The People Choose Bad Drag!!

Miss Ginger is not a big fan of televised award shows- especially the modern ilk of "made for TV" award shows that some network executive dreamed up after losing the contract for the Oscars! So, Miss G didn't waste her precious time actually watching "the People's Choice" awards, because A: she couldn't possibly give less of a shit who wins and B: she doesn't even know who most of those D-list made-for-TV celebrities are!

That said, she does, of course, always want to see what her faves are wearing, so she pulled up the red carpet looks online this morning to see if she missed anything FABULOUS!

So you know a "red carpet" show is going to have issues when the carpet is BLUE. WTF?! And worse yet, some stupid queen set designers thought that silver lame would be tres chic for the step and repeat background!  Moron!  Every shot has a big "flash moon" over the shoulder!  Never use reflective material for a background- Stage Dessign 101!!

You also know you are going to have issues when Kathy Griffin is the best dressed at the ball!

Chic, and she looks great in that hard-to-wear color! She even has the body for that hard-to-wear fabric!  She just need someone to follow her around with a steamer to keep the wrinkles out!

My idol, Queen Latifah, almost had it right!

The color is stunning on her. The slit is sexy without being vulgar, and shows off a FABULOUS shoe! Jewelry on the arms and ears to complement the bling on the neckline, which was pretty but a bit strange.  Even stranger, Miss G understands that the off-center stripe breaks up the width. Still, this is one of those dresses where the sum of the parts does not equal FABULOUS! Girl, I love your curves, but you got too much tummy to pull of that sausage casing!!

Katy Perry looked like she just came from a San Fernando Valley prom, which is the schtick she wanted, I'm sure:

Khloe Kardashian looks like she swiped a dress out of Kirsty Alley's closet (PS: here's the "blue flash moon1)

That's pretty much all the people there that Miss G could pick out of a lineup with a shotgun!  The rest are pretty much 2-bit TV performers with network sitcoms and bad occupational dramas.  Miss G didn't bother to research their names, but the dresses are noteworthy:

While she loves the message, the execution is deplorable.  It looks like she picked up a dress at "Hot Topic" and airbrushed the logo on the front.  If you're gonna do, BRING IT, gurl!



This one looks like a cocktail waitress at a Vegas casino! Planet Hollywood, probably!

And finally, the previously unemplyed Conan O'Brien seems pleased as punch to have won this crystal clear butt plug.  I'll bet he knows just where to put it when he gets it home!

Winehouse's TrainWreck®, er, StyleSession®

Miss Ginger's StyleSession® with British Pop/jazz singer Amy Winehouse left her a little depressed. It's a sad story of a pretty young girl whose life was ruined by fame and scrutiny. Truly, my heart goes out to Ms. Winehouse. The girl clearly has issues for which she needs help. Miss Ginger truly hopes she gets the help she needs.

Meanwhile, Miss Amy, here's something Miss G CAN help you with- that Train Wreck you call a "style"!

DO remember that you didn't start out as a freak of nature! You can be quite a striking beauty with appropriate styling!
DO work the 60's vibe hairdo! It works for you, and when correctly done, it's stylish, not weird!
DO wear cotton dresses- they are your friend! They give your very (very!) thin frame a bit of presence!

Speaking of thin, DO eat a sandwich every now and then! All those adult "treats" you enjoy make you look like you are not sufficiently nourished!

And now, Amy Winehouse, your fashion DONT'S:

DON'T wear a bra with a strapless dress- it's overkill. And it's not like you've got that much to hold up, anyway!

DON'T hang out with the Olsen twins- they do nothing for your fashion reputation! And the fact that there's more than one of them makes them look even more like sleestaks!

DON'T forget to add a stylish handbag when you go shoplifting, er, shopping! It will provide a finishing touch to your outfit and provide a place to stash your loot, er, groceries!

DON'T forget to steal, er, eat a sandwich!

DON'T wear outfit color-cooridinated to your beer can. It's gauche and pretentious!

I hope those of you who voted for Miss Winehouse are happy with Miss Ginger's presentation.

She is throwing up a little right now!

Miss Ginger's Bette Midler StyleSession®

The Divine Miss M is truly divine, and one of Miss G's favorite performers! Personally, Miss G loves her style, but dressing such a petite frame can be a challenge! Here are some tips for Bette:

DO show off the girls! They truly are divine, Miss M!


DO wear your hair up. It elongates your look and makes you look taller and leaner!











DO favor jackets that come to the middle of the hip or a bit lower, and DO wear jackets without collars. Both of these extend the line of the body and give the illusion of height.

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DO work the 40's, Hollywood glam vibe! On your petite frame, it's cute and timeless

AND OF COURSE, no StyleSession® is complete without some DON'TS:

DON'T wear dresses that you swiped out of a dressing room in Branson, Missouri. Or off of a cruise ship!

DON'T wear jackets with large collars or double breasts! The scale is too large for your frame and you look like you are being swallowed by your clothes. And, it's just too matronly for you!

DON'T wear matte jersey, a fabric hereby selected as Miss Ginger as the least flattering and least glamorous fabric on Earth! Sure, it's comfortable and it travels well, but you're a DIVA, not a district manager for Lane Bryant!


DON'T wear high waisted pants. It makes it look like someone stole your boobs and set them on a stump!

DON'T forget your pants! We love you, but we don't wanna see your lady business!

AND FINALLY, DON'T forget to look in the mirror. And when you do, if you see Bernadette Peters, or Meryl Streep, for God's sake, take your clothes off and start over!

Let Your Voices be Heard, GingerSnaps!

Be sure to enter your vote on the sidebar poll! Miss Ginger couldn't possibly count all those votes by hand! That's why God invented computers!