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Saturday, February 14, 2009

"The Last Rose for your Valentine"-

When I was just starting my own gardening, I had the hardest time remembering the best time to prune. Momma Ginger told me one time "cut the last rose for your Valentine, then prune it back hard for the new season." She said she didn't know if it worked everywhere, but it's the rule I've followed for years on the Gulf Coast. It makes sense, because by Valentine's Day the chance of us getting a hard freeze is pretty slim. It's more likely that we will have a warm, wet snap that will sprout new growth, and you want to prune before that.

Miss G has been looking forward to pruning day, because she's had some things looking pretty scraggly since the hurricane. Those poor hibiscus (hibisci?) needed it badly, and there's this umbrella palm that get's totally out of bounds (it needs to go completly!)

As Miss G hedged and trimmed and cleared, it occurred to her how much the rules of Texas Gardening are pretty much the same as the rules of Texas Drag!

Rule #1- "Cover up what ain't pretty"! For gardening, it's "cut off what ain't pretty". And for you drag queen gardners, please don't get these 2 mixed up. That would truly be a hot tranny mess!

Rule #2- "Bigger is better". Boobs, hair, blooms,- it's Texas, for Gawd's sake!

Rule #3- "It'll grow back". (with limited exceptions. see rule #1) For drag queens, shave it, trim it or tan it. In gardening, prune the hell out of it- it'll grow back!
Rule #4- "It gets uglier before it gets prettier". If you've seen my transformation video you know what that means for a drag queen. In gardening, when you first prune, it kinda looks a fright util things start to fluff back up a bit.

I could go on and on, but I won't!

When do you prune in your neck of the woods?


miss alaineus said...

happy vd day, but not the vd that requires a visit to the clinic, a shot in the ass and an rx for horse pills of course ( i just love the vd jokes can you tell??)

crongs-- what happens when you wear white crocs after labor day :D


frogponder said...

The Engineer prunes when growing things get in the way of lawn mowing. Slash, take that!
He piles it about six feet high and one day he fires up the wood chipper and abuses the neighborhood's ears (except for Ken across the street who lusts after the wood chipper). What is not reduced to cells and dust gets piled (six feet high) and set on fire with the flame thrower (propane weed killer). That usually sets part of the lawn on fire and, if we are lucky, a bit of wooden fence at the same time. Ken lusts after the flame thrower too. But Ken has a snow blower and a leaf blower and a power edger so we're not sure where the Neighborhood Boys with Toys Sweepstakes has ended up.

Joy said...

The only thing that prunes around here is me when I stay in the bath too long! :-)

Anonymous said...

G-never fear,I am sure the yard girl will be by to p/u and assist when the rain stops-roses and crate mrytles by Valentines is my rule-MBC

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad you got some yard stuff in, we are still a month or so away to being able to that :o)

mistress maddie said...

The Mistress doesn't prune a damn thing. She has her team of HOT muscular Brazilians to do it! She just serves to iced tea.

Beth said...

I love the tranny/pruning comparison!

I don't prune a whole lot (I don't grow roses, and I know pruning is very important with those), but if any flowering shrubs need to be cut back, I do it in early spring. We do have some fruit trees that will eventually need to be pruned, but they're too young to worry about that at the moment.



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