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Saturday, July 28, 2012

Chicken Choking.

This photo of the World's Stupidest Woman and her incredibly creepy husband has been making the rounds on the internet lately;  what many may not know is that it was taken right here in Texas,  in a Stepford-like bedroom community north of Houston.  The Cuntessa of Cray-cray was in town to stump for a republican tea party candidate whose name I won't publicize.  You think they look bad here, with Todd's cheap-ass, poly-blend perm-prest cheap ass Wallymart shirt, check this out:


Cowboy boots with a knit dress?  She's dressed like a hung-over UT co-ed who's late for class.  


It never ceases to amaze me that people actually hand her a microphone,  much less invite her to speak, or show up to listen to her!  Miss Ginger is not sure why her followers feel the need to listen to her: they know what she's going to say because it never changes.  




She was quoted as saying she wanted to choke down some Hate-fil-A while she was in Texas because they don't have it in Alaska.  I suppose she's tired of the value menu offered at Blubber King.  Miss Ginger hopes the boycott against Hate-on-a-Bun continues-  in the past, when she used to eat, there,  every time they replied to her polite "thank you" with their cultish, over-rehearsed "my pleasure", she's wanted to grab her crotch and say in her best porn star voice: "I'v got your pleasure right here" before she glitter bombed them and dumped her Diet Coke on the floor.  But that would be a waste of the world's most important liquid, so she controls her anger.  


Miss Ginger's disdain for deep-fried asshatery made her wonder what other choices were out there that could be supporting the wrong causes.  She googled a list of companies owned by Mitt Romney's Bain Capital,  and was surprised by some on the list.


The restaurants on the list are easy; Miss G never eats at any of these, so she won't have to make an effort to strike them off of her list:


BURGER KING
DOMINO'S PIZZA
DUNKIN DONUTS


Miss G rarely buys off the rack, so avoiding these stores shouldn't be too hard:


SPORTS AUTHORITY
STAPLES
BROOKSTONE
BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY


This one is going to be much tougher:  in order to avoid it, she's probably going to have to plan better, and order from the internet:


MICHAEL'S


There were a couple of other organizations fleecing Romney's pockets that were surprising to Miss G:


HCA HOSPITALS
CLEAR CHANNEL COMMUNICATIONS
THE WEATHER CHANNEL
SEALY MATTRESSES


Won't you join Miss G in avoiding the capitalists at Bain?

The Games are Open!

London welcomed the world to the Olympics last night with an opening ceremony that was, well.... interesting.  A veritable crazy-quit of all things Britannic, the ceremony began with a pale, pastoral scene that was neither attention-getting or exciting.  Miss Ginger is pretty sure it was supposed to represent the beginnings of the British Isles, but it seems to her there were some really important parts we skipped- Shakespeare and Stonehenge, come to mind.




After the little maypole dancers literally rolled up the grass and hauled it off-stage, we obsessed for what seemed like hours over the dark,  dingy, grey depiction of the industrial revolution.  Miss Ginger gets that Great Britain led the world in the industrial revolution, and that the east end of the city, where the stadium sits, was the center of it all, but the building of those grey smokestacks by the people in black and brown outfits was just dreary!  The only redeeming part was the pyrotechnics at the end, when the rings rose from the forge in a shower of flames. 


The pace and color did pick up a bit with the entrance of the Queen.  Here's the part where one would expect a certain amount of droll pageantry; instead, we celebrated British slapstick by parachuting Her Majesty into the cheering stadium along with Bond- James Bond!  That was an Olympic moment that won't soon be forgotten, and made the whole thing worth watching in Miss Ginger's opinion!  








After that, it just got kind of goofy. While she admires the Brits' pride in their National Health System, and wonders aloud if America could ever take national pride in any government program, she thought the whole sequence of kids in pale pajamas dancing on beds, with nannies dressed in black parabrelling down from the rafters kind of boring and, again, colorless. Then something about scary dreams- the scariest of which was the enormous inflatable child that was just plain creepy! Bi-racial kids dancing with iPhones- jet packs- British music tribute- it all became a boring blur around this part.


The parade of athletes reeled it back in, and Miss G couldn't help but notice the number of handsome tennis players that seemed to be selected to carry the flags of so many countries!  She's going to have to add tennis to her list of sports to watch! With each country's arrival came another petal for the Olympic cauldron,  and once they were all in place, the arrival of the Olympic flame by speedboat on the Thames was unique and clever.  






The wrap up performance by Sir Paul McCartney was special for Miss G in a tug-at-your-heart kind of personal way that could only be appreciated by GingerNation.  "Hey, Jude" has one of those weird, warm childhood memories for her.  As a tiny boy, probably around 3 or 4,  Baby Boy G would go up to Bubba Arthur's room and beg him: "Artie, sing our song" to which Artie (who was NOT a musician) would say "Why do you want me to sing it? It always makes you cry!"  I would, of course, tell him, "No! I'm not gonna cry this time- I promise!" and after much pleading, could get him to sing the song.  And, of course, I would cry.  I'm still not sure why... I guess because he was singing about a "sad song", and making things better.  Anyway, by the time we would get to the na na na na's, I would join in singing, and he would tickle me, and we would end up laughing, and singing, and tickling and giggling 'til Daddy yelled for us to be quiet! So now, any time she hears "Hey, Jude" Miss G gets misty eyed.


So, we didn't get the colorful, precise spectacle we saw in Beijing- in fact, we got very little color at all.  Or precision, for that matter.  But what we did get was an interesting, loud, uniquely British start to the games.


Did you watch, GingerSnaps?  What did you think of the games?  

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Crazy!

It's been a crazy week for Miss Ginger, and it's only Tuesday...  who knows what the rest of the week will bring!


Perhaps crazy is not the best word to use, at least not for the entire story.  For the first part, maybe it is...


The Aurora massacre has had a greater effect on Miss G than massacres of the past.  Perhaps it's because she recently spent a week working with some folks from Colorado who work in our Aurora store.  Perhaps it's because of the attention the media has brought to the fact the the shooter bought all of the weapons and ammo legally, without any flags or "exception reports" to show that someone was collecting massive amounts of warfare.  And perhaps it's just because she is horrified by the frequency with which these disasters seem to happen in America.  Her tiny brain is just boggled by how people can wage war on their own neighbors!


On top of all that, a friend committed suicide this weekend.  Not a dear, old, friend, but someone I knew and liked.  He was a dear, old friend, of a dear, dear, friend, and, because of that, my heart is broken.  Suicide is so painful... one can only imagine the pain that leads someone to that act.  And, the pain lingers with the friends and family of the victim, who struggle so desperately to understand the cause.  Miss Ginger is no stranger to the pain of suicide... at the young age of 10, Boy Ginger lost a childhood friend to suicide; a boy slightly older than he, who found the prospects for his future something with which he couldn't cope.  A young Boy G saw the intense pain inflicted upon his parents and sister- the whole neighborhood, really.  Such a young age for a budding drag queen to understand that some people just can't cope....


Then today, Miss Ginger learned that someone she knows and loves has had what many would call a "nervous breakdown".  She can remember, as a child, Momma G speaking of people who had "breakdowns";  Young G never knew what that meant.  As recently as this morning, Miss Ginger wasn't really sure what it meant, until she found out about her friend, and did some google magic to understand the meaning.


In retrospect, this friend exhibited all the signs:  highs and lows, crying jags, nonsensical communication, the appearance of being overwhelmed.  The research Miss Ginger accomplished made her realize some concerns of her own....








Much of her back pain had been caused by tension and inflammation.... exacerbated by the stress of worrying about more pain and tension!  Her recent visit to the neurologist has set her mind at ease about all of that, and the healthy test results, along with the doctor's therapy, has made all the difference in the world!


Her withdrawal from social situations has had a lot to do with anxiety and depression as well.  At it's worst, crying jags in the doctor's clinic and the bosses office were clear indications that there was a problem.  Thankfully, a perceptive physician and a sympathetic (and WONDERFUL!) boss recognized the signs and reacted accordingly.  Today, Miss Ginger realized that her recent jump back into crafts and creativity has been the healthiest thing she can do!  On top of that, she is finding a new social groove, albeit she will never have the stamina and capacity she did 10 years ago... thank heavens!  Who could keep up that pace and maintain the busy life it takes to be 2 people?!


Miss Ginger hopes this post finds you all happy, stable, confident, and comfortable with where you are headed!  And if not... she hopes you will "do the google", recognize the warnings, and get yourself on the right track to happiness and success!!  


Love to all!


Friday, July 6, 2012

NIRVANA!!!!!

OMG- GingerSnaps!!!   Miss Ginger's life is complete! Should a truck hit her tomorrow, no regrets (just a tangled mess of bills, debt, wigs and eyeglasses) would be left behind!!!!


The beautiful lady to the left, Shelby Hodge, has been penning the coming's and going of the social scene in Houston since Miss G got here. (Shelby MUST have been the youngest social columnist in the business back then!)  When Miss G first came to Houston, Shelby wrote for the Houston Post, and Miss G followed her column religiously,  hoping to be a "sightemed" at a "swakienda" SOMEWHERE west of the Mississippi!!


Some years ago, the post folded into the Chronicle, Miss Ginger's oft-quoted source of all things Texicana.  A couple of years after, Shelby disappeared from the Chronicle's fading pages, only to reappear, bolder and more timely than ever, as the Editor-at-Large for Houston's online source for the happenings about own, houston.culturemap.com.  Screw papercity, people- culturemap is THE place to get the dirt on what's happening around town!  No slumming at Eatzie's  Cafe Express  Barnaby's to find the latest issue- culturemap's webeditions appear on your screen each morning, before your Height's-brew coffee even has time to temper your River Oak's hangover from the night before!!


ANYHO, Shelby's most recent column highlighted one of Miss Ginger's signature events, The Mint Julep Pageant, and don't fail to notice, people, that Miss Ginger was the FIRST QUEEN MENTIONED!!!  In the words of Alexis Mateo:  BAM!!!!


Hopefully, all you Houston 'Snaps out there are already planning to attend the event, one week from this Sunday, at Rich's!  And if you're not:  WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM?!!!


See ya there!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

It's Time to Ketchup!


Hey, GingerSnaps!  Once again, Miss Ginger has gone for MONTHS without giving you any real sauce on here, so it's time to catch up!  So far, this summer has been a BLUR!

Let's start, as summer does, with Memorial Day.  Miss Ginger made a quickie trip to the Big Apple to see her dear, dear sister DD, compliments of the oft-maligned Continental
United airlines.  It was so good to see my dear sis, and yes, we did make it to "the Urges" for a little tipping the dick dancers philanthropy!  We also made a stop at Excellent Dumpling House for some Borbequed Pork Buns, just to make Mistress Borghese sorry she chose the beach instead!  

Those who follow closely may remember that Miss Ginger toyed with the idea of a craft blog, but those who follow closely also know that Miss G finds it hard enough making time for this blog, much less the crafts that would be required to start another blog.  Plus, Miss G has enough abandoned blogs out there!  But, always true to her word, Miss G WILL be adding crafts to this blog in the not TOO distant future, and she has been crafting away furiously in order to have many several at least a few posts prepared before she launches into this!  Rest assured, you won't have to be crafty to enjoy these posts- snarkiness is the most important crafting skill for Miss Ginger! One of the things we ARE working on is a Dust Bunny Duster, which I know you will all want to make!
Who needs a Swiffer® with one of these guys around?! 

On other fronts, Miss Ginger was ELATED with Justice Robert's vote on the Affordable Care Act!! Miss Ginger has spent a bit of time on the 'net lately talking some of her more conservative friends down off the ledge, but she couldn't be happier seeing the US take this baby step into the modern world!  No one questions the right of government to provide police protection, fire protection, hell, even the schooling of our children!  But, mention that you'd like to protect the daily health of all citizens in a similar manner and you start a firestorm of controversy!  Nutwood Beth Facebooked this great article that describes the known changes in chronological order;  it's kind of amazing how little impact this will have on most of the US!  Will there be in increase in your insurance premium? Let me answer that question with a question: "has there not been an increase in your insurance premium every year, for as long as you can remember?"  Oh, and by the way...how many tax increases can you remember in your life time from which you could opt out simply by doing something you should have been doing anyway?!! And, as many articles have pointed out, if the "tax on non-participants" didn't exist, you'd have to take out the "no pre-existing conditions" requirement, which would render the act useless.  It's a great starting point, and I'm proud to support the President who signed it into law!


Anderson Cooper came out. Yawn.

Tom Cruise came out left Katie Holmes. Yawn.

So, watcha think, dear 'Snaps.... is Miss Tommasina gay?
"Oh, gurl- you KNOW I am!!"
The Olympic trials have started, and are America's newest form of "reality TV"! Does anyone ever remember US Olympic Trials getting PRIMETIME coverage?  Clearly, there is a god!!



Cool your jets, girls, boiz, and gurls,  he's married!

Dat's right..... maddied!
And, as the rest of the world goes gaga over "Magic Mike",

Miss Ginger says: "ladies, if ya wanted to see hot guys naked, all you hadda do is TELL me!!


Do You Take Plastic?


"I'll take 2 of each, please. And do you know if there's a camera store in this mall?"

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