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Friday, October 22, 2010

Fanning the STANK- Miss G's Project Runway Opinion

A sick and feverish Miss Ginger watched the 2nd from finale Project Runway last night with disgust and nausea- from more than just this bug she's been battling the last few days! Even though she had been able to keep down water for about 8 hours, she was glad she still had her puke bucket handy when Gretchen's "fashions" came down the runway!

Miss Ginger just does not get Gretchen's sense of "style" one little bit. First of, this is a runway fashion show, not the hemp fibers section at Whole Earth Provision! Not that there's anything WRONG with that, if it's your "aesthetic". But you don't have to go to New York fashion week to get it. You can find it in the corner of an urban flea market in most major metropolitan areas.

And Gretchen loves to market her garments as "wearable" for "real women", but what real woman is going to walk around in this Mobius strip of a garment, hoping an updraft doesn't raise her skirt and drop her top! Miss Ginger is not even a real woman, and she wouldn't tie herself up in that to take out the garbage!

Gretchen said she wanted to play with print mixing, and to do something exciting with animal prints. Well, dear, the rules of print mixing are simple and finite: one print must take the lead, and the other must recede into a "solid". Cheat off of Mondo- he's a master at it. Oh, and PS- there's nothing fresh or exciting about leopard print- it's a little trick we retailers throw at you every year in July like clockwork. We call it "transitional", because it's too early for full-on fall, but too late to bring in spring. It's the same reason you get "spectator" every January. It's as cliche as it comes! And because you included the little "flesh belt" of which you are so fond, you have struck the fatal combination of UGLY and FIGURE FAILING! AUF! Why are you still here wasting oxygen that could nourish the minds of talented designers like Andy and Mondo. my little Mondo!

And that leaves Michael C. Poor Michael C. Poor pitiful Michael C. Poor Michael C who Ivy and Natalie trashed, and Nina and Heidi bashed, and Michael Kors envisioned naked every night before bedtime! If it had not been for Kors, we all know Michael C would have been gone a long time ago.

As snarky as that last paragraph sounded, Miss Ginger is not a Michael C. hater. There are a few truths she holds to be self-evident:

1. His technical skills, while questioned at the beginning, proved themselves in the end.
2. He got screwed on the whole color palette criticism. It's not like Gretchen had 1,000 shades of ugly in her collection!
3. His "schlock it out" vs. "make it work" mentality serves his effortless chic aesthetic well. While others spent hours torturing fabric into submission, he spoke to several pieces of fabric and worked with the ones that spoke back. When it worked, it worked!
4. His breakdown at the end was cringe invoking.

Miss Ginger is not a Michael C hater, and she really would rather have seem him go to Fashion Week vs. Gretchen. Plain and simple, she hates Gretchen's aesthetic. Granolawear has absolutely no appeal to Miss G. Michale C's glam aesthetic, when spot on, was beautiful. Miss Ginger is not sure he has the experience or formal education to WIN fashion week, but it would have been more interesting to see his collection than more of Gretchen's cat vomit.

The one that really nauseated an already dispeptic Miss Ginger the most was Michael C's boyfriend, heretofore known as "Outtie". "Outtie" outted Michael C to his parents, and forced an issue that every gay man should be allowed to handle on their own. No one has the right to out another human being- that's as cruel and unjust as it gets!

And what kind of gay man is Outtie anyway? THE Tim Gunn is coming to your home for lunch, and the best you can come up with is white rice in a Sam's Club aluminum foil pan? It's TIM fucking GUNN for Chrissake- do we have to have the POTS on the table?! Go to Macy's and pick up a couple of decent platters and a bowl- Martha Stewart makes them by hand- and they're cheap!! Hell, steal a "tablescape" from Sandra Lee if you have to- but aluminum foil hotel pans?! What is this- the church bring-a-pot?!

Miss Ginger is as obsessed by a lovely table as she is by lovely fashion... but you knew that, didn't you.


David Dust said...

That boyfriend biatch was wrong on so many levels.

And it cracks me up how bothered you are about the aluminum foil hotel pans - I didn't even notice. BAD GAY!!! :)


Kanani said...

Did you understand that shit collector on the back of Gretchen's dress? What is that, a place to store your eco-Depends?

Yes, I noticed the aluminum pans as well. Good lord. I have no problems with take out, but there's a taste issue when it doesn't occur to someone to put the food in your best dishware!

I love Michael with his son.


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