Miss Ginger has done you all the great favor of editing this hilarious Twitter post to only the best entries! You're welcome!
BTW... it's called "Shit My Dad Says"... and believe me when I tell you, Daddy Ginger could have said any of them!
· "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."
· "Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down."
· "You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."
· "It's not the gardener's job to pick up the dog shit. If you don't want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening."
· "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
· "Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty."
· "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"
· "Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
· "The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside."
What kinda shit did YOUR Dad say?!