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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Garage Sale!

The Krewe had our annual fall garage sale today, and boy, was it pathetic! Oh, we made money, and had fun, and drank bloody marys, and got rid of lots of shit, but there is nothing like a garage sale to lay out in front of the world what a pathetic bunch of overconsuming gluttons we Americans have become! We had our requisite table loads of glass floral vases, baskets, and containers. Tons of mismatched pots and pans, probably replaced by shining, feature-laden new matching sets. Lots of clothes, some overworn, some barely worn. Plenty of retro-technology electronics, and several pieces of rarely-used infomercial exercise equipment. Typical garage sale fare that represents American's disregard for the old "use it up, wear it out" mantra our parents had. We buy the "must have", "everybody's getting", "can't live without" products, and use them until they become outdated technology, are replaced by something more stylish, or simply prove to be more cumbersome than they are worth.

A perfect case in point: the "Tater Twister", by Presto. Miss Ginger has never been to, hosted, or probably even driven past a garage sale that didn't have at least one of these "must have" devices sitting somewhere between the 33 RPM LPS and 8-track tapes... usually positioned near a Mr. Coffee in the most well-merchandised garage sales!





Really, what batterie de cuisine could ever be complete without one of these versatile workhorses! It's useful for so many things, like, making curly fries! Or making curly fries! You can even make curly fries with it! Curly fries are the perfect unicorn feed, and unicorn farmers the world over rejoiced when this quality product came to the American market!


Plus, curly fries are a delicious, healthful way to keep your unicorn, and your family, fit, vital, and full of life!

So next time you're hungry for some delicious curly fries, forget driving to the outer burroughs in search of an Arby's! Just drop by your local garage sale and pick up a Tater Twister! Then, stop at the market to get a big potato and a gallon of Crisco! When you get home, all you have to do is find a pot big enough to hold a gallon of oil and you're all set to make nutritious, delicious curly fries for only about 4 times the price of those at your local fast food outlet!

I wonder why on Earth the Presto Company stopped making these?

4 comments:

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad that you did well, but it is sad that we have so much stuff to get rid of. The fries do look yummy :o)

Sam said...

if you wanna make sure I never come by tell me your having a garage sale, I avoid garage sales at all costs. whenever number 9 has a garage sale and someone bickers about a price, I.run screaming from the garage.

David Dust said...

I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA that each Arby's had an industrial sized TATER TWISTER to make their curly fries! Your blog is always so enlightening.

Gotta run ... my Unicorn is getting hongray...

XOXOXO

David Dust said...

BTW, the Word Verification for my last comment was

BULGES

I swear to Jeebus...

XOXOXO

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