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Sunday, May 31, 2009

DDBW in Pictures!

Even though the Continental President's Club at LaGuardia is kind of a dump, the wireless internet works perfectly, so I've been able to use my wait time to get some photos of DDBW uploaded for you! These are from Friday night- Howard are David will have to post Saturday, because by that point I was too wickedly hung over to deal with a camera!

Here's the toast that started it all:
Here's DD having one for Auntie Flame:
And here's where you biatches all got me drunk! Yes, dear readers, it's YOUR fault! Since you couldn't make it to DDBW, David and I had to take one for the team and drink cocktails in your honor! (Do you all remember commenting "have one for me!?" You did!)
SO... here's to Str8upwithawsist:
Cheers to Nutwood Beth and Bucko!!
Miss Alaineous: Salut!
They were going down like water at that point, so we decided to make a trip to "Urge" to check out the dancing Papis! This one seemed to be unsuccessfully concealing weapons of mass destruction!
David went on a mission to check it out, but try as he might he never did get his hands on those weapons! Or did he?! Shoulda been here! You'll have to check his blog if you want the answer- Bunnies never tell!

< p.b!

Boy G is Headed back to Texas!

to check on Miss G and the Kitties! They always miss their Daddy when he travels! Miss Ginger just never seems to be there for them the way he is!
Once back in God's Country, Boy G will begin the process of replacing the brain cells lost to Friday nights vodka induced stupor, and hopefully will grow a new lining in his digestive tract sooner rather than later!
There are some great pics in the camera, but I can't seem to get them to upload to blogger over the wireless broadband. Hopefully when I get home I can get them to load and the blackmail can begin!!
>p.b!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Spinning!

This hotel room is spinning! Boy G doesn't feel so good- David said Maddie pushed him out in front of a bus!
Apparently the girls have gone sightseeing ot shopping, and the other boys are at DD's nursing equally wicked hangovers!
Bos G is going back to bed!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Boy Ginger is in the hizzle!!!

And I gotta tell you, this place is the SHIZZLE! It's a REALLY nice hotel, and it's in a great location!
So, I've check in with lord god king bunny DD, and I'm meeting up with them in the lobby bar for a pre-cocktail party cocktail in a little while! Then, we're off the cocktail party to meet, drink, and gossip about all the bunnies who aren't hear!
>p.b!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Disaster Averted!


Since Miss Ginger insisted on handling the reservations and bookings for the DDBW trip herself, Boy G figured he better get all the confirmations and such together since she won't be coming along. He knew the airline reservation was fine because he printed his boarding pass this morning, but when he went to Orbitz to find the hotel and car service, something was wrong... the trips weren't coming up in the correct order. He couldn't figure out what was going on, and he stared and stared at it until he realized what was going on- that wasn't a "5", it was an "8"!! Miss G was too vain to wear her glasses, and in her farsighted stupor made a reservation at the Sofitel for AUGUST 29-31, not this weekend! Quelle dommage!!!


And guess what?! It's a NON-REFUNDABLE reservation, so it can't be changed!!!


Luckily, the Sofitel HAS rooms available tomorrow through Sunday, so Boy G was able to book a room at a "last minute rate" that wasn't too much of a rape! So, he's all set for DDBW, although he's gonna take a cab instead of a car service, since he won't have the prima donna with him!


And for any of you "last minute Louies" out there who wished they were going but didn't book it, the Sofitel has rooms! Get on line a book it!


And, since the original reservation is "paid fer" and can't be cancelled, who wants to join our gurl on "Miss Ginger's Misfortunate NY Theatre Trip", now scheduled for AUGUST 29-31st! Luckily, that's a weekend, too! The weekend BEFORE Labor Day, so Boy G will probably take vacation the week between, starting in NYC and ending in NOLA for Southern Decadence! Make your plans! EVERYONE'S invited!




How's that for making lemons into lemonade?

Calling Doctor Strangeglove!

Miss Ginger has tried this: and this:

and she's even tried this:
but NOTHING seems to relieve this pesky yeast infection! She has made an appointment to see her "lady doctor" Dr. Strangeglove tomorrow, so it looks like she won't be making to Drunken Dust Bunny Weekend!

So, Boy G is just going to leave her with one of these:
and let her work out this lady issue on her own!
He's actually quite relieved that he won't have to deal with dragging all of her shit, hassling with security at the airports and the hotel, and arranging a motorcade for her arrival! It will be nice to enjoy meeting all the Gingersnaps and Dust Bunnies without all that DRAMA!!
So, Boy G's flight leaves Houston at 9am tomorrow! He's so excited! He'll arrive early afternoon, plenty of time to get settled and nourished, maybe make a liqour run, and take a nap before the "official" Dust Bunny Welcome Party! That event is SOOOOO exclusive that he doesn't even know where it is yet, but all those years with Miss G have made him pretty good at hunting down a party! Dirty Martinis, here he comes!
And Saturday Night isthe "Big Event" at Pieces! 9pm! Be there, bitches!








Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Miss Ginger's Favorite New Sites!

These sites may not be new, but they are new to Miss Ginger and she thinks they are hilarious! The first is called AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com, and they post, well, just that! Talk about pages and pages of WTF?! hilarity!!!

The second is called This is Photobomb, dedicated to photos with people in the backgrounds unbeknowst to the real subject of the photographer. Some are accidental and some are done intentionally, but they are all funny!
Miss Ginger has added them to the blogroll on her sidebar, along with her other favorites, so TFBOMGG can be your one-stop shop for daily blogreading!

Miss Ginger Has a New Saying!!!

Oh, and a big snappy Ginger welcome to #46! Our little family is growing! Everyone link a friend so we can hit 50!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Home Sweet Hotel?

What a long day it's been for Boy G!! He had to get up at 4am this morning to make it to IAH for a 7am flight to NOLA. When he got to the airport to check in, he had that moment of panic when he realized that he didn't have his driver's licence in his wallet because he stuck into his pocket when he went to walk at Memorial Park on Sunday! The nice lady from the TSA acutally let Boy G through with the hideous photo on his Sam's Club card, but she warned him that she couldn't guarantee that her co-workers in NOLA would be so understanding. Another coworker who found himself in a similar situation verified that the NOLA TSA were ID Nazis and wouldn't let him through once! Quelle dommage- what to do? Well, what do the Ginger's ever do when their ass is in a crack? CALL THE LESBIANS!!! That didn't go as smoothly as usual, because even though they were, in fact, awake at 6am, they weren't exactly "up", since Miss Sonna's back was once again out of whack so she was down for the count and unavailable to help! But her darling sweetie Miss D actually went to Miss G's, dug through the pockets of Boy G's dirty laundry, and FedEx'ed the DL to him overnight for 8am delivery! Do the G's have great friends or what?!
Anyho, the day went fine, although the Boy's work is still wrought with transition issues and they still can't quickly put their fingers on the data they need to make good business decisions. Time will heal, we are told!
It was strange checking back into the hotel! We spent so much time here last fall, and the hotel is SO lovely, that it almost seemed like a homecoming! The girl at the desk didn't care that I had no ID- she remembered me! The bartender ran into me on the way from the desk to the elevator and gave me a big hug! I really did feel like Eloise returning to the Plaza!
Speaking of NYC hotels (how was that for a segway?!) Boy G can't wait to check into the NYC Sofitel on Friday! He's hoping Miss G will come with him, but she's been suffering a hideous yeast infection and she's waiting for the Monistat 10,000 to kick in! Plus, she HATES going in public wihthout an escort, and no gentlemen have offered their arm as of yet! So, her bags are still in the attic, but Boy G has already starting putting outfits together for every 10 minutes of the trip! DDBW, here we come!

Monday, May 25, 2009

A Very Special Memorial Day Memory!


This Memorial Day Miss Ginger would like to take a moment to remember a very special serviceman, her Daddy Ginger, Frank Burch. Growing up, I was one of the few kids in school whose Daddy had served in WWII- most of the other kids' fathers were much younger and served in Korea. But Daddy G served his stint overseas during the big war, most of the time stationed in Shanghai, India, and I think Burma, which is now Mayanmar. Dad wasn't necessarily the most decorated soldier, or the most battle scarred, but he did serve his country's Air Force with pride as a payroll sargeant, and saw enough of what was going on to tell some pretty interesting stories to the housefull of boys that were his kids!

Give Daddy a couple of martinis and get him started and he could go all night! He told of the time he thought he'd get out of going on a 50 mile hike by holding the thermometer up to a lightbulb. The doctor told him he HAD to go on the hike because with a temperature of 140 degrees he could keep the other soldiers warm at night! In India, they lived in tents, and he and his tentmates kept a pet mongoose to keep the COBRAS out of the tent! Eek!

Wartime was rough, but based on the picture above, I take it there was plenty of time to visit the officers club for some heavy duty drinking! And no wise cracks about the chummy hand placement- that's my Daddy you're talking about!

As I was hunting for the Air Force pics I came across another old pic that I wanted to share, of Daddy with his 1st or 2nd grade class.

Dad's the one front and center looking like a Howdy Doody version of my brother Mark at the same age. And doesn't the teacher look like Miss Hannigan from "Annie"!? I remember looking at this picture with Daddy and saying "I can't believe some of those kids' mothers let them go to school with no shoes on!" and Daddy would say "Gorgeous Georgeous (that's what he called me!) it was the depression! Those kids didn't have shoes!" That always kinda hit home for me, and when I think of the depression I always think how strange it would be to me to be sitting in school next to a dirty kid with no shoes!
Anyho, I love you and miss you, Franchie (that's what we called him!) God bless you!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Are You Ready for the ROUNDUP?!


June 7th, 2009 3pm Brazos River Bottom, 2400 Brazos, Houston, TX
Miss Ginger's Roundup is comin' 'round the corner and it will be here before you know it! This is her biggest show of the year, and will feature performers from all over the community! Most importantly, Miss Ginger will "Round Up" the proceeds to the nearest thousand, and double the total!
So performers, if we raise, say, $800 in tips, Miss Ginger will "Round Up" to $1,000 and then double, so we would donate $2,000 to Legacy Community Health Services! But, if we can raise $1,001 from the floor, Miss Ginger will "Round Up" to $2,000 and then double for a donation of $4,000!!! And if we can get $2,001 on the floor, it parlays into a $6,000 donation to Legacy! Don't you want to be a part of that!? So round up a number, round up your supporters, and head to the BRB for a country swingin' good time!!
And if you're not a performer, we need you and your friends to head on over with a fist-full of dollars to help us hit a least $1,001!!! Or, bring your checkbook and make a tax-deductible donation to Legacy! Can't make it to the BRB for the show? How about sending a check to "Miss Ginger's Roundup", c/o Sonna Alton, Legacy Community Health Services, 1116 Jackson Avenue, Houston, TX 77006. We'll add it to the bucket and count it toward the "Round Up"!
Miss Ginger's counting on all her friends and fans to make this event a HUGE success!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Miss Ginger's Cameo in the World's Longest Recap!

Through the miracle of Feedjit Miss Ginger has discovered that she's been tagged in what may be the world's longest televesion show recap! On the kinda random site, Television Without Pity, apparently people go in and recap television shows and they are there for the interested world to see. Miss Ginger backtracked through Feedjit and discovered that this random blog has mentioned her on page 10 of it's 23 (yes, 23!) page recap of a show called "Supernatural", a show of which Miss G has never heard. I'm not sure if the show is supposed to be about the Hardy Boys, or if the blogger simply likens the main characters to the Hardy Boys, and I certainly don't have the time or inclination to read 23 pages to find out! (If any of you retirees out there take this on, I'd appreciate a "Readers Digest Condensed Version!)

Anyho, here's the line where Miss G is distinctly mentioned:




Not sure about you, but I don't know of any other overweight drag queens in the state of Texas named Ginger Grant! They must be talking about me!
Anyway, the boys on the show are really cute, so thanks, Damien, for the shout out, and the chance to fantasize about a romp in the sack with either of these 2!



Life Chores!

Boy G is taking a personal day from work today to help Miss Ginger with some "life chores". You know, little pain-in-the-ass things that are not fun but you gotta do 'em?! So, we are starting the day at the car dealership to get Veronique her 7,500 mile check-up, even though she's a little late. Then, errands and some gardening. Oh, and the garage has been a shithole ever since Ginger's last show! So that's gotta be cleaned out, too!
Luckily, after tomorrow it's a 3-day weekend so we can get everything back in order before we start travelling again first thing Tuesday am!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Vote for Anita!

Houston's own Anita Bump is auditioning for the second season of RuPaul's Drag Race! She's a great entertainer with a ton of energy, and she needs your vote to get on the show! Check it out:



video

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bad, Bad, Gurl/Boy!!!

Ginger was a bad, bad gurl today! She TOTALLY cheated on her diet!!! One of the secrets to her loss of 20 pounds is that she has stayed off the "sauce" for about 24 days- it made a big difference! But today, she got crocked- at "Crocker" of all places!!!



Crocker is a "not new" bar here in the Houston Montrose area. I call it not new because it one of those buildings in the midst of the gayborhood that runs as a bar for a while, then closes, then reopens with a new name, then closes, the reopens, etc. If it were on Dynasty is would be named Crystal Martinis BriarPatch Crocker Carrington!

ANYHO- Boy Ginger went there with Miss Sonna to support a couple of this year's candidates for Mint Julep- the uber cute Alex and a newish drag queen who's name escapes her at the moment- Vivica, I think! He sent Boy G because he KNEW Miss Ginger would drink too much. Boy G was going to alternate Mich Ultras and water and keep the calorie count below 200.

Well, guess what. He drank like 6-sh, (he lost count) and not one single bottle of water!! So instead of 200 calories it was almost 600, maybe more, and he has totally blown the diet for the day!! Miss Ginger is PISSED at him!!! She stayed home all for naught! For as good as he was, she coulda gone out and had a GOOD TIME!

Anyho, you gotts love the sign outside of Crocker! It has become so iconic they are now using it as a logo!

We Gained a 'snap!

Debbie makes 45, which is a nice, even number.
Well, it's not really an even number, but in drag queen math it represents a "chunk" of 5, which works when one is OCD. It's all about "chunks!"

Friday, May 15, 2009

It's Like Crack for an OCD Drag Queen!

Not only is Miss Ginger losing weight on NutriSystem®, she living an OCD Drag Queen's dream come true! Imagine: color-coded meals that you can pop in a microwave and eat in 2 minutes! Red is dinner and green is lunch...
blue is breakfast and pink is snacks/desserts.
Miss Ginger is so OCD that she has even prepacked all of her grocery item "add ins" in the proper serving size, so in the mornings she can grab her days food, throw it in her little lunchbox, and head out the door! I would have started this years ago if I had known how easy it was, how good it tastes, and how well it works!The second shipment came today, and it had a little bear with a 10 on his chest to commemorate my first 10 pounds lost! The goal is 60 pounds so Miss G's gonna have a whole pack of rainbow bears by the time it's done!
Miss Ginger promises she won't bore you all with Nutrisystem® posts often, and she won't have trouble keeping that promise since Nutrisystem comes with its own blog, which probably should be called "The Big, Fat Blog of Boy Ginger!" Check it out if you wish, but I'll warn you it's not nearly as much fun as TFBOMGG!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Life Among the Transition Weary...

Once again, Miss Ginger's alter ego, Boy Ginger, finds himself going through "transition" at the day job. "Transition" is a way of life for those retail companies that survive this horrible economy, because the alternative to "transition" is "liquidation", which is a much uglier word!
So, we moved offices from one side of the hall to the other to "improve synergy" between us and our "partner" who connects to our boss on the org chart by a faint dotted line....

we have spent the last 2 days in a mind-numbing "cascade" of kick-off meetings in which numerous powerpoints attempt to free-base the corporate kool-aid of new programs and structures designed to "integrate" our "intelligence".....

we have resolved ourselves to the fact that the "focused scope" of our new jobs will allow us to "deep dive into the details" and become muddled in minutiae that won't generate 15 cents worth of revenue....

we've added another layer of management "in the field" who won't know how to work a register but will always choose to "visit" on days when the stores are balls-to-the-walls busy.....

we will endure yet another "systems conversion" in which all of our usefull, familiar reports and screens will be replaced by a confusing web of information that can't be printed if you ever do locate what you need....

and we smile because we have a paycheck that we are "pretty sure" will clear the bank without bouncing!


It's retail for God's sake, not rocket science. You buy stuff, and sell it for (hopefully) more than you paid for it. Oye!


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sneakin' in the Back Door!

2 new 'snaps snuck in the back door when Miss Ginger wasn't looking!
Welcome, #43 and #44- hope you enjoy it here!

OMG!

Miss Ginger witnessed one of the craziest things she has ever seen in her life today!!! She's never experienced anything like this before, and she hopes she never does again!
We had this corporate event at the House of Blues tonight (she didn't even know Houston HAD a House of Blues!) which is right down the street from the office, so she left the parking garage a little later than she usually does. As usual, she pulled out of the garage, and got stopped by the first light, right in front of the Subway sandwich shop. As she's waiting for the light to change, she sees a "belly" out of the corner of her eye on a person standing on the sidewalk in front of the Subway. Just as she's sarcastically thinking, "nice physique, dude", she realizes it's not a dude at all, but a woman with rather large breasts who has pulled her shirt and bra up around her neck to let her belly and boobs enjoy the night air! Miss Ginger averts her eyes, but than has to turn back for another glance at this train wreck, who, by the way is oblivious to the presence of Miss G or anyone else for that matter. Well, as Miss G looks again, this creature proceeds to roll her pants and panties down to her ankles, and stands there rubbing her belly while she allows her cootchie a breath of fresh air as well!! Now mind you, Miss G's car is stopped in the street between this peep show and the bus stop full of people across the street, so she didn't get to see anyone else's reaction to the spectacle, but as she pulled away from the green light, she knows she left them with an eyeful!
I'm not sure if the poor thing was drunk, high, schizophrenic, or just plain crazy, but I guess she figured when a girl's cootchie gets hot, she's gotta do what she's gotta do to cool it off!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Honesty Award.

Miss Ginger received "The Honest Blogger" award from Edder over at "I Don't Care for Your Tone", an honor for which she is truly grateful! By the way, if you're not reading the musing of this beautiful and hilarious Canook, check her out here!
Anyway, along with the award, Miss Ginger is compelled to share 10 honest things about herself, so here goes:
1. She is terrified of snakes, the one animal she just can't abide. If she sees a picture of a snake it will give her bad dreams at night.
2. She LOVES to talk about bodily functions! There is nothing funnier on earth than a good fart joke!
3. Her favorite hobby is people watching. She can sit in an airport for hours, imaging the back stores of all the freaks and ho's that pass her by.
4. Not a day goes by that she doesn't miss her late Mother. Of all the people Miss Ginger has lost, that has left the largest hole in her life.
5. She talks to her cats like they are people, and responds as though they have answered. The conversations sometimes go on for hours.
6. Her favorite part of her day job is 5pm.
7. Her favorite part of her stage gig is perfume. Her least favorite part is wigs- damn those things are hot! Shoes and pantyhose be damned, it's the wigs that drive her crazy!
8. She thinks the funniest word on earth is "butthole". It's like there's a hole in your butt- hope nothing leaks out! Why don't we call our nostrils "noseholes"? Our our mouths "faceholes"?
9. She cries at the end of stupid, sappy, feel-good movies and broadway shows, because they are over and she wishes they could have lasted forever!
10. She takes pills that make her pee a lot, which can be really inconvenient when she is tucked into 3 layers of panty hose!
Now, Miss Ginger is also supposed to award the Honest Blogger award to 7 bloggers of her choice, who hopefully will respond will even more titalating revelations! So, the Bloggy Award goes to:
David at David Dust
Joy at Babble On
And if you are not reading these blogs, check them out! They are hand selected by Miss G as grade A, certified top quality, filet of the web reading!

Back Home and Catching Up!



Miss Ginger is back home from Vegas and catching up on her blog reading!


She spent the weekend running money through one of these, but she could just a well have stayed home and run it through one of these!


But at least she got to visit with bubba, drink martinis, eat shushi, and just people watch all weekend long! Great trip!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Miss Ginger's Take on "The Fashion Show"---

Bravo's knockoff of it's own creation, "The Fashion Show", started tonight with Izaac Mizrable and Kelly Rowland as hosts. I mean, what's not to love about a TV show named after a shopping mall in Las Vegas?

As do all good "occupational reality" shows, this one starts with the intro of the "characters", and this one accounts for all the usual stereotypes and every genus and species of freak! This is all punctuated with plenty of Mizrahi mincing and that terrible face he makes that makes it look like Kelly Rowland just farted!
I'll leave the recap of the drama to David Dust, for that takes far more time than Miss Ginger cares to invest, and his will be funnier anyway! But I WILL share each week Miss Ginger's take on the contestants, the hosts, and anything else she thinks she can poke with a really sharp stick!

Of course, these shows always have their "class clown", the superfreak that everyone loves or hates. For this show it's Merlin, and so far Miss G hates him! Mostly because he looks like Tattoo from "Fantasy Island", and that's all the reason Miss G needs!












The next throwback to ancient television Miss G could have lived without is Reco. She just kept waiting for him to exclaim "di-no-MITE!" but luckily it never happened!













"My Little Pony" almost got her ass sent home tonight! Miss Ginger could not get past her makeup, which unfortunatley doesn't read in these photos, but was garinglingly obvious on national TV. Some PLEASE tell this girl to confine her blush to the apples of her cheeks; don't sweep it on with a broom from your nose to your temples! Oh, and Mary Kate wants her school bus yellow shoes back!











I spent the entire episode trying to think of who Keith reminded me of:












Then it hit me like a ton of bricks:

Maybe not so much Girl Tammie Brown, but definitely Boy Tammie! I couldn't find a pic of him so you'll just have to trust me on this one!
And then there was that 80's cougar thing, Maven or Haven or whatever the hell name her hippie freak parents gave her. She was wearing ARMWARMERS! What the hell are ARMWARMERS? Can't you afford a whole sweater?
Enough!!! Off to Vegas! More from there!

A Weekend of R&R!!

After last weekend's show and a busy week this week, Miss Ginger is ready for some R&R!!!
There will be plenty of this,
and this,
and some of this as well!
Bubba John will be there, and we're gonaa have some fun!!!!



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Free Grub!

In an interesting attempt to end world hunger, Oprah is buying us all lunch! Isn't that swell of her?! She's invited the world to go to her website and download a coupon for a free lunch at KFC!
There are a couple of comments Miss Ginger just can't miss the opportunity to make:
1. Think of all the unfortunate homeless Americans who could benefit from this meal, but they won't be able to print the coupon because the port authority won't let them plug in their laptops. And besides, their printers are out of ink.
2. The coupon clearly states that the coupon is valid through May 19th, except May 10th- Mother's Day. Is KFC really expecting a Mother's Day rush? Do people REALLY bring their Mom's to KFC for Mother's Day?!
3. That grilled chicken must be some pretty nasty shit- this is the second time they've tried to give it away in 2 weeks!

Enough rant- I'm headed to Popeyes!

How do you douche?


Here's what Miss Ginger uses when she feels, you know, "not so fresh"!
She gets impatient when stinks!
credit: engrish.com

Monday, May 4, 2009

Happy Cinco de Mayo!






Miss Ginger is not certain why Mexico spends the fifth day of the fifth month each year celebrating a French condiment, but suspects perhaps they are just showing respect for a different culture! She finds it odd they chose mayonnaise, since she can't think of a single Mexican recipe that uses mayonnaise, but maybe that was the point- to get the Mexican people to try something different! But I guess Cinco de Ketchup and Cinco de Mustard were taken, so we've ended up with Cinco de Mayo!


Miss Ginger's Texas homeland is ripe with the culture of our neighbors to the south, so she is lucky to able to enjoy the Cinco de Mayo festivities at some of Houston's swankiest establishments. This one just REEKS with class!
Miss G can't help but appreciate a party where the lines to get in the door are a mile long, the kitchen is so popular they can't keep up with the demand, and margaritas and beer flow like water, mostly because the machine can't freeze the margaritas fast enough and the beer is flat and warm! Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! Be sure to put mayonnaise on your tacos in honor of this noble Mexican tradition!













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