The FABULOUS Miss Ginger Grant!

The FABULOUS Miss Ginger Grant!
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Miss Ginger has found her Long Lost Twin!!!

When I was a kid I thought that the only person on Earth who "gets" me was my Momma, which, even from an early age, I knew was kinda unhealthy and just not right! But, try as I might, I never really found anyone else who "gets" me- until came to Blogger! Now I know there are 1,000's of GingerSnaps out there who "get" me, even though 987 of them have not found me yet! But Miss G is ever the optimist so she knows they will come!
Anyway, after Miss Alaineous posted her "25 Random Things About Me" I'm pretty sure I have found my long lost twin!
25. I always work backward because I find suspense more dramatic!
24. I'm not a big fan of ice cream. And if I eat it, I want French Vanilla. No other nationality!
23. I'm not so much a spitter, but my voice can carry across continents. Microphones are scared of me. I blow speakers. (And I damage audio equipment, too!)
22. I can't open bottles with my teeth, but I open a lot of bottles! And I have FABULOUS teeth!
21. I had lots of cavities because everybody gave me sugar when I ws a kid so they didn't have to play with me. My teeth were a fucked up mess until Dr. Mitchmore fixed them!
20. I have long thought that the retail industry was where the ADD/ADHD children all came to die! I suffer from it terribly. Self-diagnosed and untreated. It's much more interesting that way! I don't want to be a "Stepford Drag Queen"!
19. Momma taught me to read before I was 4 while we were watching TV. I could spell "Electrasol" and "Kleenex" before I could spell "cat"!
18. I laugh at everything. Cop pulls me over: I start laughing! Boss calls me out: I crack up! But mostly I laugh at bodily functions! God, farts are FUNNY! Thank You for them!
17. I love my job. It give me endless cocktail conversation. "I had this customer who was such a ___!"
16. I love anything starchy. If there's nothing in the 'fridge I'll eat one of Boy Ginger's shirts outta the closet!
15. Swearing is the funniest fucking thing on Earth! There no punctuation as effective as a well placed f-bomb!
14. I live the life of a cat. Eat. Bathe. Nap. oh. and Blog. My cats blog, too.
13. I had shitloads of record till the ex made me get rid of them. Now I wish I had them again. I hate ipods- they wander off.
12. It's easy to hurt my feelings but it's hard to offend me. There's a difference.
11. Here's a place where I'm not like my twin. I overshare. Everything. You can't shut me up. I don't follow context clues. And I'm oblivious to other people's discomfort with the subject matter. Just get me started on farts... you'll see.
10. I love to write and create, and write about my creations! I'm pretty fucking special, and if you've made it all the way to number 10, you probably realize that, too! And I love ya for it!
9. Sarcasm is a crutch and a cross I must bear. The problem with sarcasm is it's kinda like sex without a condom. It's probably okay, but that one time.......
8. I, too adore trivia, but better yet, I have 100% ESP when playing Pictionary! I'll shout out the (correct) answer when you draw the first line.
7. This is the most amazing! I am infamous for switching arguments midstream! You present me with a good debate and I'll switch sides in a heartbeat! But don't think I won't check your facts!
6. Rules are stupid. They challenge us to find ways around them, which we always do. I prefer "guidelines". They are more easily ignored!
5. I believe in "GOD" and I'm sure there is a supreme "being/thought/existence/presence" that moves us into the afterlife. The "Jesus/Bible/Saviour/Cross/Rock" story is a bit hard for me to swallow. And I don't think I will go to Hell for saying that!
4. Another exception: I HATE math! You can't bullshit your way through math, and that frustrates the hell out of Miss Ginger!
3. My cats REALLy have 82 names each! "Shelby Marie Gurlus Poodiddle Monsterina Sweet Pea..." and "Jackson Brown Doggus Boydiddle Animow Dead Kitty Daddy's Littow Clown..." They go on and on!
2. I like to be outdoors and I'm not fond of swimming, either. I could just never get that whole rotary breathing thing. "How the HELL am I SUPPOSED to breathe without picking my head up?!" Swim coaches often said I was sassy. Imagine that.
1. There are no quick answers to the problems in life, and the sooner we stop looking for them, the sooner we can start working on permanent coping. Sometimes "problems" aren't problems at all, and sometimes they define who we are! But if we force them into perspective and keep them in their place, they simply "are what they are" and they become part of the FABULOUS existence we call "Me, Myself, and I"!

Thanks, Alaina, for letting me cheat off your test! We really are soul sisters!


Beth said...

I enjoyed reading these so much, Miss G, and it really makes me want to sit down and share some laughs with you! I have a sneaking suspicion that we'd all have a fun and crazy time if (when!) we meet!

I especially loved #12. There is a HUGE difference.

Love, Beth

miss alaineus said...

miss g let's spit on our palms and shake on our twin-ness-icity!

they could make us the next sitcom- we would be way funnier then will and grace!!!!!

you rawk missy miss. i am better in this life for knowing you!

sopenzor falling all around town as the pencil becomes the new writing tool d'jour!


Sam said...

Ms. Grant "I speak your name" as Oprah would say. We only had one T.V. and our mean ass daddy would change the channel after Hee-Haw, and that was that. Love your blogs, comments, and the fact that you love your Momma as much as I Loved my own.

Indigo said...

I found Alaina first "sticks tongue out"...yeah that was childish. I'm devolving as I get older and loving every minute of it. Rules what are they good for, absolutely nothing...I bend and break them all the time. It's only been the last 6-7 years I calmed down enough to realize I didn't need to spend the night in jail quite so often *winks*...(Hugs)Indigo


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