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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cream of Twitter...

Miss Ginger has done you all the great favor of editing this hilarious Twitter post to only the best entries! You're welcome!
BTW... it's called "Shit My Dad Says"... and believe me when I tell you, Daddy Ginger could have said any of them!

· "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."
· "Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down."
· "You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."
· "It's not the gardener's job to pick up the dog shit. If you don't want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening."
· "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
· "Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty."
· "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"
· "Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
· "The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside."

What kinda shit did YOUR Dad say?!


Kailyn said...

These are classic. The hundred dollar bill and the Maker's Mark ones? Someone in my family would say that kind of stuff. Most of the time my daddy tries to be genteel and all. That would be his mama's influence. But every now and then he comes out with some winners. Right now I'm kind of stuck. Except for that comment he made a few years ago about Condaleeza that I will not repeat here.

Dannelle said...

All I can remember is "he's one Prince of a guy"

Beth said...

I follow ShitMyDadSays, too. Isn't it hilarious?!

I most remember my Dad saying, when my cousins and I would be bouncing on a couch, or generally just running around and being ornery, "This isn't a gymnasium!" LOL

Cousin Shane and I were jumping on our basement couch one day and actually cracked the frame. So I guess Dad was right. ;)


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