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Friday, March 19, 2010

Miss Ginger's Guide to Beautiful Feet!

Even though Miss Ginger farms Boy G's gross retail feet out to Vietnamese professionals, she doesn't trust her tender tootsies to anyone but elle-meme!

Here's her foot care routine. Like all good things, it starts with a trip to the Mall!

First stop: the Body Shop, for a jar or two of Peppermint Pumice Foot Scrub! Believe Miss G when she tells you: this shit's the shizzle!!!

Next, she swings by Target for a brand new Scotch-brite pad! You know, the kind Celia uses to scrub baked on shit out of a casserole dish! But you have to have NEW one!!

And finally, she swings by Aveda for a tube of Foot Relief Creme. She's tried them all and it's the best!

So here's the regimen: In the shower, take a big glob of the Peppermint Scrub and plop it onto the wet Scotchbrite pad. Now, scrub the shit out of your feet like they were covered in baked on horseshit! Scrub! Hard! Use a circular motion and concentrate on the heels, but be sure to get the big toe, the balls of the feet, and the cuticles!

After your shower, dry your feet carefully, slather on the Foot Relief Creme, and put on a pair of white cotton socks. Now, go to bed. When you awaken, your feet with be blissfully soft and smooth. If they aren't your skin was seriously fucked up and you need to do it again for a few nights until they are!

Now, don't let them get all crusty ever again, okay? If Miss Ginger has to ride an escalator behind you and see those walking scabs at eye level she might just barf!!


Beth said...

Oh my...I'm not sure what it was about this, but you tickled my funny bone, Miss G! The more I read, the more I laughed, and I love you bunches for giving me a good laugh after a rough day! You're the best, my dear! XOXOXOXO Beth

mistress maddie said...

Miss G -thanks for the advice! Being on my feet all day I try to keep up with them. I usually go to the spa here and have Beatrice do them and my nails. But I'm trying this. I have all these store near me. Thanks again for the advice and you may be saving me some damn money girl! You know, for the Urges fund!!!!!!!1

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Lucky I have not dry caches going on. The pad sounds painful.

mrs. miss alaineus said...

scotchbriting the feet is a good tip may have to try it! i hate how the pumice stones crumble after a while.


check out the cool pingtja! i cant wait to hit it with a stick!


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