The FABULOUS Miss Ginger Grant!

The FABULOUS Miss Ginger Grant!
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Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Sure Sign of a FABULOUS New Year!

Miss Ginger has always found cardinals to be her favorite thing about the New Year. Here in Texas, almost on cue, they begin to show up in our barren gardens and browned out lawns, adding a bright splash of color to an otherwise dreary period for us. Late December and early January is our worst time of year, with a damp, invasive cold that soaks into one's pores! Cardinals are natures bright reminder that better times and brighter days are on their way!

Miss Ginger is also amazed by the way they are always paired! While the drab female hunts, and pecks, and forages for seed, the handsome husband prisses and preens and proves him dominance.

Miss G looked out the window this morning and saw her first pair of cardinals for the new year:

Oops! Wrong pic! Here's the one Miss Ginger intended!

"May the cardinals of happiness grope their way into your New Year!"

Much Love,

Miss Ginger, Shelby, Jackson, and Nog!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Moving On....

Houston Texans line backer Brian Cushing has been named to the Pro Bowl, according to this article in the Houston Chronicle.
Of course, after thanking his coach, his parents, God, and everyone else he could think of, do you think it occurred to him to thank his most ardent supporter, Miss Ginger Grant?? Men are pigs!

Luckily, Miss Ginger had another one waiting in the wings, as our gurl is often wont to do! Check out the new future Mr. Ginger Grant, defensive tackle Jeff Zgonina!

Does this man has the squarest head in the NFL or WHAT?!!! Look at that jawline! LOVE IT!!!

At 6'2" and 285 lbs, this hunk o' meat has ALL the goods he needs to be the next Mr. Grant! Check out the arms:

the thighs and calves! Total GingerBait®, top to bottom!!

He even cleans up real nice, although I imagine it takes a cutom made suit to fit that enormous slab of meat! Good thing Miss G has inside connections!
So once again, Miss G dives into a relationship head (very square head!) first! Do you think this one will work out?

... and the H8ting Begins!

It's was inevitable, really. Yet still, Miss Ginger is quite dissapointed in the Houston public's response to one of Ms. Parker's first actions as Mayor of Houston. Cue the trumpets: the battle is beginning!

Here in Houston there is an archaic law on the books that says the Mayor must be sworn in on January 2nd. This year, January 2nd falls on a Saturday, making it part of a long holiday weekend. Ms. Parker, in consideration of the expense and hassle it would take to have City Hall workers and Houston police work overtime on a holiday weekend, has opted for a private swearing it ceremony to be conducted by City Judge Steven Kirkland, who is also openly gay. A smart, responsible decision, right? Not to mention, totally the prerogative of the Mayor-elect.

OMG, you would think she has decided to paint City Hall pink and replace the fountains with live go go boys! Read the "comments" below the article from the Houston Chronicle! Of the 57 comments, most are speculating "secret backroom deals" , "games", and "hiding in the closet." Jeez, Louise, people!! She has opted to have the legally mandated swearing in privately on Saturday, so that the money being spent for the swearing in of the rest of the City's elected officials, scheduled for Monday, doesn't have to be spent twice!!!

I'm sure Annise knew and considered carefully the scrutiny and criticism she would face when she took on the challenge to run for Mayor. It just hurts Miss Ginger to have to look at all this ugliness in the face! I'm pretty sure Annise doesn't follow TFBOMGG, but if you do: "God love ya, baby! Stay strong! Don't let the h8ters get you down!"

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Back Attcha, Miss Alaineous!

Miss Alaineous honored Miss Ginger with the Circle of Friends Award, and for that Miss G is just as pleased as punch! Miss G "met" Miss A in the old AOL J-land, and we migrated to blogger together! Over the last couple of years I have seen Miss A heal and grow from an abused "ex" to a blushing bride, and nothing could make Miss G happier! What a gratifying journey to watch her work through all the emotions and obsessions of her breakup to a budding romance with a great guy like Mr. M! Who needs reality TV when we have all the plot we need right here in the blogoshpere?

Now, if Miss G understands the concept correctly, she is to continue the "circle" by passing the award along to 5 people. I'm going to try to name people that have not been named, but I'm doing this from memory so I apologize if I miss someone!

1st, I offer the "Circle of Friends" award to Str8upwithatwist, who introduced me to the concept of blogging. I've known him for a long time and love him dearly!
Next, I have to extend the circle to my dear, dear sistah, David Dust! I've know DD across teh interwebz for a couple of years, and have come to know him in person as a great friend, a soulmate, and an all around hell of a nice guy!
Through David, I met Nancy over at Purses and Poop! God, I love that gurl... and her babies! She is smart, funny, determined, and energetic- all the things Miss G wishes she could be! And she a mommy to 2 of the cutest little things you ever have seen!
Crossing the pond, I offer the "Circle of Friends" to Made in Scotland. I find him to be be insightful, intelligent, cultured, and just all around interesting! I always enjoy reading about the escapades of he and his xfe!
And still across the pond, I offer the "Circle of Friends" to Kaio at Melting Duvets! What an interesting occupation, and so different from anything I've ever done! I enjoy reading about his work, his life, and his worldview! Mostly, it's been interesting to know that a sex worker puts on his pants one leg at a time, just like all the rest of us! (Although perhaps he does it a bit more often!)

I have so many more friends in the circle, and I know they all know who they are!!! Be sure you post the icon on your sidebar so everyone knows you are part of my "Circle of Friends!" Love to all!

Miss Ginger's Product Reviews!

A new feature for the new year! Miss Ginger, being the avid consumer, will offer you product reviews, shopping tips, and general advice designed to encourage your consumption and stimulate the economy! It's just Miss G's little way of "paying it forward"!
Her reviews will be honest, unrewarded, and completely and totally unbiased by anything except her own great taste and her real life evaluations!
Miss Ginger will review all kinds of products and services, and will note her recommendations thusly:

Leave it at the store! This product is not worth the tissue you'd blot on!
This product has little merit for Miss Ginger, but some might find it interesting, useful, or worthwhile.

It's a good product, and worth the space it takes up a Chez Ginger!


Highly endorsed by Miss Ginger. You probably need this product!

the coveted FIVE LIPSTICKS!:
What the hell are you doing reading blogs when you don't have this FABULOUS product in your house! Stop now and GO GET IT!!

Now that you all know the rules, let's play the game, okay?!

As you may know, Miss Ginger is a lover of all things kitteh. Especially Jackson and Shelby. Those of you who share Miss G's love for the feline species also know that they sometimes express their little feline needs and opinions "from the bladder". This is especially an issue with male cats, and older cats, both of which describe Jackson. And anyone who has been around cats knows that cat piss is one of the most vile odors on earth! Hence, the need for this product!

The Bissell "SpotBot®" Handsfree Compact Deep Cleaner promises you "the freedom to walk away while it does the work for you!" "While the SpotBot® gets the stain, you get back your day!" "All pets have accidents! That's why SpotBot® is trained to remove pet stains in no time!'

Brother John left his plastic shoes on the floor, and those are Jack's favorite, so he peed on them! The cat urine got on an afghan unnoticed, and was transferred to the sofa accidentally.

Miss Ginger purchased the SpotBot at Lowes for about $119. She also purchased the special "Pet Stain and Odor" chemical for $17.84, which seems like highway robbery for a bottle of detergent.

This particular dose of cat urine had seeped down into the space between the cushions of the sofa, so Miss G immedately realized that the automatic feature of the machine was not going to work. Luckily, tha machine also comes with a manual "Tough Stain Brush" "for versatile cleaning of stairs, auto, and upholstery."

The brush attachment was easy to use on the upholstery, although there was a fair amount of "overspray" as the nozzle has a pretty wide spray pattern. Miss G will admit that this was a particularly difficult test, as the urine has saturated at the edge of the cushion near the welting, meaning it had soaked down into the seam. Now that the fabric, is dry, there is a faint smell of urine if one sticks one's nose down into the cushion, but it can't be detected from across the room as it could before cleaning.

Being the thorough reporter she is, Miss Ginger located this stain on the ottoman to test the unit's "automatic" feature for her gentle readers.

It's been there for a while and God only knows what it is, so Miss Ginger placed the unit on the stain and selected the "Set-in Stain" cycle on the unit.

The machine whirred into action, alternating periods of spraying, scrubbing, and sucking. Miss G noticed immediately that the machine released a lot of cleaning solution, which darkened the fabric and bled beyond the reach of the unit's rotating nozzles.

After about 5 minutes are so, the machine beeped to signal the end of it's cycle, and Miss G removed it to reveal this:

That big, wet, keyhole shaped spot would certainly dry with a dark edge on the napped fabric, and she suspected a big, clean circle would be left, based on the amount of crud in the collection tank.

So, Miss G employed the manual nozzle and hose to clean the entire surface of the ottoman, a process that took about 5 or 10 minutes and yielded embarrassing amounts of crud in the collection tank!

Once dry, however, the ottoman was clean, evenly colored, and spot free!

The Bissell SpotBot® is lightweight, small, and affordable. It operates effortlessly, as promised, but it will leave a perfectly round, obvious clean circle wherever it does it's work. If your carpets are even modestly soiled, it might be smarter to have the entire carpet cleaned. The collection tanks and hoses do have to be cleaned after each use to avoid having all that grossness fester in the machine, and Miss G had to mop the overspray off of the hardwood floors after using the manual attachment on upholstery. Still, the unit did leave the ottoman looking great, and greatly reduced the pet odor on the sofa.


This is a product Miss G will pull out whenever Jackson pees on anything that's can't go in the washer.

What kind of products do YOU want Miss G to review?

Christmas Has Come and Gone...

and so have the excitement, the guests, and the mess! It was a FABULOUS holiday a Chez Ginger, but now all is quiet and that's okay with Miss G and the kitties. For the moment, at least! She's one tired gurl after all this excitement!
On Christmas Eve, Miss G spent a lovely time with her brothers, her niece, and nephews with a low-key, family style seafood feast, a Louisiana Christmas Eve tradition. Brother made fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, and grilled shrimp, and all were delish!
Saturday morning Miss G got up to attend to her meat... it was really large and she wasn't sure how long it takes. You know those really big ones always take forever!

While the meat roasted, Miss G prepared the sides, and delegated the table set to Brother John... under her watchful eye, of course! She chose a blue and silver theme. Not randomly. You will be seeing those blue balls again in early February, although not in their current form! That's all the hints I'm giving!

The sides, by the way, were delish! Miss G did Blue Mac and Cheese, which was as rich and delicious as it sounds! She followed Made in Scotland's green bean technique, and everyone raved that they were so tender without being mushy! There was cauliflower, asparagus, roasted root vegetables, and Miss G's culinary experiment of the year- Yorkshire pudding!
The "yorkies" were delish, but there was only one slight debacle that I'm sure will become part of "the jokes of Christmas Past"....
Yasee, part of the delicious decadance of Yorkshire pudding is that you use pan drippings from the meat to prep the pans and keep the puddings from sticking. You have to get the pans and fat really hot, then ladle in the batter. Miss G miscalculated the capacity of the pans ever so slightly, but that was all it took to run the fat over onto the floor of the 400 degree oven! Good heavens, did it smoke! There was nothing to do but let it burn off while the puddings cooked, and luckily the weather was pretty enough for us to open the windows and let the smoke dissapate! However it went, they were delicious!
The best part of the evening, however, was Miss G's assortment of FABULOUS guests! There was family, extended family, and friends, and we ate, drank, and laughed! It was a great holiday and I'm so fortunate to have such lovely people to spend it with!
How did your holidays go?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Checking it Twice?

Not so much! Miss Ginger isn't doing much shopping this year, and actually, all that she is going to do was done today in one fell swoop at the grocery store! She's not doing the whole "gift exchange" this year with anyone, so there's not a single gift to wrap! Her gift to the friends and family who choose to share Christmas with her will be laughter, spirits, friendship, and a lovely traditional English Roast Beef dinner, with a bit of a Cajun twist! She can't help it- her cooking just turns out a bit spicier than what anyone in England could call "traditional"! She's also going to make another traditional English side that she's not done before: Yorkshire Pudding!

To tell the truth, she has made them before, only she called them by their common American name: "popovers". There's a few differences in the way "Yorkies" and popovers are made and served, but Miss G feels confident enough with her experience and technique that she can make them for a holiday meal without any worry. I think sometimes Yorkshire Pudding is made as one big dish kind of like a souffle, but the recipe Miss G has chosen makes individual servings that will ensure each guest gets plenty of crispy crust!
I'm not sure why the Brits call them "puddings", although I do know a pudding is much more than the blob of thick Jell-o® slop that we call pudding in the US!
What are you doing for Christmas this year?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Look What The Mailman Brought Miss Ginger:

JEWELS! Glorious jewels!! Aren't they just GORGEOUS!???

Unfortunately, they are not real, but neither is Miss Ginger, so what do you expect?

She got a big FABULOUS box and she's so excited she could just pee!!

There were almost 2 pounds of assorted craft quality flatback jewels- these are sold in bulk real cheap and can be glued onto craft projects and the "disposable" parts of Mardi Gras costumes, etc. They have to be sorted, and you get no choice in what you receive, but it's a lot of sparkle for not much money!

She also ordered an assortment of costume quality sew-on jewels. These are ordered by color, shape, and size, and can be stitched onto permanent costumes that will become part of Miss Ginger's fabulous stage and party wardrobe. And, they give our girl a chance to exercize her favorite OCD trait: organization!!!

Is it pitiful that a plastic box of acrylic faux finery can bring a gurl such joy?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

You Ain't Gonna Believe This!!!

(with apologies to the interwebz favorite trucker for borrowing his title... but it's just so perfect!)

Okay, so are you ready?

Miss Ginger actually KNOWS someone featured on "People of Walmart!"


Okay, let me dedramatize a little bit. Miss Ginger doesn't actually "know" her... she just knows of her! Actually, she's one of the many sights Miss G enjoys seeing in the picturesque city of New Orleans.

Yasee, Lakeside Mall, like virtually every other mall in the country, has those God forsaken cart/hut/kiosk things all over the place. There's one about halfway between America's 1st Choice for Value and Affordable Luxury and the pathetically Arbyless food court. This particular cart sells those designer knock-off sunglasses that one buys one the streets in New York and from mall huts everywhere else. As best as Miss G can tell, it is a sole proprietorship, and is staffed daily by Mistress Solange herself. (That seems like a great name for someone who sells sunglasses from a hut in the mall). Anytime someone works with me at Lakeside for the first time, I always make sure they get to see Mistress Solange in all her glory.

Anyway, Miss G about choked on her martini when she was flipping through "People of Walmart" tonight... There she was, at the Walmart down the street from Lakeside Mall: Mistress Solange herself!!! It really is her, people! And the caption, which validates the location, is even more hilarious!

Wow! You in no way shape or form exactly resemble a blowup sex doll. Not at all. Not even the shocked look on your face. Nope, no sex doll resemblance.
OMG- Miss Ginger about peed herself! She can't wait 'till her next biz trip to NOLA to show the folks at the store!!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Shifting Gears!

It's that time when Miss Ginger gets to shift gears! Yeeeeha!!! Christmas is pretty much done for the retail world. There's a week left, but at this point, it is what it is! There's not a lot from my position that I can do to change the outcome at this point. So, back into the office to start the process of planning the next season's execution. The fun never stops!

Christmas is pretty much done for Miss G at home, too. She has declared her home a "no gifting" zone this year- she gives none and accepts none. She will prepare a delicious Christmas Dinner for those who wish to attend, and there will be lots of celebration, and spirit, and joy, and good cheer. Miss G gives her gift to the world every day of the year, and she has asked her friends who feel compelled to spend money in order to enjoy the holiday to write a check to Legacy Community Health Services in her honor! It's the gift she gives all year long, so she may as well share the joy with others, right?

This also means Miss Ginger gets to take a bit of time off and get some progress made on that Mardi Gras costume! Boy Ginger is actually going to wear the costume this year, but, of course, he is worthless without Miss G, so she'll have to do all the sewing, glittering, etc.

Mardi Gras will be here before you know it! Anyone down for a trip to NOLA?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Sewing With Miss Ginger!

Those of you who have followed TFBOMGG for a while know she is quite an accomplished seamstress, and makes most of her own gowns and tents! Each year, there's one special outfit to be made for her Mardi Gras ball, and now's the season! Sewing is a skill she picked up gradually from Momma Ginger, and Miss G still gets lots of help from Momma G when she sews today!
Some of you who have lost important people may know what Miss G's talking about- they are with you always and "talk" to you all the time! Momma G talks to me most when I am cooking, sewing, or contemplating an illegal left turn! "Don't even think about it! If it were safe to turn left they wouldn't have made it illegal!"

When Miss Ginger takes on a sewing project, Momma G is with her every step of the way!

"That lame' is going to be a bugger to sew! How about a nice Ultrasuede® instead?"
"You'd better pin that! If you try to sew it freehand, you're gonna have a mess on your hands!"
"Make sure you press that flat before you go on or you're gonna have a lump you'll never get rid of!"
"Just cut and sew it and get all the seams in place. I'll put the hems and zipper in while you're at school!"

Okay, she doesn't so much say that last one anymore, but damn, I wish she would! Miss Ginger HATES putting in zippers!

So, Momma G watches over Miss G's sewing table with a mentor's eye, and pops thoughts into my head constantly as I work through project after project. She may not be here to help physically, but she helps in her own heavenly way!

And, here on Earth, I have 2 other helpers to keep me in stitches, as well!

If you've ever tried to sew from a pattern, you know that they are notoriously confusing!!!

"With RIGHT sides together, pin coat upper front along welt line, matching small dots, as shown, fig. 1a. Baste, stitch, and trim within 1/4 inch."

WTF?? Miss Ginger has NO patience with "patternspeak".
However, apparently "patternspeak" and kittehspeak" are quite similar, and Jackson picked up on it quite quickly. He absolutely LOVES patterns, and "reads" them endlessly whenever they are avaialable. He's teaching this art to his sister Shelby, as well!

It comes in quite handy, really! Jackson is great a keeping my cutting line, and he points it out and stays focused until I get all the pieces cut!
Shelby, on the other hand, has the attention span of a gnat, and really can't be bothered to carry the torch of the family art forward!
Being the nature lover that she is, she must rather while away the day making love to her "shrub"!
What was the last craft project you attempted, and how did it turn out? Pics?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

More Hot Jocks from Texas!

The Houston Texans may not be the winningest team in football, but they do have a penchant for hiring beautiful men to wear those tight little pants!
Miss Ginger's latest crush: linebacker Brian Cushing!

What's not to love about this rookie from USC???

He weighs 265 gorgeous pounds and has arms of death:

He has this cocky facial expression that sorta channels Matthew Rush, Miss G's favorite porn star:

When he's not playing football, for shits and giggles he competes in the greatest sport of all time: strongman competitions!

And, he has the most dynamic hair in the NFL!!!
Ginger Grant Cushing..... I think it has a nice ring to it, ne'st ce pas?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

She's In!!

Not all precincts have reported, and it's been a close race, but the Houston Chronicle has announced that Annise Parker has an "unbeatable lead" against her opponent in the race for Mayor of Houston, Texas!!!

Wow! An out lesbian voted in as Mayor of our nation's 4th largest city! There are many who thought it never could happen in Texas, but we believed, and it has come true!!!
I don't think Annise is a reader of TFBOMGG, but if you are: "Congratulations, darlin'! You deserve it and we are all damn proud of ya!"

The "Homosexual Agenda"!

My dear friend David Dust reminded all us Houston Bunnies and 'snaps to get out and vote today, and in his plea he referred to Annise Parker's opposition accusing her of furthering "The Homosexual Agenda"! Check it out on David's Blog! What a hoot- those idiots give us credit for being WAAAAY more organized than we really are!

Here is the REAL "Homosexual Agenda"!
9am: Get up late. Again.
10am: Coffee. Toast. S,S,S.
10:30am - 11am: Do hair (own).
Noonish- Show up at work.
1pm - 4pm: Do hair. (clients)
4pm-5pm: Drink wine at work and gossip with coworkers.
5pm: Go to bar, drink more wine, and gossip with coworkers.
8pm: Meet up with other friends at bar. Go eat mexican food and drink margaritas.
10pm: go to sleazier bar to find a hookup.
12am: leave sleazy bar frustrated because there were no suitable hookups.
12:30am: drive through Jack in the Box.
1am: pass out in the bed.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Jock Sightem!

Today, Miss Ginger worked at the store in the Galleria, and at 3:30, as is her habit, she went to the little cookie hut to get a large diet coke. Well, who should she see pushing a baby stroller through the Galleria: Kris Brown, the kicker for the Houston Texans!! Not only did she see him, he actually pushed his stoller right up behind Miss Ginger and waited his turn to buy cookies for his little rugrats! Oh, he is GORGEOUS!

Miss G "met" him once before when he did a PA at what used be "Houston's favorite department store" before it became "America's favorite department store." So she's had her eye on this hottie for quite some time. She's not sure why, but there's something about the sight of a hot guy pushing a pram that just butters her bread! I guess it's those maternal instincts coming through. And I'll tell you, that's a face a mother could love!

But, there's more than a pretty face! Check out those arms!
And, he gives a lovely shape to those tight, shiny football pants, ne'st ce pas?

Miss G scoured the internet and couldn't find one, so she will offer the "GingerSnap of the Year" award to anyone who can come of with a shot of him shirtless! And no photoshopping!!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

It's Done...Finally!

Okay, decking the halls was a 2 day project! Oye, vey, glad to be done! It was a hassle but totally worth the kafuffle! And, it's worth the time since it can stay up until the end of February! Yasee, clever Miss Ginger chose a Mardi Gras theme for her tree this year! So, the tree can stay up, the garland on the mantel can switch from pine to magnolia, and voila! Happy Mardi Gras! She is SUCH a clever gurl and is very proud of herself right now!

The tree itself a a sight to behold! It features the Frog Princess and Frog Princess as King and Queen of their own Froggi Gras Krewe!

And on the mantel, the Frog King is being entertained by a line of Flying Monkey Chorus Boys! Hey, Christmas is all about fantasy, so it works! And it's all embellished with lots of peackock plumes and glitter, glitter, glitter! Glitter fruit, glitter morning glories ( Miss G's favorite flower, BTW!) and glitter balls!

Miss Shelby is pretty proud of herself, too! Being the outdoorsey gurl that she is (?!) she just LOVES trees and branches! Of course, she thinks trees and branches come out of the attic in green Rubbermaid® totes, so her viewpoint is a tad skewed! Still, as soon as the boxes came down (maybe she's on to something?!) she pulled a loose branch of garland out and made it her own! God love her, she has not let that thing out of her sight all day! She sleeps on it, chews on it, and plays with it! If I had known a piece of green plastic tinsel could make a cat so happy I would have thrown her bone a long time ago! Jackson, of course, is WAAAAAAY too cool to be caught playing with a fake tree! Besides, he's busy hunting empty toilet paper rolls, his favorite prey!
Did I mention how much the kitties and I love the holidays?!


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