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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Miss Ginger's First (but probly not last) Celebrity StyleSession®

You may not know, but Miss Ginger is an experienced stylist, among her many talents. Not hair stylist, a "style" stylist. She and Boy Ginger have both done it professionally for years.

So much has been made of Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat lately, which Miss Ginger personally loves. Many have criticized, however, calling it "ridiculous" and such.
It was a good fashion decision. Much better than some other's that Aretha has made during her long, illustrious career.

Miss Aretha is a DIVA beyond compare, for sure, but let's work her through some fashion "do's" and "don'ts". You know Miss Ginger's goal in life is to make the world a more beautiful place. Why not start with the Queen of Soul?

Aretha is a beautiful woman, so this will be easy. And even though this picture is "older", it shows what a beauty she can be with a little styling magic!

DO wear large accessories! You're a big girl, so you can pull them off. And you're a DIVA, dammit, so you really need to be making a statement!

DO stick to rich, saturated colors. They make us look more vibrant, which we need as we get older!

DO cover your arms! Honey, no one wants to see all that excess motion when you're belting out a poignant moment in your performance!

DO wear structured garments made of a fabric with body and shape. At our age we need all the help we can get!

DO go for dresses that have substantial straps that can conceal a supportive bra.

DON'T wear spaghetti straps, ever. One glance at this photo will tell you that pasta is not your friend, gurl! And, God love you,
DON'T wear yellow. It makes you look like a school bus.

DON'T dress yourself for a Red Carpet event- ever! That's why God invented professional stylists. Use them! And hire one for your arm candy, also! That way, you won't leave the house looking like the black "Divine", and your date won't look, well, just ridiculous!

DON'T leave the house with proper undergarments- especially a well-fitted and supportive brassiere! A properly fitted and appropriate bra will hold the girls midway between the elbow and the shoulder, not down near the waist! A well-fitted bra will make any garment look better, it will improve your posture, and will even make your back feel better!

and it will prevent some ill behaved blogger from superimposing 2 of America's largest states on your boobs!

Now, you KNOW Miss Ginger did not digitally deface that photograph- she found it that way on the internet! Honest, she's not that good with Photo Shop! She WAS looking for the original picture, but when she couldn't find the original but did find this doctored version, she thought "it does get the point across!"

So, Aretha, darling- you got it going on! And you know what to do! Just do it, and keep a good stylist handy to make sure you do! Miss Ginger is available on retainer if you need her!


Coelha :B said...

LOL... Good tips! :) Julie

David Dust said...

Maybe now that Ri-Ri has worn THE ONE TRUE HAT, it will give her the fashion sense she desperately needs.

Or maybe THE HAT will whisper your telephone number into Ri-Ri's ear, and she will hire you to be her stylist. You never know, THE HAT is full of surprises!

Oooohhhhh - Tool Academy is back on ... gotta go!!!!


Yasmin said...

I love Aretha but just sometimes she needs help! another one who needs help is Ophara


miss alaineus said...

i think anyone who made fun of the hat ought to be smacked...let us all remember it was like 15 degrees, at least she had the sense to wear one!!!!

sperses-- spare purses only used in a 911 pursemergency, like when you spill a latte on the one you use daily.


Anonymous said...

I really wish I was closer, because I could use a little Miss Ginger help. Though I have never left my house without a supportive undergarment if some sort.

And I loved the hat.

Beth said...

These are all excellent tips! When the brouhaha with the hat started, I thought of some of the outfits I've seen on Aretha over the years. I think she's kind of known for either hitting the ball out of the park or totally wiffing it with her outfits. You gave great examples of both!

Hugs, Beth

mistress maddie said...

I featured te last picture in a post last week and I'm still laughing at it. I still do not know why she isn't wearing under garments! Poor thing.


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