Rings Around Uranus!

RDR Spoiler alert!!

Tonight, the queens of RDR went into lame' overload as they filmed trailers for their upcoming movies, "From Earth to Uranus".

But first, there was a lame (no accent aigu) "minichallenge" where they girls had to give ESP clues to their bestie, Dating Game style.  Phoenix and Mariah were the winning team, but were then split into team captains for the playground-style casting call.  Phoenix picks first and chooses Raja (quelle surprise!) and Mariah picks last and gets stuck with Mimi Imfurst.

Immediately, the teams split into groups, choose their roles, and begin table readings of their scripts. Except for Mimi, who insists on taking the table reading to Gloria Swanson proportions, and focuses more on her lighting cues than her lines, polarizing her team even further against her.

Miss G takes a moment here to opine on Mimi.  She wants to like her. She really does!  She knows many of her readers are big Mimi fans, but she's gonna step in the pile here and just say:  "bitch is workin' my nerves!"  In episode one, there was high drama because Mimi can't sew, and she freaked out in the thrift store challenge.  Girl- did you not watch last season? Were you not aware that half the show requires you to create costumes and looks?  Today, more drama and sniffles as she is picked last for the movie trailers.  Well, girl, after that last meltdown, are you surprised?  Then later, in the Interior Illusions Lounge, she becomes defensive when criticized about her lack of realness and her dependence upon camp, at which point she makes a million excuses about the plight of the big city drag queen, the lack of dependable public transport in NYC, wah, wah, wah.  Honey, if you want drag challenges, try putting on makeup in August in Houston, Texas on the 2nd floor of a 150 year old building with only a tiny window unit AC- the shit melts off faster than you can smear it on. But still, we take time to blend!! But I digress....

Mimi has polarized the competition and the audience against her, and it all stems from a clear lack of self esteem!  In one breath she'll be all cocky about "I'm the only one with theatrical training" or somesuch, and three sniffles later she's in meltdown mode because someone said something catty.  My advice, Mimi, is you gotta grow a pair before you can tuck 'em, honey!  And, as RuPaul herself says: "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you 'gonna love anybody else?!"

And now back to the show!

The girls tape their shows under the direction of Michelle Visage and Alexandra Torresani, and it is the mixed bag one would expect.  Manila Luzon was probably the scene stealer of the shoots, doing this cute space monkey character for whom she created a funny, well-executed "language".  Also on top, in Miss Ginger's book,  were Stacy Layne Matthews, who gave us a Maya Angelou meets bride of Frankenstein realness, and the robot twins from both teams:  Shangela and Alexis on Team Mariah, and Carmen and India on team Ashes, I mean Team Phoenix!!

After the taping,  the girls walked the main stage in their best sci fi drag,  and Ru added Lily Tomlin to the panel as the special guest judge.  On the runway, Miss G gives top marks to Mariah, Shangela, and Alexis, for their glamor, creative use of materials, and their space age realness! There were more looks on the bottom, with Phoenix looking a bit too butch and boyish (and not in a good way), Carmen with her hair coming unglued, and Delta Work looking like Judy Jetson Cogswell after having 6 kids and a bad divorce!

In the end, it was Phoenix and Delta left to LSFYL, and Delta pulled out the win by being true to her feminine self, while Phoenix kicked of her shoes (GASP!) and writhed around like a 12 year old boy trying to dance like Lady GaGa.  It was painful to watch!

And the drama continued in the "Untucked" postscript show.  Mariah gets real with a monologue about drag queens being the pioneers of the entertainment industry, which we are!  Her implication is that we push the boundaries (which we do!) and the mainstream media follows our footsteps (which they do!)  Well edited and accompanied by a background of patriotic symphonics, she ends her dramatic diatribe with the kick ass finish:  "WE write the story!"  A classic  reality TV moment, to be sure!

Shangela and Alexis slip off to the Gold Bar to freshen their cocktails and have a little girl talk, where they dish on everyone and every thing- but mostly, they hate on Mimi Imfurst.  They do a bit of hating on Mariah a bit, too, reassuring each other that this show is The Next Drag Superstar, not the Next Tranny Superstar.

To which Miss Ginger says:

Back to the IIL, where Shangela kicks back a few more Absoluts  and decides to "get real"- mostly real mean to Mimi.   Shangela attacks Mimi's lack of polish and glamor,at which point a defensive Mimi accuses Shangela of having a sugar daddy to buy her drag and costumes.


Well, this hits a nerve with Ru's little boygirl, and Shangela proclaims her lack of a sugar daddy, assures us she could have one if she wanted one, and then slings her cocktail across the room at Mimi.  Mimi, in a classic drag queen defense maneuver, slings hers back. People, this kind of realness cannot be scripted!!!  Another of televisions finest moments- that makes 2 in one show!!


The girls kiss and make up, and then go out to the stage to see a shoeless Phoenix get the boot. Which she deserved.  It's a shame we couldn't have mind-melded Mimi and Phoenix into one confident, glamorous drag queen who can defend our art without backstage drama and meltdowns.


Oh, well, that just leaves more airtime for Miss Ginger!!