality. Ouch again. Sashay away, gurl!
Miss G has still not picked a winner. Raja seems to be a favorite of the judges. Shangela is clearly Ru's favorite to win. Alexis Matteo is the cutest boy remaining. But Miss G is not ready to call this one yet. How about you?