I Can See Clearly Now....

... the Reign is gone! 


But, let me make one thing PERFECTLY clear!  I am still, and ALWAYS will be, Queen Olympus XLI !!!  But, after as spectacular ball last night, Queen G is totally ready to pass the reign on to QOXLII !

As called for by protocol, after the Ball Captain is presented and seated, the show begins as the audience rises to welcome the reigning King and Queen- moi!  


The ball theme this year was "Mythology", chosen by this year's captain, and the reigning King and Queen were presented as the Ice King and Queen from Norse Mythology,  as chosen by last year's captain, the captain who crowned us!  Queen G was thrilled with the choice and had a blast with the concept! Framed by wreaths of glittering snowflakes in a frosty-cool palette, we entered to greet our adoring guests and be toasted by this year's captain!


The presentation came off without a hitch, which is pretty miraculous, since, the week before the ball, Queen Ginger's MRI revealed that she has not 1, but 5 herniated disks in her spine!!  Certainly, carrying all that snow on her back would not have been prudent, so a team of attendants was assembled to handle the issue.  It's good to be a Queen!  And, in a show of gallantry, as not to make his Queen feel singled out, King Tony chose to have his back piece carried as well, to keep the presentation balanced.  Chivalry is not dead in the royal world of make believe!

Queen Ginger looked resplendent, if she does say so herself, in a gown of her own design and creation, made of sequined lace, faux ermine, and enough silver and blue satin to cover a quarter of a football field- seriously!  There are 27 yards of fabric in that outfit, and it turned out EXACTLY like she wanted!  Just goes to show- if you want something done right, sometimes  you just gotta do it yourself!! Her makeup continued the icy theme, with blue lips and a blush of blue on the cheeks.  BTW, they don't make blue blush, so the Queen had to make that herself, as well!

There was a face in the crowd that many of you will recognize!  That's right, biotches- Chloe Dao, or Project Runway fame, was one of the many well-heeled Houstonians who came out that night to share the Mardi Gras madness with Queen Ginger and the Krewe!  

What a time King Tony and I had watching the ball from our seats on the proscenium, as costume after costume parade down the floor solely for our entertainment!  Of course, we shared the fun with a ballroom full of almost 1,000 of our closest, most personal friends!  By the time the show was ending, we realized we could have partied all night, but soon enough if was time to reveal our successors,  King and Queen Olympus XLI, who were presented at the Royalty of the Myans.

It is, of course, bittersweet, to hand over the realm to the new regime, but Queen Ginger was very pleased to bow to her new Queen and one of her dearest friends, who shall jokingly be referred to on these pages as QEXBF!  


So, the new King and Queen will have their hands full running the day to day activities of the realm, and preparing their return to preside over Ball XLIII, while Queen Ginger will bask in her retired glory!!




Good news is, she'll have much more time to keep all of her loyal GingerSnaps posted on what's going on in her FABULOUS world!

Project Runway All-Stars- The Queen Opines1

The long awaited (and FLAWLESSLY edited!) PRAS began with a bang last night, and we discovered that the producers have replaced Tim and Heidi as mentor and host! 


Joanna Coles is certainly no Tim Gunn.  She seemed to offer more snark and sarcasm than advice and support, which one would think I would enjoy, but I didn't.  The fact that Tim is so lovable is what makes him, well, lovable.  Watching Joanna is like having to kiss your aunt... on the lips. There's just nothing there, and it just seems wrong!


















Tom and Lorenzo named the new hostess "Schmeidi" on twitter.... I think it fits her! Honestly, the Queen doesn't even know her real name to google a picture, so you'll have to look it up on the website if you must know! (She forever will be "Schmeidi" to me!)  That dress she wore for the fashion show looked like it had an entire kindergarten's worth of half-sucked lifesavers stuck all over it. A little birdie told me it's a Mizrahi. Oops!


Speaking of Mizrahi, Queen G has decided that Michael Kors and Isaac Mizrable are pretty much interchangeable.


 Put a mannequin in a black suit and pop on a crazy black wig and bad shoes: Voila! You have Isaac. Pluck off the wig, spray it orange, and add black aviators and boom- it's Michael.  Actually, Isaac's brand of snark and commentary does seem gentler and more sincere! 















As for the contestants, no surprises there, including the first loser.  I remember Elisa being a freak, but she seems even more over the top freaky than her first season.  Perhaps the drugs have had time to rot more brain cells.


Luckily, the contestants are entertaining enough to make up for the lack of sparkle from JC and Schmeidi.  The first episode was definitely captivating enough to keep me watching, and probably making catty comments weekly right here on this blog!  Keep watching! 

Fanning the STANK- Miss G's Project Runway Opinion

A sick and feverish Miss Ginger watched the 2nd from finale Project Runway last night with disgust and nausea- from more than just this bug she's been battling the last few days! Even though she had been able to keep down water for about 8 hours, she was glad she still had her puke bucket handy when Gretchen's "fashions" came down the runway!

Miss Ginger just does not get Gretchen's sense of "style" one little bit. First of, this is a runway fashion show, not the hemp fibers section at Whole Earth Provision! Not that there's anything WRONG with that, if it's your "aesthetic". But you don't have to go to New York fashion week to get it. You can find it in the corner of an urban flea market in most major metropolitan areas.

And Gretchen loves to market her garments as "wearable" for "real women", but what real woman is going to walk around in this Mobius strip of a garment, hoping an updraft doesn't raise her skirt and drop her top! Miss Ginger is not even a real woman, and she wouldn't tie herself up in that to take out the garbage!

Gretchen said she wanted to play with print mixing, and to do something exciting with animal prints. Well, dear, the rules of print mixing are simple and finite: one print must take the lead, and the other must recede into a "solid". Cheat off of Mondo- he's a master at it. Oh, and PS- there's nothing fresh or exciting about leopard print- it's a little trick we retailers throw at you every year in July like clockwork. We call it "transitional", because it's too early for full-on fall, but too late to bring in spring. It's the same reason you get "spectator" every January. It's as cliche as it comes! And because you included the little "flesh belt" of which you are so fond, you have struck the fatal combination of UGLY and FIGURE FAILING! AUF! Why are you still here wasting oxygen that could nourish the minds of talented designers like Andy and Mondo. my little Mondo!

And that leaves Michael C. Poor Michael C. Poor pitiful Michael C. Poor Michael C who Ivy and Natalie trashed, and Nina and Heidi bashed, and Michael Kors envisioned naked every night before bedtime! If it had not been for Kors, we all know Michael C would have been gone a long time ago.

As snarky as that last paragraph sounded, Miss Ginger is not a Michael C. hater. There are a few truths she holds to be self-evident:

1. His technical skills, while questioned at the beginning, proved themselves in the end.

2. He got screwed on the whole color palette criticism. It's not like Gretchen had 1,000 shades of ugly in her collection!

3. His "schlock it out" vs. "make it work" mentality serves his effortless chic aesthetic well. While others spent hours torturing fabric into submission, he spoke to several pieces of fabric and worked with the ones that spoke back. When it worked, it worked!

4. His breakdown at the end was cringe invoking.

Miss Ginger is not a Michael C hater, and she really would rather have seem him go to Fashion Week vs. Gretchen. Plain and simple, she hates Gretchen's aesthetic. Granolawear has absolutely no appeal to Miss G. Michale C's glam aesthetic, when spot on, was beautiful. Miss Ginger is not sure he has the experience or formal education to WIN fashion week, but it would have been more interesting to see his collection than more of Gretchen's cat vomit.

The one that really nauseated an already dispeptic Miss Ginger the most was Michael C's boyfriend, heretofore known as "Outtie". "Outtie" outted Michael C to his parents, and forced an issue that every gay man should be allowed to handle on their own. No one has the right to out another human being- that's as cruel and unjust as it gets!

And what kind of gay man is Outtie anyway? THE Tim Gunn is coming to your home for lunch, and the best you can come up with is white rice in a Sam's Club aluminum foil pan? It's TIM fucking GUNN for Chrissake- do we have to have the POTS on the table?! Go to Macy's and pick up a couple of decent platters and a bowl- Martha Stewart makes them by hand- and they're cheap!! Hell, steal a "tablescape" from Sandra Lee if you have to- but aluminum foil hotel pans?! What is this- the church bring-a-pot?!

Miss Ginger is as obsessed by a lovely table as she is by lovely fashion... but you knew that, didn't you.

Project Runway P.A. Right Here in H-town....

...at one of Miss G's stores!!!!

Nick Verreos, from season 2 of Project Runway, apparently is still looking for a "real job". So meanwhile, he is hosting the Macy's Fashion Challenge right here in H-town to earn a few extra bucks!

Members of the instore audience will be selected to pull a "look" for a professional model, and the winners get a $100 Macy's gift card to spend on their own spring wardrobe!

Sounds cute, and even though on weekends Miss G generally avoids the Galleria like the plague, she may just have to saddle up Veronique and head over there to see little Nikky-nik!

Anyone have a message for me to give him?

Channel Your Inner Meana Garzilla!

Who says Marie Claire is the only place worthy of a fashion director? Miss Ginger's pretty sure we have at least 70 of them right here on TFBOFGG, and now, America's Favorite Department Store gives us a chance to prove just that!

Check out Macy's Fashion Director Sitelet to see what all the cool chics and dudes will be wearing this season, and enter the Daily Fashion Challenge to show the world all the great looks you can put together!

Now, as a highly skilled fashion professional, it would be unfair for Miss G to enter the contest against all the amateur fashonistas out there, but she has put together a couple of "looks" just to show you how cool the site is!

Today's Challenge was to "create a look to meet your ex for coffee." Miss G started by creating a look for Boy G. She wanted him to look youthful, spirited, and confident. She chose a pink Polo from Ralph Lauren, Seven for All Mankind Jeans, and Puma sneaks for a look that says "too busy and fun for you!" Boy G has an ex, and he could total rock this look at Starbucks with him!

Next, Miss Ginger created a look for herself! She has no exes, as she never ends a relationship! Even the biggest asshat on Earth may prove useful to her at some point in life! But, there's always room for one more, so Miss G started with a knock out Jones New York dress in electric blue, her signature color! Then, she added the sexiest ankle-strap stilletos she could find, and perfectly coordinated accessories to complete the ensemble!

Check out the site, and make a look or 2 for Miss Ginger! Please! And post a screen shot so we can all see your handiwork!

Miss Ginger *HEARTS* Christopher!!!

When Miss Ginger first saw Christopher Straub on Project Runway, her initial rection was "he's cute, but he channels Vanilla Ice too much!" Her next thought was "really, does a boy of unknown sexual orientation from Minnesota really think he can win a fashion competition?!" But Miss G has to admit that after 6 episodes, she is smitten! "Ate up in love" as we say in the South! I mean, the facial hair only at the bottom is a little wierd, but without the hat it doesn't look quite so "ghetto" and is actually quite cute!

Christopher's first "killer look" was this hot number in the "Surf Chic" challenge. Not a look Miss G would be caught dead in, but it is gorgeous on this model!Next was this little crumbcatcher number for the "Industry Party" challenge that Miss G could totally rock! This is when her heart started doing flip flops!

When the rest of the designdivas freaked out over the newspaper challenge, Christopher opened his mind and his eyes to the potential of paper, and created a soft, feathery look when others gave us stiff, ugly paper!
I'm not sure who this besuited Brendan Fraser wannabe is, but he better quit feeling up the future Mr. Ginger! Miss G may just have to CUT a BITCH!

Anyway, maybe in Miss Ginger's wildest dream Christopher will stumble upon MIss G's blog and leave a comment! A gurl can dream, can't she!?

SMACKDOWN!!!

Miss Ginger's 2 favorite shows are nominated for the same Emmy! What a smackdown!! And frankly, neither show has had their best season this year!!

Project Runway made is long anticipated moved from Bravo to Lifetime, and also left the Garment District of NYC for the Fashion District of LA. Who knew LA had a Fashion District? Frankly, the moves have left Miss Ginger underwhelmed. Clearly, Lifetime's "television for women" mentality told them they mustn't allow Nina to come across as a bitch, so they have made her this unbelievably sweet-as-pie ghost of her former self. Such a ghost, in fact, that she is rarely on the show, and instead we have a parade of guest judges, comprised mostly of her underlings from Marie Claire magazine. The challenges are boring, the fashiontestants are boring, and frankly, LA is boring. Please, no more sunset/palm tree segways! I want my NY street scenes! And Lifetime, please: enough with the fuckin' tampon commercials!!! We want our Bravo ads for beer, wine, and travel!

Top Chef has always followed the formula of new season = new city, so the move to Las Vegas is a natural. Las Vegas is a fabulous food city, so the opportunities for the show are phenomenal. Unfortunately, the cheftestants are largely a group of dirty looking skanks, who appear to have spent more time designing their tattoos than working on their craft. Miss Ginger finds their lack of hygeine and grooming rather disgusting for a food show! As a matter of fact, she would probably only eat food produced by the cuter of the brothers, and would still feel compelled to make sure he washed his hands before he prepared it!

As for the rest of the show, the challenges seem pretty generic, and could have happened anywhere in the world. I want to see Las Vegas- poolside, casino buffets, showgirls, celebrity entertainers- there are way better sites in Vegas than a fuckin' Air Force base!

So, here's the wrap up:

PROJECT RUNWAY

Boring designers, missing judges, lousy location, crappy challenges. Tim and Heidi aren't enough to save it. Loser.

TOP CHEF

Gail's boobies, the potential for Tom Collichio to take his shirt off, one cute brother, food, and Padma. Winner.

What do you think? Vote on my sidebar!!

Miss Ginger Goes Fashion International!

Did you know last week was Fashion Week... in Bangalore, India?! Miss Ginger didn't even know they had a fashion week, but I guess it makes sense, since you're probably not going to be seeing anything like this in Paris or Milan. Or even in one of Fern Mallis's white tents!

They even have designer nehru jackets for the guys! Zoolander, eat your heart out!

And, it's nice to see that their models are a little bit better fed than Kate Moss!

So, who's ready for Project Runway, Bangladesh?

The Easter Dilemma...

no, it's not "how do we get this huge rock out from in front of this cave...?"

The dilemma is: Who will be attending "Bunnies on the Bayou"? Will it be Boy G or Miss G? The plan all along was for Miss G to go. Each year, the largest donors (Miss G included!) are honored with a tent near the entrance to the party that houses a private bartender. Patrons are encouraged to decorate their tents to match the theme, and you can imagine at a gay event how elaborate those can become.

Miss G and her co-lieutenant decided on the theme "Project Bunway"- "for these 12 rabbits, this the the chance of a lifetime!", starring Miss G as Heidi (pregnant with Seal's baby, or course), Co-lieutenant as Michael Kors, and his boyfriend as "Meana Garzilla" (drag and makeup optional)

But here's the rub- it IS going to pour down rain today! There is a front coming through that you can see on the radar, and it's probably going to pass over Houston at T-1! And, this won't be some little sprinkly April shower. It's gonna be a full-on, balls-to-the-walls, it can only rain this hard in Texas kind of fronts, with severe thunderstorms and maybe a tornado or 2! So, the question becomes- does Miss G brave the weather, and risk ruining a wig and shoes, not to mention the humiliation of a mascara-stained face at one of Houston's largest events? Or does she send Boy G to make her excuses, and make the best of a party that will not be the grand event it could have been due to the weather? She has about 2 hours to decide, then it will be time to start painting! What's a gurl to do?!

SPOILER ALERT: A Top Chef Disaster!!!

Poor Carla (or "Colla", if you speak Emeril) was the carzy underdog who became the fan favorite toward the end of the Top Chef season. She came into the competition wanting "cook out of love", and she did, until tonight. On the eve of the finale, apparently her spirit guides went out drinking on Bourbon Street, and left her to deal with the evil and stupid Casey (who cares how she spells it!) as her sous chef. She led Colla into temptation, and since her spirit guides weren't there to protect her, we were left with a crappy sous vive and an absent bleu cheese souffle. Her love of peace cost her the win in the end. Kinda sad.

Unfortnately, that left Hoses R Us as the winner. Though I have to admit, Louisiana cooking agrees wtih him. He clearly gets it. And that's what won it for him in the end. Assuming that's all that happened "in the end". Just sayin': it's $100,000! I've known "straight" boys to give it up for a lot less.

Fortunately, that left Stefan holding the prize of Miss Uncongeniality. Sorry. If he were the last man on Earth I would kick off my pumps, wash my face, and go straight. He was such a soulless doucheface through the whole competition. His food reminded me of the freezer section at Sam's Club. How ironic that he lost because he froze some fish so he could slice it real thin. He might be a real nice person, and if someday, there were nuclear fallout across the entire world, and he and I were the only 2 humans unnafected, I might speak to him. Maybe. If I couldn't find some cockroaches to keep me company.

So, Top Chef is almost over, except for the "Leah and Douchebag Reunion Show".

At least we have a few more weeks of Drag Race....

then hopefully "Prokect Runway" will find a network!

Projecy Runway and more....

Miss G got really sick yesterday. Actually started Monday. BAD sinus infection. She's gonna have to go to a McClinic tomorrow to get some Biaxin to knock this out (can't take a z-pack 'cause she's allergic). So while the rest of the group went out for another FABULOUS New Orleans dinner, Miss G ate room service at the Marriott and watched Project Runway. Here predictions were pretty much right on except for a few obvious point, to which she will admit:
1. Stankley rented a new stank chamber in Brooklyn so we didn't get to see her stankboat.
2. Leanne didn't actually have to shrink Tim for him to fit in her workroom.
3. She totally didn't see the jungle drum thang coming. And if she had she wouldn't have blogged it because that would have read as racist!
Other than that, she was right on target about Tim's Saturn, Korto in the woods, and Leanne whispering through the whole visit.
I loved Jerrel but that dress was atrocious! And Kenley's McQueen knockoff was well done, if not original.
But Leanne will win. Because Michael and Nina don't like booty or stank.

PS- Jerrell was incorrect for his bitter comment about Michael Kors- totally uncalled for! Gay people of this millenium: let's pull together to dispel the "bitter queen" stigma our forefathers developed in the 90's. They had their reasons, but let it go, already!!!!

Project Runway Comes into the Homestretch!

Now that she is caught up with DVR, Miss G is a little saddened that Project Runway's 5 year romp is coming to a close! If you haven't been keeping up with the show, shame on you! All is not lost, however! Ginger Snap extraordinaire and head Dust Bunny David Dust has been recapping the show all season in his inimitable style, so check his blog and be prepared to laugh your ass off! Now, Miss G won't even begin to take on David's hilarious recaps, but she has decided to pull out her crystal ball and predict the future a bit!

Before the presentation of the final collections, Tim Gunn always pays a trip to the designer’s homes, to give us some insight into the squalor of their daily lives and underscore to our heart strings the true need for winning that each designer's pathetic existence demonstrates. Oh, the drama. Here's how she thinks the episode will play out.

First, Tim drives up to a beautiful marina in Pompano Beach, FL in his Saturn Sky Roadster, looking dapper in his Rayban sunglasses, yet still squinting in the bright sun. The camera pans across the bay to sailboats and yachts, Tim parks, and walks past more boats and yachts until he finally comes to the berth of Kenley’s dreadful tugboat. Amid the filth of the tugboat, a radiant Kenley emerges from below deck, in too tight dark denim capris, with a tied-at-the-waist red sleeveless woven, a matching kerchief in her hair, and wayyyy too much red lipstick for us to believe she was coming up to swab the decks. She waves Tim aboard, and the boat moves as Tim tries to step from the dock. Tim shrieks. Kenley snorts and puts her hand over her mouth. They hug. Tim wrinkles his nose at the camera.
Below deck, Kenley shows Tim to the tiny Crew Cabin she has converted to her quarters/studio/stank chamber. She has removed the lower bunk to make room for her late mother’s old sewing machine (cue tears), and because the quarters are so tight, she has to take her garments up to hang on the deck railing for Tim’s scrutiny. She shows a look with white peg leg pants and a red knit top. “And look!” she exudes. “I made a little sailor hat to go with it!” “Isn’t it a little Gilliganish?” observes Tim. “It’s not Gilligan!” replies Kenley. Her next look is denim hotpants, with a tied-at-the-waist red sleeveless woven and a matching kerchief. “It’s very Maryanne”, comments Tim. “It’s not Maryanne”, whines Kenley. Finally, Kenley pulls out a long white evening gown, with a slit up the side and graphic detailing near the ankle. “Stunning! Just be sure it doesn’t get too Ginger Grant on us”, advises Tim. “I LOVE Ginger Grant!” says Kenley, and with that Tim steps back to the dock and chides “just don’t get stuck in the 60’s! Make it work!”

Next, Tim tools down I-45 south toward the Emerald City skyline view of Miss G’s place of residence, Houston. We see him driving past Neiman Marcus and the Galleria, through the shops of Highland Village and Rice Village, past the Mecom Fountains, and through the University of Houston, coming to a stop at a small white house badly in need of paint and a new roof. There’s no doorbell, so Tim knocks. Muffled shouts from several different high-pitched voices emerge from the house. The door opens, and Jerrell sticks his pixie-hat topped head out. Except for the fact that he’s wearing a hat, he looks like he has just awakened. Tim enters and looks around the room, which appears as if a fabric store and a dress shop have collided. There are tranny ho’s in various stages of dress milling about the, and they are neither acknowledged nor ignored, but simply treated as part of the décor. “It looks like you’ve been working!’ says Tim, to whom a tired looking Jerrell replies “Oh, gurl, you don’t know the half of it!”
Jerrell pulls out a wobbly-ass rusted chrome rolling rack, and shows Tim one stunning gown after another. “These fabrics are exquisite!” drools Tim. “How can you afford such luxury?” “Oh, I have a couple of sideline businesses” replies Jerrell, smacking the seat of a passing tranny ho as he holds a bent spoon over the open flame of the stove. Tim looks befuddled, and trips over a passed out tranny ho as he advises “make it work!”

After a commercial for the Saturn roadster, we return to find Tim driving down a winding highway in rural Arkansas. We pass fields with horses, cows, and other sundry farm animals. We see close-ups of flowers, bees, and butterflies. Tim pulls up to a small house surrounded by a hurricane fence. There is no grass. A filthy child plays in the dirt. A dog barks. The screen door opens with a screech, and Korto appears in a long yellow tied-dyed dashiki with a matching do rag. She is barefoot. Tim struggles with the stubborn waist high gate, and finally he and Korto are reunited on the tiny porch.
Inside, the house is pretty much empty except for a sewing machine on a folding table, another table with neat stacks of fabric bolts, and a dress form wearing a bright yellow satin dashiki with a dramatic gathered neckline. “It’s very Korto” observes Tim, to which Korto replies “Ya think? I don’t know.” She pulls another look out nowhere and says “I’m not sure where I’m going with this one”. Tim asks if she has more to show him, and Korto replies “not yet!” Tim reminds her that she only has 6 months to make a decision on her next outfit, and reinforces that he is sure she will “make it work”.

Finally, Tim drives down a tree-lined street to a small, 30’s era apartment building of brown and tan stucco. He walks down the breezeway and pushes the button on the little plastic doorbell in a box thing on the door that all of those buildings have. Leanne opens the door and whispers “Tim!” What a surprise!” Inside, the camera pans to rococo looking draperies, wood-and-velvet 30’s looking furniture and a kitschy kitchen from an issue of “Old House Interiors” magazine. “Have some tea so you can see my workroom”, and as they drink from tiny little cups they both shrink down to Barbie-doll size so they can fit down the diminishing hall to Leanne’s studio. She opens the tiny little door, and the sun-filled room is alive with tiny wildlife. A squirrel runs in a cage to power the sewing machine, which is commandeered by a raccoon wearing his glasses on a chain. 3 mice are running up and down a dress form with a giant needle, stitching a zipper into place. “My friends are helping me with some finishing touches” whispers Leanne, to which Tim replies “as long as you are the only person working on the garments, I don’t see how anyone could have an issue.” The fashion show begins as tiny bluebirds work in pairs to fly one look after another past Tim, each with a shoulder of the perfectly crafted garment in their beak. “Here’s a look for a tea-party”, explains Leanne. “And here’s one for the Princesses ball”. “And this dress would be perfect for a date with a handsome prince!” “I like what I’m seeing,” says Tim. “But don’t bore Nina!” he prompts, accepting an oversize cup of tea from Leanne for his trip back up the hallway.
Miss Ginger predicts that Jerrell or Korto will win, Leanne will cry, and Kenley will pout. Watch what happens!